You’re Missing Out If You Don’t Read This

man wearing pink polo shirt with text overlay
Hurry now! Or you’ll miss out on…giving me your money! Or something…

Did that subject line get your attention and make you want to read this post?

Something I’ve noticed on Twitter lately, at least with a lot of the people that I follow.

They are good persuaders.

Young and older guys that I hope are making a killing at selling whatever it is that they are selling.

Good for them if they are.

I got sort of a problem with it all to a degree though.

As I’m getting older, I’ve come to realize that I don’t really want for much. My bills are paid. I’ve got a little extra in the bank (nothing spectacular, nothing that would carry me for the rest of my life, but enough to tide me over in the event that I got fired or decided to quit at the last moment without having something lined up.)

I have all the toys that I could ever want or need.

I’ve got more books, digital and paper, than I will ever read in this lifetime.

Got a decent home. (Nothing fancy, but it has enough space for me, my shit, and two cats.)

What I want for in my life, at least right now, is some quiet. A little peace. Not that my life is filled with strife, chaos, and drama, because it’s not. I designed my life that way.

Getting back to the guys on Twitter, and even some of the email lists that I’m on, how do I know they are good persuaders? Because of FOMO.

If you don’t know what FOMO is, it’s Fear Of Missing Out. I didn’t know what the hell it was when I saw somebody mention it, so I had to go and look it up.

These guys are so good at what they are doing that they even had me convinced that I was Missing Out. Missing out on a great opportunity. Missing out on a great price. Missing out on….whatever.

Christ, I felt like a ten peckered owl trying to get laid.

There’s a guy on Twitter, right now (at least the last time I checked anyways) named Dean Abbott. He’s writing about what he’s calling The Quiet Life.

Sounds good to me.

Maybe if you are young and are just starting out in life, the Quiet Life isn’t for you. I get that. It sure as hell wasn’t for me when I was in my late teen’s and through all of my twenties and even into my early 30’s.

But now….

You know what I want to do?

I want to smoke a good cigar and sit on my deck and watch the sunset. I want to listen to the rain fall.

You know what I don’t want to do?

Feel like I’m Missing Out.

Because really I’m not.

And neither are you.

The course that is for $XX.XX? It may go up in a few days or weeks or whatever. It may not. It may go away forever. That’s okay too. I was okay before that course hit my awareness, I’ll be okay long after it is gone.

Same with whatever book is being sold. Or seminar. Or webinar. Or conference. There’s a couple of conferences coming up later this year that I would like to attend, but time and money….

Mostly time. Money I can make.

While I’m sure that I would get some great experiences and whatnot from these conferences, meh.

I was fine before they came along, I’ll be fine after they are gone.

If any of you guys follow anything in the Manosphere and in particular, the Red Pill, (which I’m sure most, if not all of you are familiar with both) you hear a lot of talk about Unplugging.

Unplugging from “blue pill” ideals. Unplugging from the gynocentric society that we live in. I’m pretty sure you all know what I’m talking about.

But what about unplugging from being sold something?

I’ve been “unplugging” for a few years from the blue pill ideals and I’ve never had any regrets and have never looked back. And yet I find myself still “plugged in” when it comes to FOMO and certain persuasion “tactics” and sales pitches.

Do I think they are “wrong?” Not at all. For the guys who are selling, like I said earlier, good for them. I hope they make a killing and get everything they desire.

But do I want to hear it all the time? Especially knowing that if I don’t pay careful attention to what they are saying and how they are saying it, I’ll end up with a big case of FOMO, a lighter wallet, and a bunch of stuff I may not actually need?

No. I don’t want that.

I want The Quiet Life.

The only thing I want to be persuaded on right now is that cigar, a smooth drink, some good company (maybe one or more of you guys?) and a good sunset.

We could talk about all sorts of shit. We could talk about nothing at all. And it would be good by me.

Getting caught up in the hype will make you miss out on one thing though:

Your Life.

Keep that in mind.

 

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State Of Men Today With An Update

silhouette of man during nighttime

A while back, I wrote about some observations that I had made about Men today, and apparently I’m not the only Man to notice other Men having this same lost look of confusion. While I was at a loss to this “What the fuck? How did I get here?” state, one of my new follows, MJ, has broken it down into how Men have got here and what they can do about it.

The truth is you got there slowly as she broke you down….Somewhere along the way you went from that carefree guy having a good time to being her pack mule.  Carrying the load.  Likely not getting laid like it said in the shiny LTR brochure you were shown.

Ain’t that the fucking truth. It’s the Death by 1000 Concessions.

I’m going to tell you how to avoid that empty look.  First, choose wisely when selecting a LTR mate….

The most important way to avoid this hell is to be upfront about what you bring to the table, and what you expect…

Show her you are willing to face her fury.  Hold strong in the whirlwind she stirs thinking it will result in you backing down when she demands something. (Bold and emphasis is mine.)

MJ goes on in his article, which is a fantastic read. You should go check it out. Like immediately. The Man has been married for quite some time and because of that, he’s more of an “authority” on this particular subject matter than me.

MJ got me to do some introspection, and when I think back to my marriage, I was that guy who had the “How the fuck did I get here” stare. I really was that guy. One of the ways that I got there was the Death of 1000 Concessions. I wouldn’t “face her fury” as MJ describes it. I would go along to get along in order to have some peace and quiet. I wanted tranquility. What it got me was “compromises.”

