Author: Rob Says

A man who loves and likes women.

Why Is The Old Man Always On A Mountain?

Rob Says3 Comments

man standing on cliff

Because he can be.

You have read or heard a tale somewhere, at some time about a young man or woman (usually a man) seeking the knowledge from the town or village guru who happens to live in a cave near the summit of a mountain, or he lives on the summit itself.

Why does that grizzled, old, sometimes pleasant, sometimes nasty, guru of a guy always live on or near the top of a mountain? Because he can.

While I’m not “old” in the sense of what modern medicine and lifestyles of today can bring, I am old in other ways. I may not be collecting social security and facing mandatory retirement any time soon, but in many ways I’m definitely “old.”

I’m glad for it.

I’m glad I’m at where I’m at, at my age. I don’t envy the young men and women of today’s world, both in economic and in dating/relating terms. In many ways I feel sorry for the upcoming generations. I wouldn’t trade places with you even if I could. Too much horseshit and bullshit. If you guys don’t figure it out, you’re fucked. Straight up. And not in a good way.

But here’s the fun part:

You’ll figure it out. Or you won’t. But the more things change, the more they stay the same. I remember struggling to figure out women and I still don’t fully understand them, but I’ve learned to accept them, warts and all for who they are, and I appreciate them. If you are fortunate enough to live as long as I have, and granted 48 isn’t all that old, hopefully you get some perspective.

That’s what I think wisdom is mostly. It’s perspective. I’ve been around long enough to see certain trends come and go only to come back around yet again, only with a different hairstyle or a different cut of cloth. It’s still the same old same old though. Different packaging, same contents. Get rich and get da gurlz.

Snake-oil used to be sold on a table or in a booth out on the street with the salesman hawking his goods to you face to face. In my time, the snake-oil was sold via television “infomercials” and via direct mailings and catalogs. Nowadays it’s done via the internet and on social media. Different medium, same message. A lot easier today to reach more suckers than before, but the contents in the bottle are still mostly snake-oil, pipe dreams, and empty promises. It is what it is. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

person sitting on mountain cliff

Recently Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) has been making a comeback in the pickup circles. Yeah that was a thing back in 1995 when Ross Jefferies hit the scene with Speed Seduction. I remember that time frame. I still have the cassette course somewhere. The more things change the more they stay the same. It’s been roughly 25 years since Ross brought Speed Seduction to the world, the Mystery Method came out in the early 2000’s? I guess we still have a few more years before it’s “rediscovered” and repackaged with a whole new look and a whole new vocabulary, but I’m pretty sure that “neg’s” and “peacocking” will be in there somewhere. Maybe not under those names, but they’ll be there.

What has been refreshing for me though, is I have been reading through MJ’s blog about life as a middle-aged married man. I remember when I first started reading his blog a couple of years ago and he’s revamped it from that earlier time era. When I first found it, he was offering advice on how to make your marriage and/or relationship better if I recall correctly (and if I’m off, I apologize MJ) and now he’s simply talking about his own marriage, warts and all. It’s more a “day in the life of this here married guy,” and it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful because he’s in my age bracket. He could easily be me. It’s wonderful because he’s being honest and authentic, at least as far as I can tell. Most marriage and/or relationship advice that is on a more positive note is either coming from a “pre-1950’s model” where grandma and grandpa have been together since Christ was a journeyman carpenter, or it’s the sad unfortunate “divorce machine” that far too many guys have gone through, or it’s the young to mid twenty-something’s to early thirty somethings talking about being Power Dad’s and Mommy Bloggers with 31 flavors of TradCon and Religion to boot. Life hasn’t fully come around to kick them in the ass yet, but it will. Because the more things change, the more they stay the same.

person on mountain

MJ’s posts are authentic to me because when I read them, I know what he’s talking about. While I don’t have the years of marriage under my belt that he does, I can and do relate to what he is saying. It’s funny to me because I can take what he is saying and add it to my knowledge of what I already know based on my own successes and failures and it makes a pretty neat picture. MJ is definitely one of those guys that I would want to sit down and have a beer with. Two old men sitting on a mountain and talking shit. In this case though, MJ is far closer to a beach than a mountain, and I’ll take that any day of the week, for a variety of reasons.

The “Old Man on the Mountain” is there because he can be. He’s still close enough to civilization to come down once in a while and mingle with the masses, but he’s far enough away to keep away from all the noise and the chatter. And the smells. You fuckers need to shower more often than you do.

A lot of people have accused me of being cynical and negative, depressing even. That’s okay. If you ever got to meet me you would find that while yes, I can definitely be cynical, and that’s because of the shit I have seen and been through, at the same time I have come through it all as a better person as I have grown from all of it and I’m happier for it. I’m far more at peace with myself and with life in general than I was twenty five years ago.

I don’t have the patience or the time to be “fluffy” and blow sunshine up your ass because sometimes life just plain sucks and there’s nothing you can do about it but hang on and ride it out. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either naive or is trying to sell you something.

