Author: Rob Says

A man who loves and likes women.

The “Black Pill”

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Apparently while I’ve been doing other things, MGTOW and “Incels” have become a thing again in the ‘Sphere.

I don’t really understand people’s fascination with either group, they hold very little interest for me. Like Darth Vader said, “Asteroids (MGTOW’s and Incels) do not concern me, Admiral.”

They don’t concern me because I’m not one of them. I don’t have a problem with meeting and attracting women and getting laid and women don’t leave a foul taste in my mouth, so I really have nothing in common with them.

So what are my thoughts about both groups? I don’t think about them at all. Unless you find yourself in one of these groups, for whatever reason, you shouldn’t concern yourself with them either. Life is too short to worry about them.

Speaking of life, life is absurd. If you haven’t already figured it out by now, I’m an atheist. I don’t make a big deal about it because there’s nothing to make a big deal about. You believe in whatever you want to believe in and I’ll believe what I believe and we’ll call it good.

Life is absurd because for me, there is no afterlife. There is no heaven or hell but what we make here. There is no punishment or reward for a life well-lived (well-behaved) in the here-after. That makes things really easy for me. Since there is no afterlife, I might as well enjoy the life here that I have for as long as I’m alive.

Where life gets absurd is when you ask the question, “What is the meaning of life?” The answer to that question, for me, is very simple. It’s this:

The meaning of life is whatever you make of it.

That’s where things can get absurd. We want there to be “more” to it, but it’s really that simple. It’s absurd because there is no meaning to life inherently. So you could say, “To hell with it. I’ll just kill myself.”

To which I’ll say, “Yes you could. If that is what you choose. No one is stopping you and no one can stop you if you are serious about ending your life.”

Life is absurd but it isn’t a tragedy. I’m quoting Chest “Chesty” Rockwell from Twitter on this one. Life just is. What you think about it or what you believe about it is where you get to say it’s either good, bad, or otherwise. I believe it was Shakespeare who said, “There is no good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Life is no different. Life just is. And life goes on. With or without you. Life itself is indifferent to you and me. It’s indifferent to all of us.

So you can choose to be unhappy, depressed, cynical, and angry about it. Or you can choose to look at it in a different way. Either way, life is indifferent.

“Life is beautiful and outside there is no salvation.” – Albert Camus

Life is hard sometimes. Life can be a struggle. You will find yourself dealing with loss and setbacks. You’ll find yourself not always getting the things you want. That’s life. Life wasn’t meant to be about you getting everything to your heart’s desire. It doesn’t work that way. Learn to deal with that and live with it, or don’t. Either way life is indifferent and nobody gives a shit.

Taking the “Black Pill” is choosing to look at life and say fuck it. “The juice isn’t worth the squeeze,” and all of that stuff. It’s about giving up. It’s about quitting. Want to quit? That’s fine by me, because I don’t give a shit. I have my own problems, just like you do. I have my own shit to deal with, let alone yours. You aren’t my responsibility, just like I’m not yours.

I wrote about a woman that I had a relationship with back when I was eighteen. When that relationship ended, I seriously considered putting the business end of a shotgun in my mouth and pulling the trigger. If I had done that I wouldn’t be here today. I would have been dead at 21.

I look back at those 27 years gone by and I’m blown away by the things I have done, the people I have met and the friendships I have made. The women that I have loved and they loved me back. As of this writing almost all of those relationships with those women have ended in one way or another. Sometimes I chose to end them, in other cases, they chose to end it. Some relationships ended about as well as a relationship could end, some of them ended in near disaster with a lot of hurt feelings and bruised egos on both sides.

If I had ended my life back then, none of the beauty and hardship of life that I have experienced would have happened. And I would still be dead.

