Author: Rob Says

A man who loves and likes women.

The Numbers Were Down

Rob SaysLeave a comment

white graphing paper

Dwayne sat hunched over his computer monitor, looking at the screen. He had been sitting and staring at it for more than ten minutes. In that time, and no matter how hard he wanted it to be different, the numbers hadn’t changed.

They were down.

His course sales had fallen off dramatically. His online accountability club was losing memberships faster than he could gain them. Even his old friend, Tennessee said that things were looking grim. “It’s been a tough year Pard.”

“It sure has, Tennessee. What do you think can be done about it?”

“I don’t know for sure Pard, but maybe we ought to come clean and own our shit and admit we fucked up. Maybe we backed the wrong guys.”

Dwayne sat and thought about it long and hard.

“No Tennessee, I don’t think that’s the answer. I can’t do that. I’m just going to keep looking the other way and pretend that what happened didn’t happen.”

“I get it Pard, it’s hard to eat shit and then some. So what do we do?”

Dwayne felt an icy chill run down his back, he was thinking about how he had quit his job to focus on his online club and to making courses. His wife couldn’t work at the moment, she was in the final trimester of her pregnancy. She was eight months along and could go into labor at any moment. She had complications during the last pregnancy and their son had been born a month premature.

Dwayne pulled up a spreadsheet. It showed the amount of money they had in the bank versus the amount of money that they owed. The amount owed was much higher than what they had available.

Tennessee was staring at Dwayne intently, watching his every move. Normally the older man was a rock, steadfast. The lines of worry that crossed his face unsettled Dwayne, he was used to the older man being an anchor. It was scary seeing the older man in the shape he was; like a trapped animal.

“I don’t know just yet Tennessee, but I’ve got to figure something out, the mortgage is coming up, the truck payment is overdue, and then there’s Maggie…” He trailed off.

Tennessee nodded his head, sat back and sighed. Then he snapped his fingers and said, “I’ve got it!”

Dwayne looked at the older man eagerly.

“Hand me your laptop there Pard.”

Dwayne handed the laptop over to Tennessee. Tennessee then logged onto his social media account and typed, “All the guys who have met me and have talked to me have gotten their bang for their buck. Pure value, hands down.” Then he hit send.

Tennessee handed back the laptop to Dwayne with a smile. “There we go Pard, I think we’ll weather this storm.”

Dwayne put the laptop back on the kitchen table, and opened up his own social media account. “I hope you’re right Tennessee. I don’t know what I’m going to do if the course sales and the accountablity club keep dropping off. I would hate to have to go and ask for my job back.”

“I hear ya Pard.” Tennesse told Dwayne, patting him on the back.

Dwayne looked at his social media account. “Goddammit, why can’t these guys just fucking forget about the shit that happened before? Why can’t they just let it go?”

Already there were what seemed like thousands of mentions of Dwayne’s name and guys asking him why he was turning a blind eye to the antics of his online friends.

Tennesee looked and winced. “It’s getting pretty bad Pard, what are you going to say or do?”

Dwayne rubbed his hand across his face, feeling the stubble rasp under his palm.

“I know what to say,” he said. Then he began to type.

“Fatherhood is about taking care of business and handling your shit,” The keys on the keyboard clicked. “Here’s my son crushing it at the hockey game on Saturday.” Dwayne uploaded a photo of his oldest son in his jersey, with a hockey stick in hand. “I couldn’t be more proud of him.” Dwayne pressed send.

“We just keep ignoring it, Tennesse. We have to.” Dwayne said as he looked at his friend.

An alert on the computer grabbed Dwayne’s attention. He clicked over to his online club account to see what the notification was.

Another two members had unsubscribed.

Both wanted refunds.

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The Relationship That I Don’t Want

Rob SaysLeave a comment

photo of couple hugging during dawn

I’m not sure if I wrote about this particular topic or not, so I went back and revisited some of my old posts, mostly around the time that my Mother died. I couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I’m going to go over it here. If you guys out there reading this have seen this before, my apologies for rehashing old news. (Oh, and if I did go over it, drop me a comment pointing me to where I talked about this, thanks in advance.)

Right after my Mother died, my Father and I had a real genuine, man-to-man talk about his and her relationship. He shed some light on it for me that was truly eye opening. I had imagined that they were together out of “true love.” Not that bullshit, blue-pill “The One Soul Mate” shit that’s part of well, everything, but that they genuinely really loved each other.

Turns out that wasn’t the case. My Mom divorced my Dad when I was around eight years old or so, and long story short, they got back together when I was eighteen and remarried each other when I was twenty or twenty one. They were by each other’s side until the day she died. That’s where I figured that they really loved one another. Don’t get me wrong, I know they loved each other, but as my Dad told me:

“There was no love lost between me and your Mother.”