Compromises in the form of she, the ex-wife, wanting something, me not wanting whatever it was, a fight breaking out, or her nagging me until she wore me down, and her getting what she wanted. That’s what she called a compromise. She wanted a dog, I didn’t want a dog. We “compromised” and got a dog. She wanted a tablet, I didn’t think she needed a tablet (trust me, she didn’t need it.) We “compromised” and she got a tablet.

I’m not blaming her for any of this. This was totally on me. I didn’t necessarily create this particular “monster,” but I enabled it and endorsed it because I allowed it and wanted peace and harmony over conflict. And who wouldn’t want peace and harmony over conflict? Point is though, not all conflict is bad, and even when it is, you have to stand up and face it. Sometimes you do have to be the asshole and say no. Sometimes you do have to be the “bad guy.” Accept it and move on. Stand your ground on the things that matter. Learn to say no. Learn to stand against her fury and her outrage. Learn to deal with her behavior and more importantly, learn to accept less shitty behavior from her. Stop rewarding her bullshit. Put the kibosh on it or be willing to walk away.

 

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10 Pieces Of Actionable Advice

man in black short running on pavement road

I’ve been listening to a lot of different podcasts lately, and I’ve been watching a few different videos on YouTube when I get a chance. Honestly, I don’t nearly consume as much as I used to. Becoming a producer of content is far more gratifying and takes up far more time than consuming. You have to be active to be a producer. All you have to do to consume is click a button and sit there.

Which brings me to what the subject line of today’s post is about:

10 Pieces Of Actionable Advice:

  1. Get and stay focused. Stay on task for more than a few minutes. I know that’s hard for you in today’s day and age of dopamine hits and instant gratification, but if you want to accomplish anything, and I mean anything, in your life, you need to stay focused. Stop chasing the next dopamine hit. Watch the video for more than ten fucking seconds. Clear the fog from your ritalin addled, ADD head and stay on track.
  2. Stop asking other men to tell you what to do. This is a big one. Maybe the biggest one of all. Like I said at the beginning of this article, I’ve been listening to a lot of different podcasts lately. In one of them, the host does a Q and A session on each episode. His thoughts and his advice are great even though they are a little bit simplistic. What I noticed though is that his audience is almost entirely made of men, young men if I had to guess, and while they asked all sorts of questions across a wide range of subjects, there was a common theme to them all: “What should I do? Tell me what I should do.” If you ever want to have control over your life, if you ever want to become a leader of Men, you need to stop asking other Men what you should do. Too many men today are either completely clueless and stupid, or lazy, if I had to guess. You’re a fat piece of shit? You know what to do. Get off your ass and go for a walk. Cut down on the amount of food you consume. Eat healthier. Stop worrying about “doing it right.” Stop trying to be a perfectionist. Just fucking do it. Stop looking for someone else to hold your hand. Take a risk.
  3.  Do the work. Stop being lazy and/or entitled. Google the information yourself. Do some of the heavy lifting for once in your life. Look it up yourself. No one is your “dancing monkey,” so stop expecting them to do the work for you. Stop with the expectation that someone else will do it for you. They won’t.
  4. Stop being a perfectionist. Doing it, whatever it is, is better than not doing it, even if it isn’t perfect. When you wait until everything is “just right,” when everything is perfect, guess what happens? Nothing. You’ll never get moving. You’ll never start. You’ll never go anywhere. Why is that? Because perfect doesn’t exist except for in your head. You’ll always find some reason or excuse to not execute, to not start. Look for a reason to not do something and you’ll always find it. Always. Better to have something out there, even if it’s flawed than not have something out there at all.
  5. Stop consuming media that isn’t intended for you. Women write to and for other women, not to men. Don’t get caught up in the outrage, it’s just a distraction meant to keep you off-balance. It’s meant to cause you anxiety, distress, you name it. When that happens you can’t think straight and the usual way that we’ve been conditioned to get rid of this anxiety is to buy something. Outrage is meant get your business, nothing more. By clicking on a link, you are giving your business. You are enticed to subscribe, to sign up, to buy. The outrage is intentional in this aspect. It’s meant to get you to open up your wallet. Don’t buy into it. In the past, Men’s affairs were in the public domain while women’s affairs were in the private domain. They were separate. Now it’s all public. Stay away from media that wasn’t intended for you as a Man. The affairs of women shouldn’t concern you. Let them sort it out. Sort out your own shit.
  6. When you’ve exhausted all of your options, it’s okay to ask for help. Ask specific questions, ie. which strength training program is better for long term gains? vs. What should I do now? Do the initial work first, then ask for help when you hit a wall or get stuck.
  7. When asking for help, what do you have to give in exchange? Money? Knowledge? Labor? A skill? What value do you offer to the person you are asking the question? Their time, knowledge, and experience is valuable too.
  8. When you ask and you receive, do something with what you are given! Otherwise you are just an askhole.
  9. Manners are important. Don’t be a fuck when asking for help. Don’t demand.
  10. Stop looking for magic formulas, short cuts and hacks. There aren’t any. You have to do the work. You have to do the heavy lifting. It’s going to take time and effort. Think work in progress and think long game. Stop with the immediate gratification and dopamine hits.

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