I ran into that ex-girlfriend from way back when a few years ago. When I first noticed her, it took her a minute to remember who I was. That’s how little our relationship meant to her I guess. Apparently I wasn’t even a blip on her radar. Once she remembered who I was, we talked and had a few laughs strolling down memory lane. I think back to when I was that 21 year old kid ready and willing to kill himself over this girl who had turned into a woman after 20+ years.

What happened in her life from after we broke up and then met again 20+ years later? She got fat. She has been married and divorced twice. She has a teenage son from one of the husband’s. She has buried her own mother a year or so before we ran into each other. She has been a part of a business that had success and had also failed and went into bankruptcy.

She got over me and moved on with her life way before I had moved on from her. What would have happened if I had killed myself? She would have probably done the exact same thing that she did, the only difference is that she might have mourned me for a minute before moving on. I would still be dead. I don’t say this with any bitterness or anger, it’s just the truth.

When my mother died back in September of 2018, my father and I did the thing where you stand in line by the casket and you shake people’s hands and hug them and listen to them say what they have to say. Everyone said, “I’m so sorry for your loss. She was a great woman. If you need anything, call me.” And after they shook hands and gave hugs, they went about their day. Life went on for them and they didn’t miss a beat.

Same thing happened a couple of months ago when the last of my father’s best friends died. I went to the funeral, shook hands, gave hugs, said what a great guy he had been, and when I left, I told my Dad that I was sorry that his last best friend had died. Then I went on with my life. My Dad nodded and went on with his life too. Life goes on.

My ex-wife threatened to kill herself when I told her I wanted a divorce back in 2014. She didn’t really want to kill herself, she just didn’t want me to leave. But I was leaving no matter what. This was the second time that I had seriously considered putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger. I was either going to kill myself or I was going to get divorced. One way or another, I was getting out. I didn’t kill myself and neither did my ex. What if she had though? I would have mourned her for a bit and I would have moved on with my life.

I remember telling her, “I don’t want you to kill yourself, but if that’s what you want to do, you’ll find a way to do it. All I ask is that if you are serious about doing it, don’t do it in my house, I don’t want to have to come home and clean that shit up.”

Pretty cold-blooded, I know. But it’s true. If someone wants to kill themselves bad enough, nothing will stop them and they will find a way. I know this because I know people who have killed themselves. Nothing was going to stop them and so they did. Otherwise it’s a cry for attention and it’s manipulation at its finest.

Every time I’ve stared down the barrel of a gun and considered ending my life, I ended up not doing it. I got help if that was what was warranted. I changed up the situation if that was what was needed. I did whatever it took.

And life got better. Every. Single. Time.

Life is what it is and life is indifferent to you and your struggles. And nobody gives a shit.

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The choice is always yours.

We all face the “Black Pill” at one point in our lives or another. It’s up to you to decide what you want to do about it. Life is beautiful and it is short. It’s far shorter than you and I both can imagine. Do you want to make it meaningful for you? Or do you want to mope around about it? Either way, nobody gives a shit and life goes on.

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Good Intentions

Rob Says1 Comment

silhouette image of person praying

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. – Unknown

Several years ago in a prior life at a prior job, I had a co-worker who recommended a film to me. The title of that film escapes me now, but I do remember watching it, and it was terrible. It was so bad that I wanted the two hours of my life back. I remember that same co-worker asking me if I had seen the film and when I said yes, I remember them looking delighted and then offering another suggestion of something to watch. I had already seen this particular film, and it was another film that I wanted my two hours back from.

The point I’m getting at here is:

Be careful who you listen to. We all want to listen to our loved ones and our friends. We all want to listen to those people that we have a vested interest in. It’s hard not to. I even think to some degree we may be hard-wired to do this.

All of your friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and even guys on the internet probably have good intentions. Not all, but I would say most have good intentions.

Like the quote at the beginning of this article though, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

“Crabs in a bucket” is one way to look at it. It’s easy to see the crabs in the bucket when you don’t have a vested interest in the person. That co-worker that you only interact with while you are at work comes to mind and is an easy example. But what about the people you care about? Your family and your close friends? It’s harder to see that “crabs in the bucket” mentality when you are dealing with them on a daily basis or you live with them.

