Never Tell Me The Odds Part Two

2020-07-13 (2)
I love seeing things like this.

I went to a couple of bars with a friend of mine this last Saturday night. It was the first time that I have been to a bar since the pandemic. There were a few slight changes that I noticed from the pre-pandemic days. Masks were required for entry and for when you were wandering around, but while you were sitting at your own table with your group, you didn’t need to wear it. Which leads me to believe that the whole mask thing is nothing but a bunch of bullshit.

That’s not the point of this post.

My friend and I were talking more or less all night long about women. His goal from the time that I have known him is that he wants “younger, hotter, tighter.” Why wouldn’t he? What’s not to want? Problem with my friend is that he’s in his head too much.

He would say all sorts of things to me and I would respond over and over with, “Yeah, but did you approach?” Of course he didn’t. I got so frustrated a few times that I wanted to punch him.

I’ve learned that guys will talk themselves out of damn near anything and everything.

I finally got to a point where I told him, “Dude, if you see a girl you like, just say hi. That’s it. Don’t worry about what else to say, don’t worry about how you are going to come off. Just smile and say hi. Then walk away. Do you think you can do that?”

Everybody has to start somewhere and when I first started learning about my own approach and social anxiety, that’s where I started. I would just smile and say hi and then go on my way. When that got to be no big deal, I would then add things to it and before too long I was having conversations with complete strangers. Sometimes those conversations went somewhere, sometimes they didn’t.

Baby steps.

It was getting towards the end of the night and we were sitting there, getting ready to leave when this redhead early 20-something walks by and my friend says, “Hi!” to her as she and her friends are leaving. The girl stops, looks at him, her face lit up and she says “Hi!” back to him. He proceeds to say something along the lines of “How are you doing? What are you up to?” And the girl walks over to him/us. She starts talking and of course, her cockblocking fat friend shows up, grabs her by the arm and tells her, “C’mon we’re going.” And drags her off. Right on schedule.

Not two fucking minutes later though, the redhead came back.

“Let me give you my phone number.” My friend handed her his phone and she put her number in it and told him her name was Hailey and that she wanted to talk to him. She then proceeded to leave as the cockblocker was making her way back to her.

If my friend had told me this story, I wouldn’t have believed it. Except I was sitting there, heard it with my own two ears and saw it with my own two eyes. I’m not leaving any details out, this is literally what happened, it’s literally the whole conversation that happened between the two of them.

He said “Hi!” She said “Hi!” The cockblocker showed up and whisked PYT away and PYT came back and gave him her phone number without him asking for it. I’m not exaggerating.

Was my friend simply the right guy at the right place at the right time? Probably. It definitely wasn’t because he had tight game and gave her some killer routine or that he looked like Chad Thundercock because he doesn’t. It all started because he chose to nut up, stop being a pussy, and he said hi.

One thing I can fucking guarantee you though is this: If he hadn’t said “Hi” to her, nothing would have happened whatsoever.

I’m so happy he did something. I feel like a Dad watching his kid ride a bicycle without the training wheels for the first time. I’m so happy for him, it was almost like it was me who got the number.

I’m sure there are plenty of naysayers who will say some stupid fucking shit like, “She probably does that with all the guys she meets.” Or something like, “Even a broken clock is right twice a day.” You know what? Who cares? Sit back in the cheap seats and Monday night quarterback this all you want. At least my friend had the courage to actually try instead of just talking about it or bitching and moaning about “wahmen bad.”

 

“Don’t care, got laid.” – Rian Stone

 

Never tell me the odds that you can or can’t do something because you’ll be right. If you don’t think you can, you’re right. If you don’t think something is attainable, you’re right. Who am I to try and convince you one way or another about your point of view that you so desperately cling to?

I’m so proud of my friend for taking a chance and getting out of his comfort zone for just a moment. Will he and that girl end up going anywhere or doing anything? Who knows? That’s up to them. It could go in any direction. I’m just glad he took a chance, otherwise she would have been the girl that he talked about later that he wished he had said something to and didn’t.

Well done my Friend, well done.

Next time, after you say “Hi,” you can think of something else to say or you can’t just listen to her blather on, because they do. Don’t worry about fucking it up because you probably will, and that’s okay because nobody is watching and nobody gives a shit.

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Red Flags Are A Green Light

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“Kitten”

“Red flags are a green light.” – Jack Napier and Troy Francis, I believe.

The picture in this post is one that my girl “Kitten” sent me when we first started seeing each other. I cropped her face out for privacy reasons, but rest assured, that’s her.