That’s wisdom for you. That’s perspective. And it didn’t cost you anything but the time it took to read this.

“Old Men On Mountains” just plain old don’t give a fuck. They did what their friends, families, jobs, and societies told them to do, and they probably did it for years. They’ve just realized that none of that shit truly matters and that time is short and so they might as well do the shit they always wanted to do and to hell with everyone else if they don’t like it.

See you on the mountain.

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Moment Of Clarity

Rob SaysLeave a comment

white and brown ceramic vase

A week or so ago, I did a Salt Lake Sit-Down show. It was “on the fly” and mostly “seat of the pants.” It went off really well considering that we were literally setting things up and testing them out, working out the bugs literally moments before it was time to go live.

Then I decided to drink. A lot. The alcohol really went to my head by the time it was time to go live on Masculine Geek. I only vaguely remember what I said for that first episode of the day, and the last time I’ve been that intoxicated, I blacked out. That was a long, long time ago when that one happened and blacking out hasn’t happened since. But that afternoon was a close second.

It was so bad that I remember muting the microphone for the majority of that episode because I honestly didn’t know what random bullshit was going to fall out of my mouth. That’s how intoxicated I was. I definitely didn’t want to be “that guy.”

The guy where it’s like you think you are being profound and “heavy.” That you think you’re dropping “serious truths,” and that everybody is watching and listening raptly, hanging on your every word.

Only to find out later once you’ve sobered up, everybody was quiet, but not for the reasons that you thought. They weren’t in awe with your profundity, they were shocked and made uncomfortable into an awkward silence. It wasn’t rapt attention, it was, “Oh my god, watch this slow moving trainwreck as it goes up in a ball of fire.”

I hate being made a fool of, especially when I’m the jackass doing it. I got to burn. I set myself on fire. Look at me go.

Now, was it as bad as I think and imagine it was? Honestly I don’t know. In a way, I don’t want to know. I’m still embarrassed at myself for losing it that bad.

I woke up the next day, fully sober and finally fully hydrated and with a clear mind. I’m done doing that shit. That doesn’t mean that I’m giving up booze and going on the wagon, but I’m not drinking to that level of excess again. You’re not 21 anymore Rob, get your shit together.

Besides being embarrassed at myself for my behavior that afternoon, I had another revelation. This is why I don’t hang out with people that do a bunch of drugs. Weed was never my thing and the majority of the people that I used to hang around with, when they would get stoned, they would think that whatever thought came to their drug altered minds was some profound, sacred truth.

The reality was a lot different.

It was more like, “Dude, you’re high and you aren’t making any sense whatsoever. You need to shut up.”

And babysitting.

At least people doing weed were generally happy-go-lucky compared to someone who gets drunk and you don’t know what you’re going to get with that. Happy drunk? Sad drunk? Angry drunk? Pick a fight with the biggest guy in the room drunk? Puke on your shoes drunk? Suicidal drunk? Keep an eye on them so that they don’t pass out and choke to death on their own vomit drunk? I’ve been around all of these type of drunks. I’m too old for that shit. At least I’m usually a happy or quiet drunk when I get there, my anger is gone for the most part.

So I’m still going to enjoy my booze, but I’m not getting hammered and going live with it anymore. I want to put out a good quality show with good quality content, not a frat party “look at me getting drunk and making an ass of myself” show.

Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt.

I’m still going to entertain and have a bunch of laughs and hopefully make others laugh and forget their bullshit for the time that they are watching my shows or videos. Hopefully besides just the pure entertainment side of it, hopefully they get more from what I’ll be saying as well. Hopefully it will be something that they’ll be able to take home with them and put it into their own lives and get something positive out of it.

So that’s it.

To anyone including Vince, TJ, and Aaron, that watched and thought, “Oh my god..WTF? It’s a trainwreck.” I offer my sincerest apologies. You all deserve better than that from me. I’m sorry if I disappointed or let any of you down. Most of all though, I let myself down. I’m done doing that.

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So You Want To Do A Live Show? Part 2

Rob SaysLeave a comment

selective focus photography of gray stainless steel condenser microphone

I covered a few things in an earlier post, but more things came up recently that I’m going to go over here.

I’ve been doing my YouTube channel for about two years now. As of this writing, I’ve done approximately 153 videos and live streams on my own channel. I’ve also done approximately 148 (and counting!) videos and/or live streams on other people’s channels. I’ve done almost as many videos and shows with other people on their channels as I have done my own videos and shows on my own channel.