This isn’t anything new by any means, but the reason I bring it up is because of some recent developments in my life with people that I am close to. I’m having to reassess my involvement with certain people because of what direction they are going and what they choose to focus on. There are things that I used to believe in that I don’t anymore because they no longer serve me. Those beliefs served their purpose at the time, but now I’ve moved on. I’ve been trying to get those people close to me to move on as well, but they don’t want to yet. They aren’t ready, and that’s okay. This is where we part ways.

We tend to believe in the same things that other people that are close to us believe in. We tend to have the same points of view and that’s normal. When you change your point of view or when you change what you believe and they don’t, that’s when it’s time to reassess the situation. Sometimes it isn’t that we no longer believe in something, because we still do, it’s just that that “thing” is no longer a priority for us, while it is still a priority for the other person.

I watch guys get “stuck” in the “red pill rage phase” and I totally understand where they are because I’ve been there. The thing is, I’m not there anymore and haven’t been there for a while. I want to move on to other things and so I create a bit of distance in order to do that. When I talk to some of these people that I call friends or acquaintances though, I see they are still stuck where they are and it’s disappointing and sad. At the end of the day though, it’s where they choose to be. I just can’t be there with them anymore.

Be careful who you listen to because you can get “sucked back in.” It’s really easy when that’s where you came from or where you started. It’s easy to get caught up in old routines, old ways, and old habits. It’s easy to get caught up in outrage again. Corporations bashing on men aren’t hitting the buttons anymore? No problem, we have Karen. Karen isn’t doing it anymore? No problem, we have “LooksMax.” That isn’t doing it anymore? We have… You get the idea. Outrage is easy to manufacture. If it isn’t one thing, it’s something else.

Everybody has their “hot button.” Their “thing” that sets them off and gets them going. You and I are no different. I know what my buttons are and I keep a close eye on them because I know what will “set me off.” I do this because I know how easy it is to fall back into old patterns and habits. It’s easy to fall back on outrage and do nothing. It’s easy to get pissed off and angry. It’s much harder to do something, anything else. That’s what I want to do though, something else.

So that’s what I’m going to do. Time to say goodbye for now to some people, and it’s time to say goodbye period, to others.

Be careful who you listen to and who you spend time with. Your time is your most precious commodity and you can never get it back.

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Becoming A Content Creator

Rob Says3 Comments
blue and purple sky with stars
This photo has nothing to do with this article. I just thought it was cool.

I went to sleep at midnight this last Friday night/Saturday morning and I woke up at 8:30. 8 and 1/2 hours of straight, continuous sleep. You would think that I would have woken up refreshed right?

I woke up exhausted.

I seldom remember my dreams, but I remember that night. I dreamt of work. Being on the truck, watching the bins go up on the claw and up the rail only to tip over and dump their contents into the shredder. Rinse and repeat, over and over.

And then I was dreaming that I was dreaming and that the alarm clock was going to go off soon and I would have to get up and go back to work. That was the worst part of the dream. I really thought in my dream that I had to get up and go to work. It created a sinking sensation in my stomach that almost woke me up.

It woke me up enough to realize that I had been dreaming, and that today was not a work day, today was Saturday. The sense of relief was so overwhelming that I almost cried. Later, I had yet another dream, and in this dream I dreamt that I rode somewhere on my motorcycle and when I came back to my bike, someone had stolen the saddlebags, the highway pegs, the seat, and the gas tank of all things. I’m telling you, I can’t get no relief.

Moving along now…

Tim Keefe has asked me if he could write some things and post them on my blog, as he figures that many of my readers would find what he has to say of interest. I agree with him and so he’ll be posting some of his writings on my blog as well as me posting my usual nonsense to you guys.

