Burnout.

man reading burning newspaper
Every Time I Open Twitter.

The longer I stay on Twitter, the more I scroll, the more outrage I see. More and more, there is a “gender war.” Lately it’s coming from “our side.” It’s almost as bad as feminists when they go off about men.

If you haven’t noticed, especially here on my blog, I’m trying to steer clear of all of that. If you follow everything going on in the ‘Sphere and take it as gospel, then there’s no point in getting involved with women, because all they are going to do is cheat on you, take half or more of your assets, and “branch swing” on over to Chad Thundercock.

If you listen to a lot of the voices in the ‘Sphere, there’s a huge amount of women that are BPD, they are all gold-diggers, they will get knocked up by Chad and then try and pass that offspring off as yours.

And of course, every single one of these things will be your fault. Because you didn’t do the work, you didn’t lift, you didn’t eat meat, you didn’t wake up at 4 am and drink a pot of black coffee while taking a cold shower, and god forbid, you asked her a question and wanted her input about food or something; you just lost your frame. Since you don’t drive anything better than a lambo, you might as well fucking forget it.

It’s turning into fucked up guys screaming that you are a fucked up guy.

Sure the family court system is rigged against you. Sure, she could go feral, divorce rape you, take half your shit, and take your kids from you, leaving you to be nothing more than an ATM for her shopping trips. I know it happens.

Just because she could, doesn’t necessarily mean she will though. For every horrific divorce or break up that you hear about, you never hear about the divorces or break up’s where both parties parted amicably. You hardly hear about the relationships that are working out just fine, and no, these ain’t your gram’s and gramp’s relationships that have been going strong since the Stone Age. I’m talking about the 4 year relationships or the 9 year relationships. Relationships that have started during the rise of the internet or even after it.

Why is that? Because that shit doesn’t sell. That shit doesn’t get views or clicks.

“Hey Terry, how’s that relationship with Barbara working out?”

“Great Fred! We’ve been going strong now for about 6 years.”

“Well that’s just great Terry! Talk to you later.”

If guys approached each other in real life like they do online, it would look like inmates from the insane asylum had broken out.

“Billy! You know that girl you are seeing is a single mom right? She fucked up and got knocked up by Chad Thundercock and had his kid! She probably is looking for you to be her Beta Bucks! Be careful though man, those single mom’s will cheat on you with Chad’s brother Chet, and she’ll probably get knocked up by him and try to pass that bastard offspring off as yours!”

I thought the Red Pill was about understanding women’s natures, realizing that they are different than us. Different and complimentary. Not this hate shit I’m seeing all over the place.

When I filed for divorce from my ex-wife back in 2015, she could have fought me and been a bitter bitch about it. Guess what? She didn’t. She signed the papers and let me get on with my life.

When my ex-girlfriend decided she didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, she could have cleaned my house out and disappeared into the night. Guess what? She didn’t. We parted on good terms.

When either I or several of the women that I’ve been seeing over this last year realized that things weren’t working out the way that we wanted, guess what? We ended things like adults. No harm, no foul, no hard feelings. It just didn’t work is all. No drama, no threats, no bullshit. Either I called it quits or they did, but it was no big deal.

Same with many of the guys that I talk to and deal with on a regular basis in the real world. When their relationships ended for whatever reason, both parties took it on the chin and left like adults. It was so common and so un-spectacular, it was actually kind of boring.

But that’s not the majority of the talk in the ‘Sphere these days. These days it’s about the outliers becoming the average; becoming the norm. Not every woman you meet is going to be BPD. Not every woman you meet is going to be damaged goods just waiting for a paycheck, your paycheck. Not every woman has a 1000 Cock Stare. Not every woman is a complete irresponsible idiot.

It seems that with each passing day the ‘Sphere is becoming more and more polarized. It’s becoming more and more “Us vs Them.” Just like feminism. Only now it’s guys sulking and pouting and throwing their own temper tantrums and taking their ball and going home because “the game is rigged.”

I understand when a guy gets blown out of the water by a woman and his whole life gets turned upside down. I’ve been there. The hurt and the anger are real, and up to a point, they are justified. At some point you have to let that shit go and get on with your life though. Be angry for a minute for sure, but then move past it. Your hurt and anger are only a crossroads, not a final destination.