“Kitten” has more red flags than a communist flag parade. She tatted up to beat the band, she has more tattoos than I do and that’s saying something. She’s got more drama than a New York play, and issues? Oh my hell, the girl has them in spades. Basically she is crazy as a shithouse rat.

I’m not saying all of this stuff to bash on her. She’s a great woman. And the sex… Until you’ve had sex with a bonafide crazy chick, you haven’t had mindblowing, roll your eyes in the back of your head, forget your name, dehydrate your body sex.

The thing is, I knew right from the start what I was getting myself into. I knew about a great majority of her red flags, and I was willing to listen to her when she would open up her mouth and more red flags would fall out. Women will do that if you let them. If they are crazy, they will tell you if you will only let them and listen to them and not judge them for it.

I knew what I was getting myself into so when things started to go sideways, I saw it coming and was able to get out of the way of the the inevitable trainwreck that was coming my way. “Kitten” has since moved on to another guy and is sharing her drama with him now. Not my circus, not my monkey’s.

Would I have sex with her again? Sure, why not? She’s a great lay. That and she’s an all around fun girl to be with. Not only was the sex great, but our conversations were pretty cool too. We could talk about anything and everything under the sun and the moon, and she had some bizarre but cool ideas about how she saw the world. Would I commit to her, play house with her, and wife her up though? Not a chance in hell.

“Kitten” was a woman that I had an immediate sexual attraction to from the first time I laid eyes on her and I knew she felt the same way about me right off the bat. It was a mutual attraction and it was delicious. It took quite some time for her and I to get together but it happened eventually. I have no regrets.

Lots of guys on the internet talk about red flags, even I have talked about them in the past myself. It’s good to know red flags when you see them so that you are aware of them and you can act accordingly.

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with a woman with a bunch of red flags. Red flags are a green light if you know what you want from that encounter. Crazy chicks can be a huge amount of drama and they can be a drain on you, especially on your energy and your emotions. They can even be dangerous, and I mean that in a “stabby” way. Then again, some of the craziest women I have met have also been the most adventurous when it comes to damn near anything.

Want to have sex in public and film it while you are at it? A crazy woman will do that. Chances are a crazy woman will indulge whatever demented fantasy you have. Chances are she’s done it before and has even done things that you haven’t, or that you haven’t even thought of.

A lot of guys give women with red flags a bad rap. I can understand why to a degree. Maybe they got too close to the fire and they got burned. I know I have. I made the mistake years ago and married crazy. I learned from that experience though and thankfully my ex-wife wasn’t “stabby” crazy.

I won’t lie, I have a certain predilection towards crazy. Maybe it’s because “I ain’t fully right” either. I like the drama up to a point. I realize that everybody has some form of drama to one degree or another, and if you honestly don’t, well then you haven’t really lived.

Would I want a long term relationship with a woman who has a septum ring? Hell no. Those nose rings usually knock a woman’s attractiveness down a good solid two points. But would I want to hook a chain through that ring and literally lead her around my house and maybe my neighborhood while she is on her hands and knees? You better believe it. That’s hot.

Do I generally like multiple, unnaturally colored hair on a woman? Not usually. But I love seeing that shit bunched up in my fist as I’m pulling on it.

A woman with more tattoos than I have will give me a minute’s pause, but goddamn I want to see all of her artwork and hear the stories, if any, behind them as I’m licking them. I want to touch all of her tattoos lightly with my fingers so that I can feel the ridges and the textures, and trust me, there are ridges and textures to tattoos. You’ll know them when you feel them. It’s my own version of reading braille.

Why am I reminiscing about “Kitten” and talking about women with red flags? Why am I bringing it up? Because I’m missing my dose of crazy. I’m feeling the urge to complicate my life to a degree and diving back into the pool of crazy. Lately I’ve been thinking about goth chicks. The blacker the eyeliner, the more multicolored hair, the blacker the dress, the more tattoos and piercings the better. I’ve never said that I’m the role model that you’ve been looking for.

A lot of guys will try and steer you clear of a woman with red flags and I get it. If you are looking for a woman to commit to, these woman are probably a bad idea. If you have no experience with them, you can end up with huge regrets. But then again, how can you get experience with them unless you actually take the plunge and figure it out for yourself?

Know what you want when you are dealing with a woman with a bunch of red flags. Know what the potential fallout could be. But then again, red flags are a green light and some of my most intense and memorable memories have been with crazy chicks and I’m still here running my mouth.

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It’s An Invitation.

red envelope with fresh red flowers inside

A guy I follow on Twitter posed an interesting question:

A good-looking (7.5) extremely fit girl in the gym that I see often engage in some dribble of a conversation then tells me her boyfriend has been sent to overseas for an assignment. Is this an opening or a way to keep me away :-)?

