Always On The Go

time lapse photography of train

I know a few people in my life that are always on the go. They got shit to do. They want to be efficient and productive. If they don’t have an itinerary to follow, they get anxious. It’s like the Hounds of Hell are nipping and chasing at their heels.

Don’t get me wrong, I get it. I prefer to be productive and doing things instead of lying around like a lazy piece of shit.

I also know that while being productive and on the go can be a good thing, I also know that you end up burning the candle at both ends.

If that sense of urgency to do shit, to be productive, is really the Hounds chasing you, were you diagnosed with some terminal illness? Do you know something I don’t? I understand that our time here on the planet is in fact, limited. We will all leave here someday. No one here gets out alive.

At the same time, I’ve tried burning the candle at both ends, and I just can’t do it for extended periods of time. I burn out. I get fatigued and exhausted. And I lose focus on the bigger picture.

What is the bigger picture? I’m glad you asked. It’s going to be different for everyone, but the bigger picture for me is the time that I get to spend with those that I cherish.

I’ve traveled quite a bit over the years and I’ve seen a lot of places and things. I’ve definitely bought the T-shirt. You know the one: Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. In all of the places I’ve been, with all the things I’ve seen, only one thing really has mattered to me over time.

It’s not where I’ve been or where I’m going. It’s not seeing this place, that thing, or the other thing. It’s who I’ve spent my time with that matters the most.

I would rather sit next to a fire, smoke a great cigar while sipping scotch, talking philosophy with good friends than hike the Grand Canyon by myself.

I would rather ride my motorcycle next to a couple Brothers, flying down the highway, feeling the wind on my face as we ride side by side than hike another goddamn mountain to see yet another goddamn peak, to look down into another goddamn valley just to say that I hiked up there and looked down there. The top of a mountain is overrated anyways. Same shit up there. Rocks and probably snow. And it’s cold.

I’m not against hiking or doing anything. It’s just that I would rather spend time relaxing and talking about taking over the world with good people, close friends, than hike for the sake of hiking.

At the end of your life, it’ll be the memories of the people that you did stuff with, that you talked to, that you shared a moment with, that will matter most. It’s not going to be that monument you saw in some national park somewhere. It won’t be the plane flight that you took to bumfuck Egypt, unless you met your mate on that flight.

It’s about the people in your life that matter most. It’s those memories and those experiences that will mean the most to you at the end of your days. Not how many miles you logged while backpacking across Europe.

Sometimes it’s okay to slow down and just relax. You don’t always need to be on the go, to be doing shit. Sometimes the best itinerary is no itinerary at all.

Like the tired old cliche goes: Slow down and smell the flowers. Or something like that. Or in my case, sit down, drink some scotch, smoke a good cigar while talking to close friends about everything and nothing at all.

You can take over the world and be the whirlwind that you are tomorrow. While we all have to leave this world eventually, and we will all leave it sooner than we think, I do think that for the most part, you and I will both still be here tomorrow.

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Go Big Or Go Home

photo of mountain peak

There are some maxims or adages that I live by. Now granted my maxims aren’t necessarily original, and they aren’t set in stone. They aren’t meant to limit but to help me expand my life.

Today I’m going to talk about one that I call “Go Big or Go Home.” Sure you’ve all heard that one before, and maybe you know what it means, but let me ask you this:

Do you put “Go Big or Go Home” into practice in your life? You may say the words a hundred times or more, and you may even hear it ten times more than that, but do you actually put them into practice?

