So You Want To Do A Live Show?

April 8, 2020April 8, 2020 Rob Says1 Comment

selective focus photography of gray stainless steel condenser microphone

I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day, and he was asking me about what it takes to be in, or do, a live show.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far, and it doesn’t matter if you are doing your own channel and/or show, or if you are a guest on someone else’s show and/or channel:

Microphone Etiquette: When you need to step away from your microphone, mute it. Nobody wants to hear you fighting with a bear in your living room, and nobody wants to hear you microwaving your food. If you really want to be professional, mute your microphone until you are about to speak. Nobody wants to hear you eating your crunchy munchy shit, or your bowl of cereal. Basically, unless you are about to speak, mute your microphone. A really good microphone, or even a shitty one can be extremely sensitive and can pick up literally anything and everything. Think about that toilet flush, that train in your backyard, your dog barking, cat meowing, or your family thumping around in the next room. All of that can and will be picked up on a sensitive microphone.
Your camera: Turn it off when you leave it to do whatever it is that you need to do. Nobody cares about you eating your burrito, so don’t show them that you’re eating a burrito, unless that is what your show is about, then by all means, eat your burrito on camera. While we’re at it, for most shows, the viewers want to see you. Don’t leave your camera off for extended periods of time, unless you are wanting to do the whole anonymous thing. In this case, by all means, leave your camera off. If you do decide to show your face realize that the cat is now out of the bag and you don’t get to go back to being anonymous, because the internet never forgets. So choose wisely. You can be anonymous or you can show your face, but for the most part, you can’t do both. While we are discussing cameras, 720p minimum. You don’t need to go all fancy and go for 4k unless that is your thing, but 720p is where you want to start. 1080p is ideal in this situation. Especially if you want to create your own videos as well as be in a live show. Cameras that shoot in 720p or 1080p are done dirt cheap these days, so there’s really no excuse to have something of lesser resolution.
Your connection: Hardwired or GTFO. Yes, in a pinch you can do it via wireless, and sometimes that may be your only option, but if at all possible, connect straight from your computer to your modem/router via an ethernet cable. That way you minimize the “chop” and the freeze ups. I can’t tell you how many times viewers will come on to see what you are up to, only to leave moments later, never to return again, because you or a guest had a shitty connection. You want viewers to show up and to keep them there? Start with a stable, fast connection. Anything else and they will go somewhere else, and fast. And getting them to come back? Good luck.
Your background: This can be a tough one. Nobody wants to see something that is too “busy.” But then again, nobody wants to think that you live in a dark cave. Less can definitely be more in this scenario. It’s better to have a plain wall than to have a ton of shit behind you, but then again, it’s better to have something that can visually stimulate your viewers than a white-wash. That is why I prefer a green screen. You can put up whatever you want behind you then. It stimulates your viewers and you can use pretty much whatever you want. Ideally you want something that is not too busy, nor too plain, and is yours. Or at least something that you didn’t swipe off of the internet. Otherwise you could end up committing copyright infringement and there goes your show. Use a gradient if necessary. It’s easy to create, can’t be copyrighted for the most part, it’s simple, and it isn’t too busy or too plain usually.
Your microphone: Yes, I covered microphone etiquette, but now I want to talk about your microphone itself. You don’t need to take out a second mortgage on your microphone, but literally anything is better than the one that is built into your computer or the one that is built into your earbuds. A decent microphone is worth its weight in gold. It can be the difference in sounding amateur and that you are doing or participating in a show from a tin can, and something that sounds half decent. If I can hear your car and the road noise, chances are I’m going to be distracted and not tune in to the rest of that episode. You sound “good,” and I’m not getting a lot of extraneous noise, I’m more likely to stick around for that episode and for future episodes. While I don’t think a high quality microphone is absolutely essential, especially when you are first starting out, it does matter. Get a decent one as soon as you can.
What you say is more important than how you say it: What I mean by this is, your content is more important than your editing or any special effects. What you have to say is more important than that J or L cut, or that nifty fire effect that you added to your video or to your show. If you have nothing to say, all of the cuts, edits, and special effects in the world won’t cover up a crappy video or live show. Story, or content, is better than special effects.
Be authentic: In today’s world, it’s really easy to hide behind filters, masks, background music, and even green screens. Your viewers are starving for authenticity. While you should work at minimizing your “umms” and “ahhs,” at the same time, don’t obsess over them. Work on reducing them for sure, but be authentic. While you may demonetize your video or show if you swear, at the same time, if that’s how you roll, then roll with it. Be relatable. Let your viewers know that you are human and that you make mistakes, just like them. They will relate and love you for it. It’s okay to screw up and make mistakes. Keep going. Move on. The show must go on.
Be consistent: If you decide to do a show, or be a part of a show on whatever day and time of the week that you decide, then do it. Your viewers are counting on it. If you have to change your day and time for whatever reason, let your viewers know in as far as advance as possible. I get it, life happens. Things come up. Let them know as soon as you possibly can. And if you need to make a change for whatever reason, stick to the reschedule. Nobody likes an unpredictable showtime believe it or not. Randomness doesn’t pay off in this area. If you decide to do or be a part of a show on a certain day and time, make sure you honor that day and time. Your guests, co-hosts, and viewers will respect and love you more for it.
Have fun: What’s the point in all of this if you are absolutely miserable? Whether you are doing a show to gain exposure, make money, or have your grab at “fame,” ideally you should be having fun. If you aren’t, you better take another look at why you want to do any of this.