This is why I don’t get caught up in the outrage anymore, from either side. It’s not productive, at least for me. I’ve heard all the bullshit a hundred times over. Same shit, different guy. It doesn’t work for me anymore. I don’t care.

In a lot of ways, getting on to social media is no better or no different from watching the MSM. All gloom and doom. All blood and gore. All high drama and outrage. It’s all bullshit.

I saw a meme recently that said, “We used to use the internet as a way to escape the real world, now we are using the real world to escape the internet.” Something like that. It’s true though. I get on social media and see the latest outrage and then I go outside and see that there still is no spoon. Hell, I’m open-minded enough. I go looking for this outrage on the streets and wherever it is that people congregate, and I’m still not seeing it, no matter how hard I try.

Guys, stopping drinking the Kool-Aid and get off the internet for awhile, and get out of your homes for a few hours. Clear the shit from your heads.

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The Silence…

silhouette of man at sunset
Silence Is Hell.

[Edit: I wrote this a while back when I was going through a real rough patch. Things are much better now. -Rob]

The Silence is…Deafening.

The Silence is…Distracting.

The Silence is…Unbearable.

Not going to lie, it’s been a rough few weeks since my relationship ended. The worst part of it is the nights.

Like that cornball saying from Game of Thrones: Winter is Here. It gets dark early, the house is quiet, too quiet. I go to bed early because why not? Only to not fall asleep and stare at the ceiling.

The ringing in my ears from the silence is distracting almost to the point of madness. So a video comes on. Or a movie. Or music. Anything to shut out the sound of silence.

As I write this, the click of the keyboard on my bed is soothing. It dulls the silence. It is background noise of a sort.

I’m trying to remember what it was like to be able to sit in silence or lie down in silence and be comforted by it. To be good with the silence. I’ll get there. Eventually. I know this. It’s just not right now.

Right now silence is too silent. It’s a distraction. It’s an obstacle. It’s an adversary to me. It’s not my friend at the moment.

Too much silence at this moment in my life.

It’s kind of funny, I wake up in silence. I go to work in silence. I can’t stand listening to the radio in the morning during my commute. Too many commercials and shit music. Too much mindless babbling from the radio “personalities.”

I talk with my co-workers briefly before going out on route. I drive around in silence. I exchange brief, cordial pleasantries with the customers when I service them. Rinse and repeat.

I get back to the shop when the work is done, talk briefly. Get back into my car for the commute home in silence. I get home to a silent house. I go to the gym and listen to music while I’m there. I don’t talk to anyone for the most part because I’m there to work out, as are they.

I go back home, fix dinner in silence, and then I’ll get on Twitter or Periscope for a bit. My voice breaks the silence for however long I’m doing the social media thing.

I go to bed in silence and not fall asleep because of the silence.

And the whole process tends to repeat itself. At least for right now.

The Silence is…Hell.

I can see the “light at the end of the tunnel,” so to speak. But it feels like it’s a million miles away.

I’m tired of the silence already.

I’m tired.

I’m rambling via a keyboard so that the click of the keys breaks the silence.

I’m typing to keep on keeping on.

I’ve got this. Some way, somehow, I’ve got this.

 

I just found this in my drafts recently and debated on sharing it or not. I originally wrote this post back in March of 2019. It’s interesting finding this post and reading it, seeing where I was at and comparing it to now.

The silence is still there from time to time, but it’s rare now. I still have an occasional sleepless night, but those too, are rare.

Winter is Here, yet again, just like last year. Only this year is better, much better. All those feelings I felt a year ago, they were just feelings, and they passed with the passage of time. I went from being alone in a silent house to having multiple people show up and share time with me. If I had done the unthinkable, if I had contemplated the thing that cannot be undone, I wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t know the things that I know now. I wouldn’t have had all the experiences that I have had now.

I wouldn’t have the friendships that I have now. I wouldn’t have the sex and the relationships that I have now. I wouldn’t have told the stories that I’ve told and I wouldn’t have been able to listen to the stories that were told to me. I wouldn’t have seen the things I’ve seen, or visited the people and the places that I’ve visited.

A whole lifetime of stories and experiences had, and in less than a year from when I first wrote this particular post. Damn, what a wonderful world I inhabit and live in. And to think, the silence was starting to do me in. I didn’t let it, and here I am.

