Observations From A Saturday Night

photo of glass overflowing with beer

It’s Labor Day again. By the time you guys read this, it will be past Labor Day, but yeah I’m writing this then.

I did what I didn’t think was possible. I’m actually burned out on drinking. I’m writing this sober and even the idea of having a beer just doesn’t sound good right now. I’m not hung over, I’m just….Done. At least for today, maybe longer, who knows? We’ll see.

It all started Friday afternoon and continued well into the wee hours of Monday morning. So that’s what, two and a half days of constant consumption of alcohol? 2 and a half days of being in some sort of buzzed state, if not straight up drunk? Yeah something like that. I think a few of my guys would be proud. (Carl and BullRush come to mind.) Or maybe they would be a little nervous. (Jesus, do we really want to go out drinking with Rob? The guy might actually put us in the grave.) Be afraid Jack, be very afraid.

Not bad for a short, skinny guy.

Skinny. That’s a funny word to me. It’s funny to me because I’ve never been able to see myself as skinny. I’ve always been the overweight guy. Even now when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t necessarily see myself as thin. There’s residual “love handles” that are still there. And yet when I touch them, I realize that the protrusion I’m seeing and feeling is more hip bone than anything.

I’ve had people online on Twitter call me skinny or thin and it makes me pause. Again, because that’s not how I see myself. But these people have never seen the younger, fatter version of me, they never grew up with that. All they know about me is what they see now and I guess they see a skinny guy. A “bundle of stix.” I take that comment as a compliment. I’m okay with that. In today’s world of obesity, it’s been my personal experience that it is better to be a bundle of sticks than to be fat. Especially if you are a Man.

Which brings me to the next observation:

On Saturday afternoon and well into the night, I got the pleasure of meeting up with a fellow Man by the name of Elton Skelton. He’s a great guy. He’s recently “unplugged” and is figuring out what he wants out of his life and is truly starting to live his life on his own terms. I couldn’t be happier for him.

Mr Skelton and I went out Saturday night to a local club here in Salt Lake and listened to the house band, which was phenomenal by the way, had a few drinks, and had a great time. It’s been over 15 years since I’ve been in a “club.” Oh I’ve been to many bars since those 15 years ago, but not a club. Clubs to me are usually too loud, too chaotic, and now that I’m getting older, I could be easily seen as the “creepy old dude at the club.”

One thing I’ve learned about women is that they are conformists and herd animals. They typically travel in packs, and whatever the group does or believes, the individual tends to tow the party line. What that means to me is, I know there are young women that would be totally into an older guy like me, but because the group as a whole may frown on “the old guy,” she will go along with her peers and not be open to being approached by said “old guy.” I’ve come to realize that while I’m sure I could take a much younger woman to a club and we would be just fine and have a good time, trying to approach and meet a much younger woman at the club is going to be very difficult to say the least.

I want to approach and “pick up” women with ease. I don’t need to summit mountains to get the phone number. I think that’s an ego thing for the guys who do that, and that’s okay for them, you do you. I’m more concerned about my success with approaching than I am about the degree of difficulty. In fact, the less difficulty, the better. Maybe that makes me lazy in some people’s eyes, but I don’t really care. That degree of difficulty or the lack of it may be all the difference between you getting blown out of the water, and me going home with someone that I can enjoy. I’m rambling, let’s move on…

Another observation that showed up for me while I was at the club with Mr Skelton was that he, myself, and one other guy were the best dressed guys in there. 3 guys. That was it. The rest of the guys were seriously doing the ill fitting t-shirts and cargo shorts thing. Clones of each other. It was really sad and a bit pathetic.

Also, I found myself, at least for a little bit, going into “security mode.” I used to do armed security for a couple of bars back in the day and I guess that training and mentality dies hard. I was finding myself scanning the room, looking for any threats. Looking for the big, aggressive drunk dudes who may decide to pop off and throw down. Looking for anything that could show up for me as something to avoid or to keep an eye on. There was none of that on Saturday night. Not a single one. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want there to be trouble, I don’t want to avoid people in order to avoid ending up in a fight, but there was none of that there.

The guys that were there were all so “soft.” Soft in their bodies and in their actions, which tells me, they are soft in their minds. Not an assertive one among them. Not one “predator.” Just soft, lost doughboys. Pillows wearing ratty oversized t-shirts and cargo shorts.

Guys, that’s your competition. That’s what’s out there. I don’t know if the bar could fall any lower. I found it really sad that here I am, 47 years old, and I’m in better shape than 99% of the club, and I’m not even trying. I’m no paragon of healthy eating and living. I’m in better shape than all the guys that were in their early to mid twenties. It still blows my mind when I think about it.

Guys, you don’t have to work hard to be in the “upper tiers” today. Just do a little work. Seriously.

