The more I stay off social media, the more I realize just how fucked up it is when I return to it. I’m seeing guys who I respect, admire, and I have interacted with slowly devolving. For all intents and purposes, they have been “drinking all the Kool Aid.” I don’t think they realize what they are doing and what they are slowly becoming. They “can’t see the forest because of all the goddamn trees.”

Which is why I’m going to tell you about the “I’m Crazy/You’re Sane Theory” from Robert J Ringer. Mr. Ringer wrote several books, one of them titled, “Looking Out For #1.” This particular book was copyrighted in 1977. I consider it one of the first books on “self-improvement,” but back when self improvement wasn’t pandering to the reader with fluff and flowery language. No, Mr. Ringer comes at you point blank, in your face, and fuck your feelings.

I remember getting this book back in the late 80’s or maybe it was the early 90’s. I know I read it in college, my copy has the highlights and underlines in it. And boy, there’s a lot of highlighting and underlining.

I decided to pick up my copy again, because many concepts and ideas from it have stuck with me through the years. Watching guys I respect and admire slowly devolve got me to thinking about one of Mr. Ringer’s theories:

“I’m Crazy/You’re Sane Theory”

It’s my contention that if you attempt to carry on a relationship with an irrational person long enough, it’s only a matter of time until you begin wondering if day really isn’t night and 2+2 really doesn’t equal 5. Given enough time, an irrational individual can make you think that you’re the one who’s neurotic. Don’t let that happen. Can you imagine a more terrible nightmare than rattling the bars of your cage and having peanuts tossed to you by a neurotic person you carelessly allowed to remain in your life?

When you eliminate an aggravating individual from your private world, you’re effecting a long-term solution; it’s a cure. Humoring (compromising) is only a short-term patching job – the equivalent of taking an aspirin. Handled effectively, the neurotic will not only leave you alone, but probably will forget about you. It’s when you allow him to remain, and try to get him to “see the light” through facts and logic, that he can’t forget about you.

Remember: People will bother you until you no longer let them!

You stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss will stare back into you.

To quote a line from the movie 8mm:

“You dance with the Devil, the Devil don’t change. The Devil changes you.”

And that’s what I’m seeing.

Guys are dancing with the Devil and they are slowly but surely, changing. They are becoming the monsters that they claim to fight. They are becoming the neurotics. It’s come to a point for me now where I’m having to revise who I would introduce to my Father, my boss, my co-workers, and my women. I’m having to revise who I would even want to grab a beer with. With some of these guys, a year ago, or even 6 months ago, I would have had no problem with at least grabbing a beer with them. Now I’m not so sure I even want to do that.

I don’t know if “going outside and touching grass,” is going to help some of them at this point.

What’s really sad is that the various platforms of social media themselves foster and encourage the behaviors that I’m seeing. They are literally creating neurotics just by engagement alone. They are designed for it. They are meant for it.

I understand the “Nature of the Beast.” I get why guys engage in outrage and take on neurotics. It’s all for the Holy Algorithm. It’s to gain followers, which can hopefully be converted into paying customers. I understand the “Funnel.”

But is it worth it? Is it worth it to be a dancing monkey? Is it worth it to lose your sanity? Are you really willing to sacrifice your mental and physical health for the Almighty Dollar? Do you really want to be an “influencer,” or famous so bad, that you alienate yourself from everyone that is close to you? Do you really want to become a caricature? A meme? A joke?

With most people online having the attention span of a goldfish, do you really think you’ll be remembered for any significant length of time after you either disappear or die? Was it worth it for you to destroy your health, relationships, and possibly your own sanity, only to end up as a footnote, at best, or a joke at worst, in the history of whatever you are engaging in? Because some of the guys that I interact with are heading towards becoming a joke, and they don’t see it.

Is it really worth it to you? It’s not worth it to me.