I have seen several “PUA” guys over the last couple of years go from getting the “+1” to deciding it wasn’t sustainable and eventually moving on to “settling down” with one woman. “Mystery” from the “Mystery Method” comes to mind. But there are several others of less notable reputation that I follow that are doing the same.
Guys in their 30’s and early 40’s.
All I can think is, “What the fuck?”
I’m closer to 51 than I am 50 now, as of this writing. I have no intentions of “settling down” again. I already did it when I was in my mid to late 30’s into my early 40’s. I was married and then I got divorced. I have had “LTR’s” (Long Term Relationships for those of you that don’t know the acronyms) and I have “played house.” Been there, done that. Don’t think I’ll be doing that any time in the near or far future again.
I wonder if the “PUA” guys have truly embraced their lifestyle. Have they truly embraced being a Hedonist? I don’t know, because I don’t know them personally, but I don’t think they have. I can’t imagine “settling down” again. I realize that there’s not a single woman on this planet who will “be everything for me.” It could be something huge like, fellatio. Or it could be something as simple as eating seafood.
Now mind you, I’m fully aware that she doesn’t “complete me.” I’m not looking for my “partner in crime, my soulmate, or my other half.” Looking outward for that is an exercise in futility. All of those things come from within.
But why should I compromise the things, the little things, the simple things that give me pleasure?
The short answer is I won’t.
I have already “compromised” and gave up the little pleasures in the past. Even something as small and easy as shellfish. I won’t do it again. Life is too short to give up on the little things. And at the end of the day, everything is the little things.
Will I be throwing “the baby out with the bathwater?” Possibly, but I don’t think so. That’s why I don’t want to date or have relationships with just one woman.
“Velvet,” whom I met about a month ago had some great questions for me:
“Do you compare the women you are seeing?”
Why would I do that? That’s apples to oranges. While AWALT is a real thing, at the same time, every woman I meet and end up seeing/dating/fucking brings their own unique perspectives and personalities to the table. Why would I compare them? If I did, I would cheating myself out of some great experiences and memories. I would be “throwing the baby out with the bathwater” on this one. So no, I don’t compare them.
“Do you hold back?”
No. I’m all in. I did the “hold back thing” years ago. Basically I was masturbating with another person’s body. I held back so that I didn’t “get hurt.” In the end, I was numb. And it sucked. It sucked more than the pain of heartache and heartbreak when a woman tells you that she has to move on. Or you tell her that you have to move on. So no, I don’t “hold back.” I’m all in. It can be tumultuous and it can hurt like hell, but it’s better than being numb by a long shot.
“Do you think you’ll change your mind about what you are doing?” (Seeing multiple people at the same time)
I’m open to it, but I don’t think I will. I like it. It has its drawbacks and there is some level of pain in it, but I can live with that. That’s the price of admission. The pros outweigh the cons for me. And, there’s always another woman.
So, is this “sustainable?” I don’t know honestly. So far it’s sustainable for me and I’m closer to 51 than not. I have no plans on changing my plans or my lifestyle any time soon.
It all comes back to a question that I asked a while ago:
What do you want, indeed? Most guys are terrified of their own shadows, let alone going after what they actually want. God forbid, it doesn’t work out the way you thought it would. God forbid, you suffer and experience some pain. God forbid.
Then again, when you truly “let go” and see what happens, that’s when you find that the world is yours. But you have to let go and go “down that rabbit hole.”
“I am Legion, for I am Many. I go by many names. Player is but one. But that sounds so… Negative. So, deceptive and heartless. I would rather you call me…. Lover.”
Hear me out, Dear Reader. That conversation above happened when I met “Velvet,” a few weeks ago. Does it sound like a Larp? Sure it does. Do I buy my own bullshit? Up to a point, yes I do. Why? Because it works for me. It gets me results, and women love a bit of “woo-woo” bullshit. They love something melodramatic and “larger than life.” And to be honest, so do I. It’s one of the reasons that I love Star Wars. It’s one of the reasons that I realized that I’m inherently a performer. I love to entertain and be entertained.
I could be nothing but “just the facts, ma’am.” But that’s just boring. I’ve done the “cold Terminator thing.” It sucks. I might as well be the incubus. I might as well be the Devil. I might as well be the Villain. I might as well be the Seducer. I might as well be the Rake. I might as well be the Lover. I am Legion, for I am Many.
Getting caught up in statistics and jargon. Why? Statistics are just that. They are just numbers. Who cares? Never tell me the odds. And jargon? Please. You know what it sounds like when I hear someone throw jargon at me? Like someone who is unattractive. That’s what I hear.
Where is your sense of wonder and adventure? Are you too busy trying to “Save the West?” Okay, Atlas. How’s that working out for you?
If you “buy your own bullshit” just enough, guess what? She will too. She knows it’s bullshit, but she’ll buy it. Why? Because it’s fun and different. Look at cult leaders. Those are people who bought their own bullshit and took it seriously. Look at the people who buy that bullshit and go along for the ride. Look at the things they are willing to do for someone who buys into their own bullshit.