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Appreciating Women

woman holding flowers
It’s all about the Sun Hat Gods. LOL 😉

I’m probably going to catch hell from certain circles of the ‘Sphere about this essay. I imagine that there are going to be guys who will think that I’ve lost my mind and that I’m going “purple” or “blue pill” on them. I’m not. This isn’t about women all being sugar and spice and boy, do they smell nice. This isn’t about “you too can find and get your One.” This isn’t about pedestalization. In fact, it’s not really about women at all, or at least for the most part. It’s about You. Let’s carry on…

I’ve been thinking a lot about things lately, and something showed up for me that I’ve never really given a lot of thought to. Let me start off with a little back story…

The other day I was drinking and shitposting on Twitter as I usually do, and I had a conversation via DM’s with a guy that I follow and have a ton of respect for. We got to bullshitting as we do, and he sends me this link. Now in this link some asshole author called him an Esquire. The Red Pill Douche, Esq to be exact. Which got me to thinking, “this guy is fucking royalty!” That or the author of the blog post has a real hard-on for my guy. Either way, I decided right then and there that I too, wanted a title. So I knighted myself and gave myself the title of Esq. as well because, why the fuck not?

What did this little story have to do with anything? Absolutely nothing. I just decided to share it because I found it immensely amusing and immensely entertaining.

Anyways, after I knighted and anointed a few other guys and drank a couple more beers, I decided to see what my “daygamers” were up to. I have a lot of respect for these guys because they are out there in the field, hitting on the babes, getting shot down, getting the number, getting the close, and in some cases, getting the lay.

These guys are bulletproof, let me tell you. So I’m scrolling their timelines, reading their shit, and of course, links and blogs galore start showing up. And of course, yours truly has to go down THAT rabbit hole.

Many clicks later, I stumbled across a blog that I had only heard mention of, I’m sure the pick up guys will snicker and call me a noob as I’m sure this particular blog is old hat to that crew, but hey, you can teach an old dog like me new tricks.

So I’m combing through this particular blog and I stumble across a post written in 2016. It’s titled How To Appreciate Every Woman (At least temporarily), and it got me to thinking…

First off, it’s a great article and I highly recommend you read it, especially if you are a Man, and here’s what I got thinking about:

I’ve had a lot of experience with women over the years. I’m not just talking about sexually, but in general. Women don’t bother me for the most part. They are who they are, warts and all. Sometimes I see guys post some crazy shit about women, and I’m thinking to myself, “Really? Is that what happened to you? Man, that sucks. I’ve never had that happen to me, thank God.” And then I move on.

I see guys stressing about hypergamy, which is a thing, but it isn’t the be-all-end-all of women. There’s more going on there than that, and after I read that article that I just linked, it got me to thinking, “Are some guys opinions and points of view simply because they lack the experience with women that I’ve had?” Honestly I don’t know. I don’t have the answer to that question, but it sounds plausible.

Guys, I won’t know how you answer this question, so at least be honest with yourselves:

How much experience have you had relating to women? I’m not just talking sexually. And I’m not talking about family either. How much interaction have you had with them besides, “Hello, how are you? How’s your day going?”

Based on my observations, I would think that there are some guys out there that have had little to no interaction with women. And that’s okay. I’m not judging.

Like the article mentions though, what if you decided to go out there and interact with women? Don’t worry about “getting the number,” or “getting the lay.” What if you just decided to talk to them? Have a conversation with them?

One of the things that I found really profound in that article was this:

Instead of looking for imperfections when you see a girl, look for her best feature.

This alone can transform your sex life.

I realize that I do this a lot. Every day, when I’m out and about, I run into women all over the place. A gigantic proportion of them I would not find sexually attractive, and I wouldn’t want to get them into bed. But I make it a point to find something about them that I find attractive, at least for that moment.

Maybe it’s her hair. The length of it. The color. The way she styles it. Maybe it’s the way she pushes her glasses up onto her nose. Maybe it’s her smile, or the way she snorts when she giggles. Maybe it’s something she is wearing. Maybe it’s her perfume.

I’ve even been able to find something attractive about a tatted up, pierced, and multi-colored hair SJW. After all, she is still a woman (at least as far as I know) and she may be pissed off at the world, but chances are it’s because she drank too much of the kool-aid.

So guys, you want to “up your chances” with women? You need to get out there and meet women and interact with them. It doesn’t mean you have to bed every woman you meet. Just talk to them. I challenge you to find one thing, just one thing that you can find attractive about her, and focus on that. See where it goes. You might surprise yourselves.

Picking up women is a numbers game. In many cases, as I have found through my own personal experience, it’s also a matter of being the right guy, in the right place, at the right time.

So here’s my challenge to you, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with women:

Go out and do your things like you always do. (That means you have to leave the house.)

See women all around you, and they really are all around you, so pay attention.

Every woman you see, find something about her that you find attractive. Could be anything. Her hair, her clothes, the way she walks, her laugh. Literally anything.

Make a mental note to yourself of whatever it was. Talk to her if you want. Or don’t. Move on. Rinse and repeat.

