And it’s better if you don’t

Most guys don’t accept that they need to change. They think being Red Pilled means talking about these ideas and wearing the Red Pill mask instead of solving their actual problems. They’ve turned Red Pill into a kind of performance art that they have to present to the world in order to get the results they want. And while you can play Don Quixote for a while, as Rob Says says, “they always out themselves.”

This performance of course isn’t grounded in any real change. It’s a lie that guys tell themselves because it’s an easy way to get validation from people on the internet. I’ve talked with guys who will outright lie to you in order to make it appear that they are slaying pussy left and right. But when prodded further, the stories, framings, and suggestions they give you can be seen to be neither reliable nor helpful. And the guys who fuck know that they’re bullshitting. Being a fuckup is one thing; lying that you’re not a fuckup when you are is much much worse.

“I am Alpha. And I have no problems.”

Here’s how you can tell these guys are faking it. They will be the first to talk about how successful they are with women and how they’re lives are just awesome. I laugh now when I see this happen, because a) nobody fucking asked, b) once you have it, you don’t brag. Consider the following: why would a successful guy want loudly prove that he’s getting what he wants? Who exactly is he trying to convince? Hint: Not you.

Another tell is that he’ll talk about how he’s never getting rejections, and he’s never getting LMR, and he’s never getting flakes, and he’s always banging 9s and 10s. I don’t know about you, but in my experience, when an uncertain event in question isn’t in your control, I’m certain of two things: It is never 100% failure, nor is it 100% success.

And finally, what you’ll notice is that details don’t add up. They’ll talk about how they pulled off something that will not work if you try it. The words they use are so bookish that they can’t talk about the experiences they’ve had in their own words. They’ll use ideas that have no relation to the situation you’re dealing with when giving you advice.

Cope hope

One of the few things that stuck in my mind when reading No More Mr Nice Guy is this idea of guys learning to cope. Lying is a form of coping. By lying you get to tell yourself that you’re still awesome even if by your own definition, you are far from where you want to be.

You’re hoping that by saying these things, you get to make up for the fact that you’ve done nothing. Here’s the thing: even if you convince all of us that you’ve got your shit together, none of us who believe in you have to sleep in and wake up in your bed. A guy might get his validation from RP Twitter, Reddit or YT, but if what he says doesn’t match reality, he has to suffer the consequences of that reality.

It is much easier to cope with a lie than it is to accept the truth of your reality and fix it as you feel like you need to. And the reality is that most of the guys on these platforms are doing it and that’s all they know.

Absolutely unnecessary

And here’s the thing. If you’re in a space that is built so guys and shamelessly post field reports and ask for feedback from total strangers, it is absolutely unnecessary to lie. If anything, it’s better that you don’t lie. If you find a place that gives you harsh feedback when needed, it’s one of the last places on earth that you need to lie to.

If I meet a guy on Twitter that wants to learn this stuff, he doesn’t need to be awesome right out the gate. In fact, quite the opposite. I expect him to be terrible with women, have no social skills, and only come forward with a willingness to learn and try things.

This is the last place on earth anyone needs to lie to. We all suck, me included. There will come a time when you no longer suck. But today is not yet that day. You’re in good company if you feel like you need work. If we see your effort, we are often inclined to help.

So if you’ve spent time here online and you’ve been lying your whole time here. Don’t. You’re wasting everybody’s time. And most importantly to yourself, you’re wasting your time. Start a new account and eat your humble pie. Maybe you’ll be better for it.