When I wrote Why You Shouldn’t Care About Karen, I gave not only that article a lot of thought, but I’ve been thinking about things in general that are also applicable to that article.

I’ve been a “content creator” (I hate that term) for over two years now. Some of the things that I’ve realized as time has gone by is that I don’t have nearly enough time to be a “content consumer.” With all of the different projects that I’ve been working on and all of the different things that I have been involved with, I don’t have the time to sit down and watch many other “content creators.” I don’t have the time to “consume” like I did years ago.

That’s mostly a good thing by the way. What little content I do consume has been thoroughly filtered for me by me. Am I getting something from it other than a dopamine hit? Am I learning how to do something? Am I learning a new skill or honing one that I already have? Then I’ll make the time to watch or read that type of content. If it’s just outrage or the same old, same old that I’ve already seen or read, I skip it and move on. My life and my time are too short.

Do you want to become a content creator? Here’s something that I’ve learned that may or may not help you out:

What do you want to do? Lots of guys hand out advice about finding specific niches and focusing on them. That’s solid safe advice, especially if you are looking to monetize and sell things. But what happens if you burn out, the niche runs its course, or you find you want to do something else? Now you have to create another channel on YouTube, or you have to buy another domain name and start another website. Nothing wrong with that if that is your thing, and if it is, by all means, do that. But what if you don’t want to “start over” again? What then?

That’s why I chose the domain RobSays.net. It’s about me talking about me. I can talk about things “red pill,” I can talk about things related to motorcycling, and I can talk about things related to editing and creating videos. I can cover it all if I want and I don’t have to keep making websites and starting over.

It probably isn’t a good way to monetize and sell things, but then again, I don’t care about monetizing and selling things. I create the content that I like and that I want. Since I’m not trying to monetize or sell things, I don’t need to keep an eye on the competition and see what they are doing.

There are plenty of guys trying to cash in on the “red pill” right now. Lots of YouTube channels that are all saying the same things and regurgitating the top guys. Almost all of them are doing outrage porn. It’s become saturated and boring. Different guys, different camera angles, different quality, same message. The top guys have it covered, I’ll just stick with them and honestly I don’t even watch a lot of what they have to say anymore because I’ve already heard them say it before. I guess this is what is called “Life After The Red Pill.”

I think when you decide to become a content creator, it’s ideally because you aren’t finding other people doing the stuff that you want to see, hear, and/or read. So you start making it yourself. I know I take great satisfaction in the videos and the blog posts I have made, even if I never watch or read them again, and in all honesty, I almost never do watch my videos or read my blog posts after they are published. I know what I said or wrote, why do I want to revisit it yet again? Also, my inner critic will come out and start pointing out the flaws and the mistakes and then I’ll want to revise and remake whatever it was, so that I can get it “perfect.” And we all know what happens when that happens…

Recently I’ve unsubscribed to a lot of channels on YouTube and same with a bunch of blogs that I used to read. I don’t have the time or the interest anymore, so it’s time that I move on from them. Some of the channels and blogs I have followed for years, others for a shorter period of time, but either way, it’s time to move on.

Whatever you want to do, do it authentically. I guess you can authentically regurgitate your favorite guru and rip him off, but can you really? Don’t bother answering that question, it’s rhetorical. I guess you can authentically talk about the latest outrage, but keep in mind that other guys have probably beaten you to it already and you’ll just be another channel or another blog talking about the same outrage as everybody else. Outrage gets tiresome after awhile and from guys I’ve been interacting with, they are looking for something different now. They are getting tired of the outrage as well. I guess we have all hit the stage of “Life After The Red Pill.”

Whatever you do, do it your way, in your style, with your own voice. That’s authentic.

So if you want to become a content creator, start there. Start with “What do you want to do?” Start with something that you would like to see or read, or hear and you aren’t finding it anywhere else and then create that. And be authentic with it. Show who you are in your way of creating and presenting your content.

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