That’s a good start for now I think. I’ll make more posts as things come up and as people chime in.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

Now Is The Time

April 6, 2020April 5, 2020 Rob SaysLeave a comment

analogue black and white black and white clock

On Sunday I had another Salt Lake Sit-Down with Tim Keefe and Skelton. It was a great show. I highly recommend you check it out if and when you get a chance. There’s a lot to unpack and parse in it and a lot of good takeaways.

One of the things that we talked about, towards the end of the show was the need, now more than ever, for guys to use their voices. Guys like you reading this.

I’ve talked about it in the past on several occasions both in videos and in blog form, but now is the time to use your voices. We have the technology and the prices to buy that technology are done dirt cheap. Now is the time to say what you need to say, to get it out there.

Don’t worry about Screaming into the Void. It’s okay if you are starting out at zero. Nobody is listening, nobody is watching. Nobody is tuning in. I don’t want to sound like a cliche, but if you do in fact build it, they will come. There are far more seekers than there are content creators. I started at zero, so did Vince, TJ, Aaron, and everyone else that has an audience or has a following. We all started at zero. Do it anyway.

Don’t worry if it has all “been said before.” Maybe the way you say it and express it will “stick” better with someone than the prior guy who said it. Say it anyway.

We are on the verge of something completely different and unknown from what we have known up until now. If things keep going in certain directions, we are most likely headed towards another Dark Age with all the mumbo jumbo, mystical, “woo-woo” thinking. We could stand to lose all sorts of ideas and knowledge due to fear and wanting others to do the “hard thinking” for us. Don’t let that happen. Don’t focus on fear, crackpot nonsense, platitudes, and lizard people. Start thinking and talking about what is actually going on around us, around you. Stop trying to predict the future and focus on solutions that can actually help you and others around you get out of the mess that is going on around us.

Don’t be lazy, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and mess things up. You aren’t always going to get it “right” on the first try or the first go. Just go for it and do it.

Use your voice. Speak what you know about. Boost the signal. If you can’t find what it is that you are looking for, then create it for yourself. Others will show up.

Now is the time.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

The “Lonely Old Man”

April 1, 2020June 11, 2022 Rob Says4 Comments

2020-01-27 (2)

Ain’t got no woman next to me
I just got this magazine
And what’s on the TV screen
But that’s okay with me – Mr. Bungle

I’ve been thinking about “The Lonely Old Man” myth, and it is a myth, for awhile now. Fear-mongers and dipshits (see above photo) will try and capitalize on men’s fear of being the “Lonely Old Man.”

Got news for you:

We all die alone.

That’s right. We all die alone. The days of dying in your bed, surrounded by your family and loved one’s are over and have been for some time.

My grandfather on my father’s side died in 1995 at the age of 85. He had a major stroke in his sleep and it put him in a coma. The doctor’s all figured he wouldn’t live for more than a day or two at the most, and that he would never come out of the coma. And yet he did. He lived for a few months and he came out of the coma. He was paralyzed on one complete side of his body. He couldn’t see or hear from his left side if I remember correctly. He also couldn’t speak. He could understand you though, and he was aware of what what going on around him.

He lived on and was moved from ICU to a standard room and then was eventually moved to a rehabilitation facility with a high prognosis of being released to live out the rest of his days in his home. My grandmother was 77 at the time and struggled to take care of herself, let alone a man who would never walk again, would live the rest of his days in mute silence for the most part, and would need help with everything. She was terrified of the prospect of having to become a full time caregiver to her husband. She was willing to do it, mind you, but she was terrified nonetheless.