I told him: It’s an invitation.

Whether he wants to do anything with that information is totally up to him. I don’t care either way.

Other people chimed in with their two cents, some saying yay, and some saying nay. I’m going to get into that in a minute as well. For right now, I just want to focus on the question or more precisely, the mindset to have in this situation, should it ever arise for you.

Always assume the sale.

If she’s talking to you, she may not want sex, at least at that moment, but she’s interested. If she does more than nod at you or talk to you in one word answers, she interested in you. Women are fantastic at not fucking guys they don’t want to fuck. Women are fantastic at letting you know when they are not interested in you, all you need to do is pay attention.

Most guys fuck this up though because they are stuck in their heads, too busy overanalyzing the situation. When you’re stuck in your head, you aren’t paying attention to what she is saying or how she is saying it. You’re too busy thinking what you’re going to say next. You’re not really listening, you’re just waiting your turn to talk. When you’re stuck in your head, you miss all the little cues and body language and whatnot that she is literally throwing at you. When you are stuck in your head overanalyzing things, odds are that you are overanalyzing the wrong things. You’re worried about if you are coming off as “cool,” or “witty,” or “funny,” or “smart,” or any number of things.

That shit doesn’t matter. You’re focusing on the wrong things. Ideally you should be focusing on her.

It’s always better to assume the sale than to not assume the sale.

I don’t know how many times I see guys fucking it up for themselves and either giving her a reason to not fuck him, or he talks himself out of a damn near sure thing. The 80/20 Rule is big on Twitter yet again, (what is old is new again) and I guess guys want to take it from a guideline to a Law.

Seduction and talking to women is an art, not a science. There are no hard “laws” when it comes to it. This isn’t chemistry or physics, this is talking to women. All the statistics, graphs, data, hypotheses, and logic don’t mean shit when it comes time to walk over and talk to her.

Sure the odds are against you. They are against all men, even “Chad.” Women are the selectors when it comes to sex. Even “Chad” has to work at it to get laid, he may not have to work at it as hard or as much as you or I do, but he still has to work at it.

It’s better to assume the sale and think that she’s interested in you than not. Thinking she’s not interested in you is just a form of defeat. You’ve already lost before you even showed up. Since we are creatures that have confirmation bias, if you think she’s not interested in you, then those are the signs and signals that you will look for. You literally won’t be able to see signs of interest from her. It’s better to assume the sale and see signs of interest, even if they aren’t actually there.

Since seduction isn’t a “hard science,” you can and do affect the outcome of any and every interaction that you have with women. If you assume she’s interested, she may very well be interested from the get-go, or she may become interested in a short period of time while you are conversing with her. But you’ll never know that if you assume she isn’t interested. Not to sound all new agey, but your thoughts and beliefs do affect your outcomes and results. I do think a lot of the “pick up” guys would agree with me on this one. Call it “vibe” or whatever you like.

Another thing I noticed in the interaction with the guy who asked the question I quoted was not only the yay’s and nay’s, but particularly the reasoning behind the nay’s, even though he didn’t ask for it.

The naysayers were mostly coming from a place of morality:

“If she has a bf she has a bf… that should be the end of it.”

Stay clear either way… If she is signaling that her BF is away and she wants to play, then she has no morals avoid. If she is hedging you…avoid.”

“Who cares? She has a bf, find a single girl to pursue.”

Women who want to fuck will find a way and find someone to fuck. It might be you, it might be me, it may very well be somebody else, but she’ll do it. In my opinion, it might as well be me.

Guys that tend to use morality and shame men into not fucking women, whether those women are “taken” or not, tend to be “low value men” as far as I’m concerned. Why do any of these guys care what the questioner does or not? It’s not their girlfriend is it? So why care?

Scarcity mentality and the fact that the guy doing the shaming and projecting his morality onto others because he isn’t getting any sex or doesn’t have many options is why. I have a feeling that this type of guy would make a horrible wing man if you were to ever go out to meet women. I think he would be the type to either end up cockblocking you or he would throw you under the bus because he wants a stab at the girl that you are talking to in addition to the girl that he may or may not be talking to. He wants them all because there just aren’t “enough to go around.”

I believe it was Rollo who said something to the extent of, “Alpha’s don’t commit to just one woman because they have options. Beta’s commit and invest heavily into one woman because they don’t have options.” I’m paraphrasing heavily here, but you get the idea.

If women “break rules for Alpha’s and make rules for Beta’s,” it’s also Beta men who make “rules” for other men to follow. Especially when it comes to women.

Keep that in mind when you are dealing with another man, whether online or in real life.

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