Don’t let it do you in either.

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Are You Experienced?

jimi-hendrix-are-you-experienced

“Who, after all, are the most anti-sex people and slut shamers aside from trad-con males? Feminists, and women who are fat and/or old.” –@redpilldadpua

The above quote (emphasis mine) and link are from Red Pill Dad Pua’s blog, you should check it out.

Let’s get to the heart of this post shall we?

Trad-Con males. Or guys in general that slut shame and are “anti-sex.” Why are they “anti-sex?” That’s the million dollar question for me. Were they abused as children? Probably not. It’s more likely they were brought up with certain religious views and religious convictions that make sex either dirty and forbidden, or that it is only something that should be between a man and a woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. And then it’s primarily for procreation only, heaven forbid you actually enjoy sex for the sake of sex. God forbid you bust out the floggers and rope or put your woman in a choke-hold. Can’t have any of that.

The “anti-sex” people are doing a dis-service to themselves if you ask me. How are you going to be good at sex if you don’t have sex? How are you going to know if a potential partner is good at sex if you haven’t had anything as a reference point to base it off of? How are you going to know if you are sexually compatible?

Here’s what I mean by that:

I’ve had a lot of sex over the years. According to a survey I found, the average number of partners that people have over a lifetime is 7. There’s other studies and whatnot out there that are basically saying the same thing, so for now, I’ll accept 7 as the average number of partners that both men, and women (I know, I know, hush) have over a lifetime. So according to this particular survey, not only have I had a lot of sex, I’ve also had a lot of partners too. I’m way past the magic number of 7. I still don’t know if I believe this number or not. It just seems so…small.

Anyways, in all of that sex, in all of my partners, I’ve learned a lot about what pleases women in bed in general, as well as what pleases me. I’ve got experience. I’ve got enough experience that when a woman shows up in my life and we become sexually active, I have a good idea based on her actions and behaviors to know that she has either had a lot of sex, but with only a handful of guys, or she’s had some sex with a lot of guys, or both. Or that she hasn’t had a lot of experience. It actually does show up in the bedroom. I wouldn’t be able to know this without having my experiences that I’ve had.

I’m not saying any of this to brag or to shame anyone, it is what it is. A woman shows up and can rock my world? She has experience, whether it’s a lot of sex or a lot of partners or both. Any of these scenarios is neither good or bad to me, it just is. She shows up and fumbles around a lot and then tells me she doesn’t normally do stuff like this? I’m more likely to believe her. But what if I didn’t have the experience? How would I know if she was being honest or not? I wouldn’t know because I have either no reference point or a very limited reference point to base her words and abilities on.

That’s what I mean by “anti-sex” people doing themselves a dis-service. They have either no reference point at all, or a very limited one to go off of.

My biggest gut-clenching “fear” is what I remember reading in Rollo Tomassi’s Saving The Best: “I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.”  Without any reference point to base things off of, without any experience “under your belt,” this could be you. Is having experience a guarantee that it won’t happen to you? Of course not. You could meet someone and she could still end up not giving you her best. At least with experience though, you have a better chance of finding that out, even if your sex with her is fairly basic and “vanilla.”

So if you are a guy and you are “holding out” for your “special unicorn,” you might be shooting yourself in the foot. I can understand your religious convictions if that is what is stopping you, and as I’ve said in the past, you do you. Be aware that a lack of experience especially when it comes to sex, may put you at a disadvantage with women, and not just in the ability to give her good, satisfying sex.

Another reason that I personally wouldn’t hold out is something I wrote about a while back: Ray. He was a co-worker of mine that died shortly after his 30th birthday, and he died a virgin. He’s a guy that never got to experience the pleasure of sex or the pleasure of a woman. He was holding out and waiting for his “One.” At least for me, if I die tomorrow I know what sex is like, what it’s cracked up to be, what it’s not cracked up to be, what is still a mystery to me there, and what isn’t. I’ve had the pleasure of women and I’m happy and excited for more. At least I’ve had that. For me I would hate knowing that I’m dying and I never got to experience that, even if it was only once.

This is why I don’t pass up sex too often. I love and want the experience. Each woman is different in her own way. Her body is a little different from the next woman. You learn nuance after awhile. You definitely learn what works for you and what doesn’t.

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