Here’s a couple of examples from my own experience that have worked out extremely well:

  1. Met a woman not too long ago, realized that I was attracted to her, started the flirting and the banter up and escalated the talk towards sex and sensuality really quick. Maybe two or three minutes quick. Why not? Go big or go home right? Can you see the benefit of doing this, and doing it quickly? a) It sets the tone quick and right up front. b) It will keep you from the friendzone. c) It will polarize her. I’ve found that women fall into 3 categories: 1. They are interested in you. 2. They are not interested in you. 3. They could be interested in you. Polarizing them gets the maybe’s into either the interested or not interested groups real quick. d) You don’t waste time when you’re going after what you want. e) I’ve gotten what I wanted more often than not.
  2. When you do Go Big or Go Home, you tend to stand out. With women, with Men, with people in general, doesn’t matter where you are and what you are doing, you stand out. I’m on the short end of the bell curve when it comes to my height, it can be an obstacle for sure, but I don’t let it get in my way. I just push and work that much harder for the results that I want. Most people that have met me in real life don’t realize how short I am until I mention it. Usually they think I’m taller than I actually am. That’s because I “carry” myself as much taller. It’s go big or go home baby.

When I was younger, I tried doing the blending in thing. Tried not rocking the boat. Tried to be “humble.” Where did that get me? Nowhere. Just miserable is all. So I gave it up and figured if this is the only life that I get to have, I might as well live it as I want to. So I got bold, loud, brash.

What happened? Well I pissed a lot of people off in the beginning. Most of them knew me in my “prior life,” and they didn’t like what I was becoming. That was because I wasn’t doing what they wanted me to do anymore. Needless to say, I lost some “friends.” Oh well.

What did I gain though? I enjoy my life far more thoroughly now. The people that show up in my life know me how I am and they accept it, it’s all they know. They are “with the program.” The people that show up now are far more “alive” than the earlier crowd. They are willing to do things the old crowd wouldn’t have dreamed of doing. They are willing to push the envelope with me and beside me. Why not? Seriously, what’s the worst thing that can happen?

The people I’ve met, the friends that I’ve made, they are fiercely loyal to me. I have no doubt that they have my six and would take a bullet for me. That’s because they know that I have their six and would take a bullet for them.

What ever you choose to do and put out there, that’s what people are going to see and come to expect from you. And more often than not, not only will they expect it from you, they’ll accept it too. You would be surprised to find out the shit you can get away with if you only just go big or go home.

Whatever you believe about yourself is true. Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they’re yours. Instead of having limiting beliefs, what if you believed that you are bigger than you think you are?

Life became much more intense, much more engaging, and a helluva lot more fun when I decided to go big or go home. I’m not attached to outcomes so much anymore, I’m more interested in what will happen. It’s like doing science experiments minus the lab setting. Crazy and cool shit happens if you let it and push for it.

What’s stopping you from going big or going home? What’s the worst that can happen? Face that fear. So you lose the girl. So you lose the job. So you don’t get the raise. So you don’t get the promotion. So what? As long as whatever it is doesn’t actually kill you, so fucking what?

You’re not going to get the results you want by walking on eggshells. You won’t get anything other than misery by blending in and not rocking the boat.

So what are you going to do about it?


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Single Mother’s Raising Sons

woman holding baby while sitting on fur bean bag
Ain’t It Cute? Awww…

So the other day at work, I got a helper, we’ll call him “John,” who went out on route with me.

While we were out doing our thing, and kicking ass at it I might add, having an extra set of hands will do wonders for productivity and efficiency, John and I got to bullshitting…

John is 30 years old. He’s on his second marriage, and between him and his wife, they have six children. (Talk about the Brady Bunch.)

Anyways, John’s marriage is decaying. He’s thinking of leaving her.

There’s trust issues on both sides. Apparently he started “dating” a while back when they separated. Then they got back together. Now she’s about to branch swing.

Branch swinging for those that don’t know, is when a woman is finding another man and is getting ready to jump out of her current relationship.

I know she’s branch swinging because John told me about it. She’s not being sly or coy. She’s told him that she’s met some dude and he’s “really cute,” and he “really understands her.” But they are “just friends.”

For now at least.

John’s marriage is a shit show to say the least.

His wife went to court for selling alcohol to a minor at her job. She got caught in a sting and one of the results of her poor decisions was that she lost her job, and now she’s facing fines from the court. From what he told me, she has a “hard time” holding down a job.

She knows how to push his buttons and push them she does. He knows her’s as well.

Like I said, it’s a shit show.