As fate would have it, that scenario never came to pass. My grandfather died in his sleep one night at the rehabilitation facility from complications from pneumonia. He died at the age of 85, and he died alone. No one from friends or family was by his side when he died.

My grandmother died at the age of 98 in 2015. She too died in her sleep and alone in a rest home. No one from family was there at the time that she died.

My grandfather on my mother’s side died in 2004 from complications from a surgery that he had just had. He too died alone in a hospital bed with no one from friends or family surrounding him.

My mother died on September 17, 2018. She too died in a hospital bed, in her sleep. She had a couple of close friends there to witness her passing, but my father and I were not there. She died from complications from chemotherapy from ovarian cancer.

We no longer care for our elderly in our own homes for the most part. Taking care of someone in their final days can be taxing to say the least. Most people do not have the skills or the knowledge to do this task anymore. Long gone are those days, and long gone are the days where you buried your dead in your own backyard.

When my ex-girlfriend decided to end our relationship at the beginning of September of 2018, I was devastated. Not going to lie. For several months afterwards, sleeping alone was tough. In fact, I would say that was one of the hardest things to get used to. Sleeping alone. In my own bed.

But I got used to it. It took some time, but I got there. Now I revel sleeping alone in my own bed. All of it is mine. I can sprawl out in any direction I desire, and I don’t have to worry about disturbing anyone with my movements or on the occasion that I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom or get a drink of water.

I still have the occasional “sleepover” once in awhile. Several women have shared my bed and shared the night with me and woke up in the morning with me since my breakup. I still enjoy sleeping alone more though.

My Dad sleeps alone these days as well. If history repeats itself to one degree or another, he’ll most likely die in his sleep and he’ll die alone too. Both he and I are good with that. It is what it is. He struggled initially with sleeping alone after my mother died, much like I did when my ex-girlfriend moved out. He too got over it in time. He enjoys sleeping alone in his bed as well. Nothing and no one to disturb him or vice versa. His girlfriend has her own home and her own bed to sleep in, and that’s the way they both like it.

I’ve met plenty of people over the years that live alone. Many of them choose to not re-enter the dating world. My ex-mother-in-law is a case in point. Her husband died back in 1999, way before I had ever met my now ex-wife, and chose not to get involved with men ever since. As far as I know, she’s still single and still not looking or interested in meeting another man. I imagine she still is enjoying her life, just like she was when I knew her.

I know a few things for myself at this point in my life:

I’ll most likely never remarry again. There’s no point in doing it. The risks and liabilities outweigh the pros and the rewards. Now that doesn’t mean that I won’t have relationships with women, it just means that I don’t think I’ll ever remarry.

Another thing I’ve thought about a lot over the last year is that I’ll probably never have another live-in relationship again. I’ve “played house” twice now, and I’ve received similar outcomes, which means that the common denominator is me. I don’t think I’m cut out for the whole “domesticated” thing. I enjoy my freedom too much to make those sorts of compromises and sacrifices again.

One of my girls and I had that talk the other night. She’s definitely in no hurry to live full time with another man. She raised her kids and she took care of her husband until their relationship ended. She did that for more than twenty years. Now she’s more interested in taking care of herself and doing what she wants. I can’t argue with that. The last thing I want is a woman who tries to “mother” me. I had a mother, thank you, and she was more than enough. I don’t need or want another one.

So the “Lonely Old Man” myth is just that. A myth. I’ve met far too many people who enjoy their lives without someone there to “take care of them.” More often than not, in today’s society, you will end up in a nursing facility, a hospital, or some other “end of life” facility when that time comes.

Your spouse and your children aren’t obligated to take care of you at the end of your life, and they may not have the time, the skills, or the ability to do so when that time comes. Be aware of this, but don’t necessarily be worried about it. Accept it for what it is and enjoy your life.

If anything, the doom-sayers and fear-mongers that preach the “Lonely Old Man” shit are projecting and nothing more. They are the one’s that are afraid of what will happen to them at the end of their lives. They are the one’s who can’t sleep at night, wondering who will be there to take care of them.

I’m not worried about it. I’ve got plans to live my life to it’s fullest.

I may be alone later in life, and even for periods of time right now, at the time of this writing, but I’m not lonely. I haven’t been lonely in a long time.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.