Our society and our culture has men and women at war with each other. It doesn’t have to be this way. It starts with you making a choice. Choose to look for something attractive about her when you see her. I don’t care if you talk to her or not. I don’t care how old she is. I don’t care if she’s “not your type.” Just find one thing, that one thing, that you can say to yourself that you find attractive about her. Instead of looking for reasons to reject her, look for something that you like about her.

It brings the humanity back to her. It takes the “us versus them” mentality down a notch.

One of the things that I have noticed is this: The more you can find something attractive about a woman, the easier it gets to talk to her. The more “experience” you have with women, the more success you will have with women. The more you interact with women, I’m not talking about texting and doing stuff online, I’m talking real life, face-to-face interactions with them, the more their humanity comes out. This whole, us vs them mentality starts to fade.

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Like A Good Neighbor..

download (3)

Mind your own business.

I did a Salt Lake Sit-Down with my friend, Brother, co-founder, and co-host of Masculine Geek, Vince LaRosa on Saturday. We talked about “wine, women, and song.” It was a really good episode if I do say so myself. You should check it out.

If you follow me at all on Youtube, you’ll know that I’ve been on a few different shows by different people. One of the most recent one’s is Jack Napier’s Red Pill Readings. We discussed The Manipulated Man by Esther Villar. I highly recommend this book if you haven’t already read it. It’s eye opening in many ways, particularly because it was written many years ago. 1971 in fact. At least according to the original copyright.

I first read this book over a year ago, and every time I reread it, I get more from it. I reread it before talking with Jack in order to refresh my memory and to pull certain details from it. I really like and enjoy literature that makes me think and this particular book does just that.

Now I’m not going to go into a book review here, I just needed to mention all of this to set the background or the context.

There’s a lot of talk out there on the interwebs about having “your mission.” What mission that is, is up to you. But apparently it can’t be about women. Women are a compliment, not the mission itself. I get that. But why exactly can’t women be your mission? What if I want to spend my days intertwined in their flesh? What if I want to wrap my arms around them and them me? I’m not talking about pedestalizing them here. I’m not talking about having them so much a part of my life that I don’t know where I begin and they end.

I understand their nature enough. I know they are “the most responsible teenager in the room.” I understand hypergamy. I also know it’s not a straightjacket. I know they aren’t all “sugar and spice and everything nice.” I get that they can branch swing. I also know that more often than not, they can be a huge pain in the ass.

Your Mission has become the new mantra. Well if you decide to not deal with women at all, or only in limited, superficial degrees, what’s the point in having a mission?

What’s the point in getting “jacked” and eating healthy and living a long life if you aren’t going to share it with someone? Or many someones?

What’s the point in “amassing incredible wealth” if all you are going to do is go be a hermit somewhere?

What’s the point in doing anything?

I enjoy the company of Men to talk about life, philosophy, politics, guns, exercise, and pretty much anything else under the sun, but I don’t want to fuck them. And getting a massage from a dude would just be…Weird.

I spent Friday evening in the company of a beautiful young lady. She’s vivacious, full of laughter, and she’s full of energy and life. She’s got a ton of issues that aren’t my problem and I have no desire whatsoever to fix. Not my circus, not my monkeys. But I felt energized and renewed after she left. I’ve missed that. I didn’t know it until it happened, but goddamn I’ve missed that. I missed being touched.

We are social creatures. We need to touch and be touched. I remember seeing something somewhere about a study or something that mentioned babies and the effects of being touched or not. I seem to recall that the lack of touch created all sorts of health issues for babies that didn’t get touched on a regular basis.Possible physical and definitely mental and emotional issues.

I think that doesn’t just apply to babies. I think that applies to everyone throughout our entire lives. A dead philospher, a religious text, and picking up iron aren’t going to replace a touch. Never have, never will. Neither will booze or other drugs. Want a real dopamine hit? Caress a woman’s shoulder. Run your fingers down her arm to that soft spot on her elbow. She’ll feel it and so will you. Touch her face. Close her eyes with your fingertips. Place your hand on her stomach. Let her touch yours.

Your mission can’t replicate that. Unless maybe your mission is that.

There’s more to life than dead philosophers and mental masturbation. There’s more to life than reading about the exploits and heroics of dead presidents. There’s more to life than just making money. There’s more to life than travelling the world and seeing the sights, but you don’t have someone to share that experience with. I’ve always felt that if I’m going to travel anywhere, it’s more important to me who I travel with than the destination. I may remember a certain piece of architecture, or a natural landmark, but it won’t move me like sharing that architecture or landmark with someone else will. All of my best memories of vacations and trips involved the parties I was with, not the locations that I visited. One of my favorite memories was at the Great Salt Lake, and that location is literally 5 minutes away from my house. Hint, it wasn’t the lake itself. It was who I was with.

Sometimes all that is really needed is just to touch and be touched. Sometimes all it takes to break through that haze of confusion, anger, and sadness is a finger tracing your jawline. Or a soft feminine hand gripping your forearm.

“Dood! You lost your framez/bluepill/beta/orbiter looser juicesqueeze lolololol!!!!!!!!1111”

Sssshh. Sit down. The Men are talking.

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