10 Years From Now

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This is a follow up post to this post, right here.

My side job is reading Tarot cards for fun and profit. Most of my clients are women with a handful of men. Almost all of them want to know what’s going to happen in their futures. I don’t need to read cards, a crystal ball, or any other thing that is “woo-woo” to tell you your future.

What are you doing right now? (Besides reading this blog post.) What were you doing an hour ago? A day ago? A week ago? A month ago? A year ago? 5 years ago? 10 years ago?

Whatever you have been doing, that’s most likely what you are going to be doing in the future. That’s most likely what you are going to be doing in 10 years from now. Have you been living moment to moment, not thinking about your future? I’ve done it. It got me into a place that I didn’t want to be in. Overweight, unhappy, miserable, health on the verge of falling apart, eating junk food. That was me 10 years ago. A marriage that I settled for. A job I settled for. Real mediocre, real bland, real boring.

I woke up a couple years back because I could see my future. And it was more of the fucking same. I was going to keep on gaining weight, I was going to keep on eating the junk, I was going to still be “stuck” in a miserable marriage that was slowing killing me day by day, both emotionally and financially. I could see the ship sinking. I could see that there was no way to “save it.” My ex was perfectly content to eat, watch shit tv, not work, and spend my money on shit we didn’t need. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame her in the entirety. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, it was all my fault. I could have spoken up sooner, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to “rock the boat.” I could have gotten a better paying job, but I didn’t because I was comfortable. lazy.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, I can see your future. Do you like to kick back and chill? More of the same for you. Do you like to drink, drug, and party? More of the same for you. Do you like to eat a bunch of shit? More of the same. I can see where you are going to be 10 years from now if this is your lifestyle. Your mental, physical, and emotional health are going to be in the toilet. If you are in a relationship now, it will be a different relationship 10 years from now. You’ll probably both be overweight with health issues, and probably pretty unhappy with yourselves and each other. If your partner is healthier and in better shape than you? You won’t have that relationship for long, guaranteed. And you know what else I can see in all of this? It’s all your fault. Every last bit of it. And you deserve it. Brutal I know. But I’m not here to tell you pretty little lies. I’m here to give you a dose of the truth.

While all of this can be your life 10 years from now, it doesn’t have to be. You can change it. It all starts with you asking a simple couple of questions. “Where do I see myself 10 years from now? Where do I want to be 10 years from now?” Be honest with yourself when you ask those questions. If you are leading a shit life now, it’s NOT going to magically change just because you asked a question. Wishing your life was different is the height of “magical thinking.” Wishing isn’t going to be enough. Visualizing is a good start, but when it comes right down to it, you’re going to have to get up off your ass and do something about it. Be honest with your answers. And then do something.

Get a membership and hit the gym if you are out of shape and fat. Ladies, you and I both know that men are highly visual. You want hot guys? Better become a hot woman. Men? I didn’t forget about you either. Just because women aren’t as visually stimulated as we are doesn’t mean you get a pass. Looks count.

Are you up to your ass in debt? Get that shit handled. Pay down your bills. Cut the fat in your budget. Get a cheaper cell phone plan, drop your cable provider, get a cheaper car, move into a cheaper place, ask for a raise or get a higher paying job, or work 2 jobs, or 3 jobs if necessary; sell a bunch of your shit that you aren’t using and don’t need. Stop buying some much goddamn stuff. All that shit you “think you need?” You don’t. Besides, it won’t fill that gaping hole that is inside of you. Only working on yourself can do that.

If the relationship you are in is making you absolutely miserable, get out of it. Seriously. Dump the dead-weight and move on. It will be better for all parties in the long run.

“But Rob! That’s so flippant and easy for you to say!” You’re right it is. Consider this though. Where you are at right now is your fault, you got yourself there, whether from poor choices and bad decisions, sitting around waiting for shit to “just happen,” letting other people call the shots, or whatever other excuse you come up with. Argue enough for your limitations and sure enough, they are yours.

I owned my shit and did something about it. I lost a bunch of weight, I got a better paying job that is much less stressful. I got divorced. I cleaned out a ton of shit I didn’t need and was just hoarding. I cut a bunch of the bills out of my budget, I paid off a ton of debt and am in the process of finishing that up. I’m eating healthier, I’m working out. I’m not perfect, and neither are you. I don’t try to be anymore. I’ve still got work to do, and I’ve still got more shit to handle. But guess what? I’m handling it. I’m doing something about it. And I can see where I’m going to be 10 years from now.

The choice is yours. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? What’s it going to take to get you there?

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Recommended Reading List

I’ve been a voracious reader all of my life, and I’ve read pretty much every genre out there at some point. My favorite “genre” if you will, has been non-fiction and “self improvement.” Why do I put self improvement in quotes? Because there are a TON of books out there that are absolute time wasting trash at worst, and a scarce few of golden nuggets surrounded by filler and fluff at best.

However, I’ve found a few books that are truly worth the price and the time to read. I’ve created a Recommended Reading List that has those books on it. I have read each and every one of those books from cover to cover, and some of them I have read multiple times. A few of them, (The Rational Male series) I not only have read multiple times, but I also have them in multiple formats. Paperback, electronic, and audio versions. Yes, they are that good.

This list is by no means exhaustive, and I by no means claim to be an authority on what to read and that it will work for all readers all of the time. I’ve found that they have worked for me, and if you are anything like me, they will probably work for you too. I’ll continue to add to this list as time goes on and as I keep reading more literature out there. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to let me know. I’ll check it out and if I find value in it, I’ll add it to the list.

Each book is worth the read as a man, each book is worth the time. There is very little if any filler in each of them. They are all gold. Read them. Then read them again. Then give a copy of them to someone you know who could benefit from them. You just might save a life. I’m not kidding about this. I’m serious as cancer or a heart attack when I say this.

The life you save just might be someone you care deeply about, or it might be your own.

 

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Purpose.

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What is your purpose? What are you here for? What are you here to do?

As men, we are purpose driven, we have goals, we have desires, we have what we like to call our “destiny.” I’m seeing a lot of men right now that have no purpose in their lives. They are adrift. They are “going through the motions.” They are “wandering in the desert.” They are lost.

Video games, porn, junk food, drugs, mindless sex. These are symptoms of lack of purpose. I’m not against any of these things per se, but if that’s all you are finding yourself doing more often than not, then you probably lack purpose, your life lacks meaning. When your life lacks purpose or meaning, then nothing matters. Nihilism can get a foothold. I know, I’ve been there. One thing I’ve found out, if you keep looking outside yourself to others for purpose, you’ll find it; it won’t be your purpose, it’ll be their’s. Is that a good thing? Is that what you want? Don’t be surprised when you let someone else drive the bus that you’ll end up in a different destination than what you thought or wanted. But hell, if you had no destination in mind at all, then anywhere is good I guess. Or is it?

The quest for purpose isn’t outside of you, it’s inside of you. Your purpose is for you to find out, it’s your’s to discover. Your purpose will most likely be different from mine.

Keep this one in mind at all times: You are not “lost.” You don’t need to “find yourself.” You are here! Yours isn’t to find yourself, it’s to CREATE YOURSELF. You create your purpose. You create it now, inside you. You create it everyday.

Men are the creators. Men are the builders. Men have built the empires. Men created the technology that we use. You as a man are the creator, the builder. Create your purpose, create your reality. Figure out what it is that you want, figure out what it is that you desire, then GO DO IT.

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