“Why did you stay with her then?”

“Because it was cheaper to keep her.”

Those are exact quotes.

Because it was cheaper to keep her. My Dad was more concerned about his “stuff,” his possessions than truly living his life on his own terms. I don’t fault my Dad. He’s a baby boomer that has pretty much drank all of the Kool-Aid when it comes to life.

Those words keep ringing in my ears. It was cheaper to keep her.

My Dad now has another relationship with another woman, and she’s a good woman. They seem to get along pretty well and both seem content with one another. I’m happy for the both of them. And yet, what I’m seeing is my Dad recreating the same relationship that he had with my Mother. This woman is…Okay. I think my Dad has a scarcity mentality going on. Maybe it’s his age. Maybe it’s his generation, I don’t know.

All I do know is that I don’t want the relationship that he has and that he had. If that is what life is truly about, if that is what relationships are truly about, then I want nothing to do with them. I would rather be alone. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than live like that.

The thing is, I know that’s not how life is and that relationships have to be that way, they don’t have to be that way because I’m living it, I’m living proof that there is “another way.” He’s even met two of my girls. He has witnessed “how I roll.” And over the last year, I’ve tried to gently explain all of this to my Dad. Consider it me dropping little red-pill nuggets on him from time to time when the discussion of his or my dating life comes up. He doesn’t want to hear it though, and that’s the hard part. I get to watch him burn.

Who am I to tell him what to do and how to live his life though? He’s happy enough with how his life is and with what he has, so I just smile and nod and go with the flow and let it go.

He thinks what I’m doing when it comes to “spinning plates” is absolutely crazy. He thinks I should date women my own age. He thinks a lot of outdated things when it comes to women and relationships. That’s okay though. He can think whatever he likes and I don’t mind when he offers me dating advice, even if it is quaint, out of date, and honestly, at least for me, just plain wrong. He can do him and I’ll do me.

Oh Dad, if only you could see what I see. If only you could see through my eyes. You might change your mind about damn near everything. But you can’t see through my eyes. You can’t read my mind. And the few times I’ve tried, you’ve turned a blind eye and a deaf ear on what I have said. That’s okay though Dad, I don’t fault you or blame you, you just get to burn is all. You do you, Dad, and I love you anyway.

Dad, you are so smart and so wise when it comes to many, many things. I thoroughly enjoy sitting with you, at the kitchen table, in the back yard, down in the basement, and at the car shows, listening to you dispense your wisdom about vehicles, home repair, even fixing meals. But I have to draw the line with you. I have to draw the line when it comes to women. Dad, I know I’m no “expert” when it comes to women, far from it. But I do know that I have more experience with women than you have or will ever have. Even if I swear off women today, right now, and never deal with them again, I know more about them than you ever will.

I know for a fact that I do not want the relationships that you have created for yourself when it comes to women. I won’t settle. I won’t. There’s too many of them out there. There’s just too damn many of them and not enough time. I may choose to see women of all age groups, including women in my own age group, but that will be because that is what I choose. Not because that is what I “should” do, or “ought” to do. I’ll follow my own path when it comes to women. It’s okay if you don’t understand why I’m doing what I’m doing, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you don’t press the issue, even if you think I’m absolutely crazy. Because I’m not, Dad. I’m not crazy. I know what I’m doing. Thank you for trusting me on how I choose to live my life, even if you don’t agree with me. It’s totally okay that we can agree to disagree.

I firmly believe that we create or find the relationships that we grow up watching. I know I did that for many years. What I saw that my parents had, well, that’s what relationships are about. That’s how they just are. But that’s not the case though. Not to sound like some “New Age” bullshit artist, but you really can create the relationships you want. You just have to have the balls to do it. You just have to literally take it.

You want kinky, horny women in your life? All women are like that. They really are. You just have to “expect” it. It’s just a normal part of life, a normal part of your life. If you think it’s possible and normal, then it is. If you think it’s all bullshit and not possible, you’ll be right on that one too. If you think women are goofy, fun spazzes, they are. If you think they are cold-hearted and “out to get you,” they are that too. They are and will become whatever you see and think about them. They “reflect” back you. I don’t know how to explain it other than that.

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Knights And Dragons Part Two

Rob Says1 Comment

ancient animal antique architecture

Part 1 can be found here.

Dragons are real and they walk amongst us. Men think that they are either a figment of imagination, a fiction, or that they did actually exist at one point in history, but are now extinct. But they are neither. They do exist, and they do walk among us. – The Wizard.