So why not be Legion? Why not be Many? Why not be different, exciting, maybe a little dangerous? Why not buy your bullshit, just for a moment?
When I told “Velvet” that “Legion” line, it was spur of the moment. I didn’t have it planned out or scripted in my head. It’s what fell out of my mouth when she asked me what she asked me. I looked her straight in the eye, smirked just a tiny bit, and said it. I didn’t care if she “bought it” or not. It’s just what I felt like saying.
She “bought it.”
Most guys try to blend in and diminish their presence. What would happen if you didn’t? What if you saw yourself as “Larger Than Life?” What if you stood up and became “Legion?” Beats being just another “average dude.”
Instead of worrying about statistics, “magic formulas,” and jargon, what if you just decided to think better of yourselves and saw yourselves as something more than “just a dude.” What if you “bought your own bullshit” just for that moment? What do you think might happen?
What if you got outside of yourselves and got over yourselves and just decided to have fun?
Cyndi Lauper said it a long time ago: “Girls Just Want To Have Fun.” She wasn’t wrong. Do you want to be the “fun guy?” Or would you rather be the “brooding, serious, stoic, alpha male guy?”
I can tell you I have had more and better interactions with women when I chose to be the “fun guy.”
Lighten up and live a little. No one here gets out alive and you only get one shot at living. Might as well have some fun and enjoy it. Spin some of your own bullshit and see what happens.
A lot of the “PUA” guys have been having all sorts of discussions on Twitter lately, and usually I like that.
“Guy’s swapping notes.” But lately it’s been shit like what you are seeing above.
The difference between the Mystery Method and the London Daygame Model (LDM). All the jargon. Neg’s, sets, IOI’s, and of course, theories, such as the r/K theory. None of that shit matters.
Back to Rule Zero: @RuleZeroDad aka Chest Rockwell said it and I’m most likely going to murder it, but here goes:
Did it get you laid or not? Do you want to get laid or not? (Sorry Chest if I fucked this one up.)
That’s how I look at it at least, did it get me laid or not? If yes, do it again. If no, then modify it until it gets you laid or throw it out and try something else.
I realize that everyone has to start somewhere. You can’t run before you learn to walk, or in some cases, until you crawl. That’s why I cropped out and modified names that were mentioned in the above pictures. I don’t want to dissuade anyone from wanting to learn “Game” in order to get laid. I’m not trying to shit on anyone, I’m really not, but it’s shit like the above that I have learned is an absolute time waster.
At the same time, the author of those tweets missed the point entirely. He claims he’s “intermediate on the cusp of advanced daygame.” Dude, no you are not. You are jacking off into socks if you are worried about r/K theory. r/K theory isn’t stopping you from getting laid. You are stopping you from getting laid. You aren’t “intermediate on the cusp to advanced” of anything except maybe LARPing.
I’m not a PUA, never claimed I was, and I fully understand what r/K theory is. When you are face-to-face with a woman, none of that shit matters. It doesn’t matter if she’s “r selecting” or “K selecting.” Is she there in front of you? Yes? Good. She’s interested. Don’t fuck it up and step on your own dick with r/K theory and trying to read her mind.
Where this guy is fucking up is he hasn’t built enough comfort yet. He hasn’t demonstrated that he won’t murder her, rape her, stalk her, or wear her as a skin suit. Or he’s coming off as a douchebag who just wants to stick his meat in a warm hole, any hole for that matter. He’s either acting desperate or creepy, or he’s objectifying her before he acknowledges that she’s a human being and a woman. If he showed her that he’s “sane” he wouldn’t be getting nearly the resistance that he’s been getting. That’s my two cents based off of the above tweets.
Here’s something I’ve learned from meeting a lot of women over the last few years:
Women don’t want to get raped, murdered, stalked, or turned into a skin suit. They don’t want to meet up, date, or fuck creeps, weirdos, or douchebags. So don’t exhibit any behaviors that show any of those traits. Be attractive, don’t be unattractive.
Be “cool.” Be “confident.” Be the guy who “gets it.” Most importantly, be the guy who is SANE.
I don’t do a lot of street approaches or bar approaches. Most of the women I have met, I met online. If she matches with me I start off polite. I treat her like a human being. I treat her like a woman. She knows I want to fuck her, all the guys she’s talking to or dealing with want to fuck her, that’s old news. But most guys come off either creepy/thirsty/weird/desperate. Or they come off as arrogant douchebags who only want to come in a wet hole. I treat her like a human being. I don’t bring up sex unless she brings it up, and if or when she brings it up, I always dial it back a notch from her level.
The Tao of Steve comes to mind once again:
Be Desireless. (There’s always another woman. If this one won’t, another one will.) I enter every engagement with a woman with this “mindset.” If she’s not interested in me, or maybe she was and then changes her mind, no big deal, there’s always another woman.)
Be Excellent. I’m polite. I know how to use humor. (It’s my greatest weapon in my “arsenal.” I don’t “neg” too much and when I do, it’s always gently.) I type in full sentences and I know a little bit about a lot of things. It shows her that I’m intelligent and I stay current with things going on around me.
Be Gone. I keep the texts relatively short.