Here’s some things I have learned along the way and mind you, your experience and mileage may vary with what I have to say:

  1. Be a good host when hosting your own show. Ask your guest(s) beforehand what is okay to talk about and what isn’t. You would be surprised with what is acceptable and what isn’t. It’s a no-brainer, but if they don’t want to talk about something, for whatever reason, don’t go there. Same applies when you are a guest. If there is something you would rather not talk about, bring it up with your host(s) before the show begins.
  2. Be a good guest on your host’s show. Most likely, if you’re “doing it right,” the host approached you and asked you to be on their show. When people approach me to be on their show(s) whether it’s a one time/one shot deal, or if I’m asked to return on a semi-regular basis, or even to become a co-host with somebody, I always try to keep in mind that it is their channel, it is their show. Personally, I want to be the best guest I can be for them. I want them to have enjoyed having me on their show and if they so desire, it would be great to have another opportunity to be on their show again. Their show is about them, even when I’m the guest.
  3. Do the work. Yeah, you’ve heard guys saying this one all the time, but when it comes to having guests, I normally like to know what I’m getting myself into. Do you have content I can check out? Do you have a channel of your own? Have you been on other shows that I can watch you in and see how you interact with others? When I first started my channel, nobody wanted to have me on and that’s because nobody knew me. I had no content, no presence, no nothing. Why would anyone really want to take a chance on me? So I created content. A lot of content. Not because I was hoping to get on a show, but because I liked doing it. I would still be doing it right now, even if nobody ever asked me to be on their shows. But I have content. I have videos that anyone can go and check out and then they have a good idea of what they are getting themselves into if they decide to have me on their show. They know I swear. A lot. If that’s an issue (see #2) I’ll tone it down to the best of my ability. Some guys have zero issue with me swearing and I’m free to “let it all hang out.” Sometimes they would prefer I take it down a notch or two and so I try and accomodate them. I’m on their show right? Their show, their rules. While I’m at it, research your host(s)/guest(s). See who they’ve been on with in the past. What was good about them together? What was their dynamic? What can you take from their interactions and use for yours at a later date and time? Remember, some shows are very loose, relaxed, and fluid. Others are more structured.
  4. Have a good resolution camera, a solid internet connection, a good microphone, and ideally a good background. (See my prior post for more information.) You want your potential host and/or guest to take you seriously? You need to take them and yourself seriously in turn. At least when it comes to gear and etiquette.
  5. If you want to remain anonymous and not show your face, that is fine. However, you better know your topics and you better bring something more to the table. Most people when they watch a live stream want to see your face. They want to see you laughing, rolling your eyes, you rubbing the bridge of your nose, or drinking a beer. In short, they want to connect with you. It’s hard to do that with only a voice and an avatar to go off of. In all the time I’ve been doing and being a part of shows, there’s only been two guys who can truly pull the anonymous thing off brilliantly. That’s Carl from BlackLabelLogic, and Tim Keefe. Unless you can talk about things like they do, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Not saying it isn’t possible, but doing the anonymous thing is a handicap, so keep it in mind.

Now that I’ve covered some essential “do’s” let’s cover a couple of essential “don’ts.”

  1. Don’t ask or beg to be on a show. Showing up in the chat and publicly asking to be brought on looks needy and desperate. Same goes with private messaging that person about being on their show. If they want to have you on, they’ll ask you. If they don’t ask you, it’s not always personal. It may not be about you. Maybe they have certain topics or guests that they want to have on and having you on at the same time would be disrespectful to the other guest(s) or a conflict of interest. Maybe you don’t know enough about the topic in question. Then again, maybe you haven’t done enough work. I’m not trying to brag or flex, but I’ve never asked anyone publicly or privately to be on their shows. They’ve all reached out to me. I figured if they wanted to have me on, they’ll reach out to me and eventually they did. But I never asked them first.
  2. Don’t become “overly familiar” with a guest or a host. You were asked to be on a show? Great! You follow each other on social media? Fantastic! That doesn’t necessarily make you best friends, and that doesn’t give you carte blanche for their attention. Guys that I’ve met in real life, guys I’ve sat down with, broke bread with, and had drinks with in the real world? They’ve got “time in.” They did the work, they did the “heavy lifting” with me. They’ve proven themselves to me. Those guys could ask a lot from me and I would most likely do it. The thing is, those guys wouldn’t ask me to do something that they could do themselves.  Unless I’ve met you personally, or had you on a show with me multiple times, or I’ve been on your show with you multiple times, dude, I don’t know you. I’m not your personal messenger or your personal errand boy, and I’m not your personal army. You want to get in touch with someone that I know? Do the work and reach out to them yourself. I’m not here to pass notes along like we are in third grade. We’re all adults now, so put on your “big boy panties” and do the work and reach out yourself if you are looking for their attention. Don’t drag me into whatever it is that you are hoping to do. It’s off-putting. Don’t get me wrong, I may like you and think you are okay, but don’t assume we are “besties” because we ain’t. Just do the work. “Put the time in.”

So there you have it. Try these things out and see how they work for you. and if you’re doing the things that are “don’ts,” you should probably stop doing those. If you are in this for more than just a laugh, realize that it takes time, lots of work, lots of content, and it probably won’t happen “overnight.”

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