I can help you break up with your boyfriend
We’ll do it in style
Take you to a hole-in-the-wall bar
Take you back to my place
Take a selfie after we do the deed
Hit send

No need to tell him you love him no more
No need to hear him ask you what he can do to make it work
No need to hear him cry
He’ll be alone in his room
Bawling like a lil bitch
And you can block him from there

If you’re interested in my services
call 1-800-FUCCBOI
And we’ll set a date, time, and place
That’ll be $20,000

And it’s better if you don’t

Most guys don’t accept that they need to change. They think being Red Pilled means talking about these ideas and wearing the Red Pill mask instead of solving their actual problems. They’ve turned Red Pill into a kind of performance art that they have to present to the world in order to get the results they want. And while you can play Don Quixote for a while, as Rob Says says, “they always out themselves.”

This performance of course isn’t grounded in any real change. It’s a lie that guys tell themselves because it’s an easy way to get validation from people on the internet. I’ve talked with guys who will outright lie to you in order to make it appear that they are slaying pussy left and right. But when prodded further, the stories, framings, and suggestions they give you can be seen to be neither reliable nor helpful. And the guys who fuck know that they’re bullshitting. Being a fuckup is one thing; lying that you’re not a fuckup when you are is much much worse.

“I am Alpha. And I have no problems.”

Here’s how you can tell these guys are faking it. They will be the first to talk about how successful they are with women and how they’re lives are just awesome. I laugh now when I see this happen, because a) nobody fucking asked, b) once you have it, you don’t brag. Consider the following: why would a successful guy want loudly prove that he’s getting what he wants? Who exactly is he trying to convince? Hint: Not you.

Another tell is that he’ll talk about how he’s never getting rejections, and he’s never getting LMR, and he’s never getting flakes, and he’s always banging 9s and 10s. I don’t know about you, but in my experience, when an uncertain event in question isn’t in your control, I’m certain of two things: It is never 100% failure, nor is it 100% success.

And finally, what you’ll notice is that details don’t add up. They’ll talk about how they pulled off something that will not work if you try it. The words they use are so bookish that they can’t talk about the experiences they’ve had in their own words. They’ll use ideas that have no relation to the situation you’re dealing with when giving you advice.

Cope hope

One of the few things that stuck in my mind when reading No More Mr Nice Guy is this idea of guys learning to cope. Lying is a form of coping. By lying you get to tell yourself that you’re still awesome even if by your own definition, you are far from where you want to be.

You’re hoping that by saying these things, you get to make up for the fact that you’ve done nothing. Here’s the thing: even if you convince all of us that you’ve got your shit together, none of us who believe in you have to sleep in and wake up in your bed. A guy might get his validation from RP Twitter, Reddit or YT, but if what he says doesn’t match reality, he has to suffer the consequences of that reality.

It is much easier to cope with a lie than it is to accept the truth of your reality and fix it as you feel like you need to. And the reality is that most of the guys on these platforms are doing it and that’s all they know.

Absolutely unnecessary

And here’s the thing. If you’re in a space that is built so guys and shamelessly post field reports and ask for feedback from total strangers, it is absolutely unnecessary to lie. If anything, it’s better that you don’t lie. If you find a place that gives you harsh feedback when needed, it’s one of the last places on earth that you need to lie to.

If I meet a guy on Twitter that wants to learn this stuff, he doesn’t need to be awesome right out the gate. In fact, quite the opposite. I expect him to be terrible with women, have no social skills, and only come forward with a willingness to learn and try things.

This is the last place on earth anyone needs to lie to. We all suck, me included. There will come a time when you no longer suck. But today is not yet that day. You’re in good company if you feel like you need work. If we see your effort, we are often inclined to help.

So if you’ve spent time here online and you’ve been lying your whole time here. Don’t. You’re wasting everybody’s time. And most importantly to yourself, you’re wasting your time. Start a new account and eat your humble pie. Maybe you’ll be better for it.

I used to be angry at how most of us suck. It bothered me because some of the people. I thought already “made it”, in fact did not. I started a discord server in the hope of giving guys a chance to explore these ideas together and to apply it in our own lives. I failed to do so, only because all of the work required is on them, and not on me. This realization frustrated me for months. It took me a long time to resolve this issue for myself, but I think I’m not angry anymore. And here’s why.

I was wrong to assume that men, if untouched by society, are going to live their lives as self-sovereign individuals. Quite the contrary. All men for the vast majority of human history were entirely slaves in one form or another, whether as prehistoric humans, as ancient peoples, or as modern creatures. Consider the following:

• Only in the last few thousands years did mankind have the ability to choose which goods and services to buy.
• Only in the last thousand years did men realize that rulers could be persuaded to act on the needs of the many.
• Only in the last five hundred did the notion of the people choosing who ruled become a reality.
• Only in the last 100 years has technology freed us from the land, made our labor super efficient, and gave us the free time to do whatever the fuck we want.

The rest of that history? Being a slave for the pack. Being a slave for the king. Being a serf for the lord. Being an upright citizen of the law. And working for “the man” on company time.

Slavery is our default setting. Human freedom is the anomaly. All the evolutionary, societal, and life scripts we have, for the most part, do not optimize for mental point of origin. You should not be surprised to see men suck.

All of our instincts are wired for us to find direction in others, if not others, an abstract ideal that has no real relation to our personal interest.

Why then would you be angry? We’re animals doing animal things running on animal scripts.

So if you’re doing work, what does this observation mean for you?

It means that this takes effort to go from slave to master. You need to do continuous reflection on yourself to figure out where your weak spots are and to work on them. You need to figure out whether this thing you’re doing is for your best interest or for somebody else or to seek validation from somebody else. And that work never stops, but it does become trainable.

There’s a lot of places you can take this insight. Maybe you don’t want to be a slave and you want to change your lot in life. Maybe you’re content with your station and are okay with life coming to you as it sees fit. Maybe you want something in the middle, where society can lead you into doing something that’s beneficial for it, but other times, you get your slice of the pie. Whatever you choose, and whatever people choose, understand that you’re a slave first, but not forever if you wish.

Originally posted on Substack.