I do this as well when I’m in-person. I don’t care if she stays or goes, I continue my teasing, bantering, and flirting. I keep doing the “excellent thing.” I keep the initial meet up short, unless she wants to come home with me.
I have a belief that if I can get her off the couch, out of the house, and get her in front of me, her ass is mine. More often than not, that ends up being the case.
Believe it or not guys, most women lead pretty boring lives. They work, maybe raise children, sometimes hang out with friends or family, and they sit on their couches or lie in their beds, watching Netflix. Don’t let Instagram fool you.
If I can get her out of the house, she’s already somewhat interested and invested. The whole, “A body in motion tends to stay in motion, and a body at rest tends to stay at rest” is applicable here. She’s already showing me interest and some investment because she fucking showed up.
From there, I move to the next “step,” which is she either asks me “what I’m looking for”, or I ask her.
Understand this: I don’t care what she’s looking for. And if I ask her, she has no idea what she’s looking for, not really. She’ll give me her “Christmas list,” which you are all too familiar with, I’m sure. What I am doing is creating the opportunity to give my “pitch.” I’m “putting my dick on the table.” I’m offering her an Invitation, and nothing more. She can either accept my Invitation or reject it. I will have an answer from her, one way or another, within about a minute of me making my offer.
If she rejects my offer, I tell her: “That’s too bad. We could have had a lot of fun, but I understand. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Thank you for meeting up with me and thank you for your time. I hope you find what you are looking for.” I mean all of it. I’m not angry, butthurt, mad, or sad. A little disappointed maybe, but that’s about it. Because there is always another woman. And then I say my goodbyes and I leave.
If she accepts, then we both move forward from there. She knows where I stand, she has an idea of what is in store for her, and we carry on.
Going back to what I said earlier about everyone has to start somewhere:
I get it. I had to start somewhere too. Jargon, lingo, and theories aren’t it. Worrying about which model of “pickup” is the “best” or most appropriate isn’t the answer. That’s just jacking off into socks. Do whatever works.
The “number close,” the “kiss close,” the “dry humping her leg while I run my hand over the top of her bra close” aren’t goals. They are just “markers” or “guideposts,” and nothing more.
Guys have waged debates over getting or giving the phone number. I say do whatever works with that given woman in that given situation. Sometimes I gave them my number, sometimes I asked for their number, sometimes they gave me their number unsolicited. That’s not a goal. That’s just a marker.
What I care about are only two things:
Does she show up?
Do I get laid?
That’s it.
The only “marker” or “guidepost” that I’m curious about is the kiss. I want to kiss her on the first meet up and so I make that happen. Why do I do that?
Because it tells me if she’s interested in me or not. And it tells me what kind of a kisser she is. Kissing is important to me. I don’t want a peck on the cheek, but I don’t want her to lick me like a dog either. If the kiss falls “flat,” or it feels like I’m kissing a relative, I know she’s not that into me. If she licks me like a dog or slobbers all over me, she may be either inexperienced, or she’s a loose cannon. Or maybe she’s desperate. I don’t know and I don’t care. I can’t read her mind and I’m not going to speculate. It just doesn’t work for me. I want slow, sensual, and passionate. That matters more to me than how she fucks. “Average” sex can be compensated by great kissing, at least to me. But you guys do you, fill your boots.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it yet again:
What do you want?
Do you want to get caught up with jacking off into socks on the internet with “models, theories, and jargon?” Or do you want to meet up with a woman and get laid? Narrow it down. Cut the wheat from the chaff. Stop making shit more complicated than it needs to be. Filter out the noise. Don’t get caught up in the minutiae and the details. Decide for yourselves what matters and what you want.
As a last note about the above screenshots:
If they guy who wrote them was paying another man to “teach” him and this is what he got in return? I would want a refund. It’s all bullshit and it doesn’t matter.
And on a final note:
Here’s “Rob’s Model of Picking Up Women:”
I’m Desireless. There’s always another woman.
We “match” if online, or we have a short conversation if I meet her in real life.
I treat her like a woman and a human being.
I’m Excellent. I show her by how I communicate that I know a little about a lot of things. I inject humor where I can. I tease her lightly. I build comfort and show her that I’m not creepy, weird, a murderer, or a douchebag. I know how to talk. I’m “socially fluent.”
I “make my pitch.” I “put my dick on the table.” I offer her my Invitation. She either accepts it or not. Either way is fine by me. I don’t make apologies about who I am or what I want. I don’t “hide my dick.” I’m honest about it. I have no shame or guilt about it.
I’m Gone. She’s either coming with me, or I’m moving on to the next woman.
That’s it in a nutshell. That’s the Tao of Steve.
Nowhere in there is r/K theory, Mystery Method, LDM, “Red Pill,” “PUA” of any “level,” or jargon. Nowhere in there is “looks maxxing,” “wealth maxxing,” or whatever other bullshit you have filling your head. All of that shit makes you look creepy, weird, possibly a murderer, or at least, a douchebag.
I get it. We all start somewhere. I did too. I did all of that shit that was screenshotted, and more. None of that shit matters. All that matters is, did she meet up with you, face to face? Did you get laid?
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