The biggest red flag that I heard about though, is that she is a drug addict.

She injects meth.

Meth is probably the worst of the bad news when it comes to drugs. At least in my opinion. And injecting it?

I don’t know what the street lingo is these days for injecting drugs, but when I was younger, it was called “Mainlining.”

Mainlining is a huge deal. Injecting drugs gives an instantaneous hit, whatever that hit is. It goes straight into the bloodstream and straight to the heart and brain. Whether it’s a stimulant, like meth, or a depressant like heroin, it’s effects when injected are immediate. It’s worse than snorting or smoking a drug.

If you or someone you know is injecting drugs, you have serious problems ahead of you if not already.

Seriously, it doesn’t get worse than this.

John grew up with an absentee father. His Dad was working all the time or wasn’t very attentive and active with his children. So his mother became his role model so to speak.

He’s a good looking guy, he takes care of himself and is really physically fit. He’s easy on the eyes for the ladies, I know, because I watched him and them interact throughout the day. I would even say John has decent game.

John is also a White Knight to a degree and is definitely a Captain Save a Ho. He’s trying to save his wife from herself. I get it. I would want to help my wife too. Problem is, she doesn’t want to be saved. She enjoys her lifestyle and her habits, and he enables her.

John told me that the only person he has ever feared in his life is his mother. I don’t really have the words.

He still fears her. To me, it explains a lot of his behavior towards his wife and to women in general. He’s looking for that approval from them. He basically is trying to do “the right thing.” To be a “good boy.”

Because he’s looking for approval from the women in his life, he’s made his life about the women in it. They are the Mission. They come first. They are his focus.

Do you guys do that?

Do you make the women in your life your central focus?

Do you seek their approval in who you are and what you do?

Do you let them define what a “good man” is for you?

Do you let them define your masculinity?

A long time ago, I did.

And it got me nothing but confusion, heartache, sorrow, and bitterness.

It’s a dark road going that way, letting a woman define and decide who and what you are.

If you let them define your masculinity for you, it will be to their betterment, not yours.

Our society is so ingrained with this way of thinking that it has become the norm. It’s part of why boys and men today are so feminine. It’s also why both men and women are so confused and unhappy with each other as a whole, as genders.

Women need to stop defining what masculinity is for men.

For our part as men, we need to stop listening to women telling us how to be men. We need to stop sitting at their knees.

That’s what father’s are for, ideally. If not your father, then another man. Not your mother. Not your sister(s), not your girlfriend, and not your wife.

Men define masculinity. We know best about that because we are masculine, we are men.

There’s a saying going around the interwebs, and it’s something like this:

Don’t ask a fish how to fish, ask a fisherman how to fish.

Don’t ask a woman how to be a man, or what makes a “good man.” She doesn’t know, she’s not a man. Oh don’t get me wrong, she’ll have all sorts of ideas of what she thinks makes a good man, but she has her head up her ass and is up in the night about this one. She truly has no clue.

Don’t ask a woman how to “pick up” or seduce women. She doesn’t know that either. You want to know about picking up women, ask guys who pick up women and are really good at it.

In my family, there was one member that has seen it and done it all. They had an opinion on everything and how you should do “it”, whatever that was. Can you guess who that family member was?

It was my mother.

I love her dearly, but goddamn, the woman needed to shut her gob sometimes.

I’ve learned if I want to truly get things done, especially quickly and efficiently, I talk to my father. His advice to me has been practical and priceless. He doesn’t say much, he just does. He also keeps the “you should’s” and “you ought to’s” to a minimum.

To wrap it up, I leave you with this:

Women aren’t perfect, I love that they try. My mom did the best she could with the limited knowledge and skills that she had. I’m sure it’s the same for your mother’s as well. Don’t be dicks to them.

But stop listening to what women think a man should be. Stop letting them define your masculinity for you. Stop seeking their approval. You can virtue signal all you want to them, they still won’t fuck you.

We men don’t have to answer to women. We can have our own ideas about what is being a man and being masculine without having to submit or consult with women. You do not need their approval.

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