“How do I know they are real? Because I have seen them. I’ve seen them walking among men. I’ve seen them in the shops and the bizarres. I’ve seen them serving wine to barons and kings and warlords. I even knew one that was a king of a kingdom, but that was a long time ago. I’ve seen them interacting with the children of the kingdom and I’ve seen one of them playing a lyre.”

“I’ve heard the knights telling their stories about how they have seen a dragon. I’ve heard them talk about riding deep into the woods or into some foreign countryside, and finding a dragon in his den, his lair. I’ve heard them regale each other with tales of battle with these dragons, and of course, the knight would always win. How else could he be telling his tale? Of course, it’s all a lie. There hasn’t been a genuine sighting of a dragon in over one hundred years. And the last time that man and dragon faced each other down in genuine combat has been over four hundred years ago. I know, because I witnessed it. I was there.”

“The truth is, these men, these knights, wouldn’t know what to do with a dragon if they knew that they had actually encountered one. They definitely wouldn’t know how to fight one. But who am I to argue with them? They wouldn’t listen to me if I told them, and they wouldn’t believe me if they did deign to listen. And that’s okay, their stories are amusing to me, and besides a beautiful woman, there is nothing more that I like to do than have a good tale and a good laugh. I live for a good story, a good tale, and I love to laugh.”

“When did dragons come about? That I don’t know. Perhaps they have been around since the beginning. They’ve been around longer than I have, and I have been around for a very long time. I do know that some dragons are born, but they are extremely rare. Most are created. Neither is better or necessarily stronger or more powerful than the other.”

“What’s that? Why yes, most dragons are actually created. You didn’t know that did you? Of course you didn’t, but that’s because you are not a dragon, and until very recently, at least to your knowledge, you had never seen or met a dragon. I promise you, you have. You just didn’t know it at the time.”

“How are dragons created? That’s a good question, and I’m glad you asked. First, you have to have met a dragon, and know that they are a dragon. Dragons haven’t gone around flaunting their ‘dragon status’ as it were, in a very long time. Then you would have to ask the dragon if they would be willing to ‘re-create’ you in their image. Some might be flattered and honored at your request, and they might grant it. Most of the time though, they would likely refuse you. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because being a dragon is a ‘curse,’ but more like most people couldn’t actually handle being a dragon. You definitely become an outsider to your community if you do, and if the knights knew that you existed and you were around, they would most likely come after you. That can be a huge headache.”

“But let’s say that you met a dragon, and you knew it was a dragon, and you asked to become a dragon, like him, and he accepted your request? He would transfer some of his ‘essence’ to you. It could be some of his blood, it could be a bite or a scratch. It could come from his saliva. Every dragon has a different way of transferring his ‘essence’ to you. No two dragons are really the same when it comes to that. After the transference is done, the dragon would take you under his wing, both metaphorically and literally and teach you what you need to know now that you are a dragon. He would tutor you in the ways of transformation, of flight, and of course, of fire. That tutoring could go on for years and years, or it could only take a few months to a year. That all depends on you, the new dragon, and your willingness to learn, and what experiences you have already brought to your transformation.”

“After that, you are free to do as you choose. You get to go on and live your life. You get to do what you want to do and have your adventures. You would most likely see and meet other dragons, because after all, like knows like. You would see them wherever they are and you would both smile and nod at each other, giving each other a wink. You might even make friends with some of the other dragons that are out there, and you would probably do things with them. There’s nothing more magnificent than watching a couple or a group of dragons doing things in tandem. It is truly a sight to behold.”

“There is more that I could tell you, but time is running short and I want to go. It’s time we get down to the castle and see what is afoot. Are you ready?”

“I’m ready,” she beamed. She was stunning. All dressed and ready to go, her radiant hair down over her shoulders, touching the swell of her breasts. Her clothing back on, she was truly beautiful.

“You look amazing my dear, but then again, you look better naked in my bed,” said the Wizard.

“You stop!” She blushed and punched him lightly on the shoulder as he put an arm around her waist and tickled the small of her back.

“Maybe we should stay here yet a little while longer,” he teased. “The knights aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, and my appetite is back.”

“You’re incorrigible!” She said with false indignation, giggling and playfully slapping at the Wizard.

“Yes I am. And that is what you love about me.” He said as he lightly bit her ear. “But we’ve fooled around long enough, it’s time to go and see what there is to be seen.”

The Wizard pulled the woman close to him and uttered an incantation, just barely under his breath.

Moments later, they were standing in the courtyard of the castle that was in the valley below. The screams of combat could be heard from over the castle walls, the sounds of swords on shields and armor pierced the air; the din and cacophony was enormous. The battle had been joined.

To be continued…

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