Honor, Virtue, and Chivalry

knight in front of woman in green dress
Bending The Knee For M’Lady.

The definition of honor according to Webster: A good name or public esteem.

The definition of virtue according to Webster: Conformity to a standard of right.

The definition of chivalry according to Webster: Literally, mounted men-at-arms. Or, a gallant or distinguished gentleman.

These things all sound great don’t they? Sure they do. They all sound great on paper and in theory. However, honor, virtue, and chivalry are nothing but “container” words. What is a “good name?” You get to decide what that is. You get to put that meaning in the container. What is a standard of right? Again, you get to put that meaning into the container. Same with a gallant or distinguished gentleman. As a bonus, gallant and distinguished are also container words.

They are vague. They are “hypnotic.” What they have in common though, is expectations. When you throw around words like honor, virtue, and chivalry, what you are really doing is telegraphing your expectations. Your expectations of you, and most likely, other people. News flash: You are setting yourself up for disappointment. People are going to do what they want to do and rationalize it and justify it after the fact, but they are still going to do it. Meanwhile, you are going to be disappointed because they didn’t live up to that expectation of your definition of honor, virtue, or chivalry. But hey, you get to burn.

I’ve had a problem with honor, virtue, and chivalry because they are going to mean something different to everybody. Sort of like the word, love. We all “know” what it is, but it’s going to be different for everybody. I have a problem with honor, virtue, and chivalry because more likely than not, your definition of these words are going to differ from mine. I know I’m not going to hold you to my definition of these words, and that’s because I don’t “deal” in them. I guess I’m not “honorable, virtuous, and chivalrous” like “everybody else.”

I would rather deal in “what is,” instead of what was, or even better, what ought to be.

To me, talking about honor, virtue, and chivalry is mostly mental masturbation. We are jerking off over definitions of something that is vague and is out of reach. It’s an ideal. Philosophers both recent and long deceased have argued the merits and terms of these words, and that’s fine. I don’t care. I’m just going to live my life and “do me.”

I would rather choose to live for experiences than argue or discuss what is or isn’t honorable or virtuous. I would rather feel the burn of a good scotch going down my throat than talk of the mythical days of yore.

I would rather feel the sting of cigar smoke in my eye, especially if it brings a tear. That’s an experience.

Here’s a fun experience I had recently:

Me: “Mmmm…You are salty!”

Her: “My attitude or my skin?”

Me: “Yes.”

Massive amounts of laughter ensued.

That’s the kind of shit I live for.

Maybe my lack of interest in honor, virtue, and chivalry may make me “immoral” in some people’s eyes. I don’t care. I don’t consider myself moral or immoral. I guess I’m amoral. I do what I want to do for the experience that doing whatever it is, brings. I try not to infringe on other people and what they are doing, because I don’t care for it when they infringe upon me.

I guess I spent so many years in my head, talking about ideals and codes and what ought to be, and ultimately ending up miserable, that now as I’ve gotten older, I realize that ultimately, nobody gives a shit, and that set me free. For the most part, I can do what I want. If people don’t like it, nobody gives a shit, especially me. As long as I’m not putting you in harm’s way, I’m good.

If you want to wax poetic about honor, virtue, and chivalry, that’s totally fine by me. You do you. You do your thing. I’m not interested in those subjects though, and frankly, I don’t think I would have anything to add to it, other than what I’m saying about it right here, right now.

I’ll be over here, feeling the burn of booze in the back of my throat, smelling the sweet smell of a good cigar, tasting the spice and heat of some good food, and enjoying her salty attitude and her salty skin.

Cheers.

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Beautiful Mess

multicolored smoke

Here we are again, you and I. Which means I’m writing and you’re reading. I’ve spoken at some length about morality and my own take on it. Jack Napier and I talked about it too, on one of our Red Evenings.

I realize now what it is about so-called morality that really bugs me. It isn’t that your morality is different from mine. As far as I’m concerned, to each their own. You do your thing, just let me do mine. You don’t have to agree with how I choose to live my life, you don’t have to like it, and you don’t really even have to accept it. But please, don’t try and shove or enforce your morality upon me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

I grew up in a home where my Mother was a master at guilt and shame. When I was little and needed discipline, she tried spanking initially. Apparently that didn’t go over too well with me. As she once told me, “I put you over my knee, spanked you, you cried, and then you gave me a look that basically said, ‘C’mon, do it again, give me another.'” I guess I had a look of defiance in my eyes. I don’t remember this incident, so maybe it happened, maybe it didn’t. I’ll just take her word that it did.

She then moved on from spanking to “time out” or “grounding.” Those I remember. Not really a punishment in my book, as being told to “go to your room,” wasn’t a bad thing. That’s where all my stuff was and in all honesty, it’s where I preferred being for the most part. Oh, she realized fairly quick that sending me to my room wasn’t the punishment that she thought it was, and so she would take things away so that I could utilize or interact with them. Still wasn’t a big deal to me. Having a strong and powerful imagination does wonders. I could literally sit and stare at a wall and entertain myself. Still can to this day if I so desire.

On a side note: on a few of the occasions that I was grounded, like during the summer, and I wanted to go outside, but wasn’t supposed to, all I had to do was “help” Mom around the house. A few “accidents” where plates and glassware ended up broken while doing the dishes, or getting under foot while she was vacuuming or dusting, and she would get exasperated with me and tell me to go outside. Think brier rabbit and the brier patch.

But sure enough, she found my Achille’s heel. Enter guilt and shame. All she would have to do is say something like, “Look what you did. You hurt Mommy really bad when you did that.” It was all over from there. A couple of tears from her, a few well placed words and I was done for.

And that shit went on for years. She got so good at it, it became second nature to her. I don’t think she was even aware that she was doing it after awhile. I don’t hold it against her, well, not much at least. It was one of the major reasons that I minimized my exposure to her as I got older and got on with my life. I didn’t want or need to hear that shit anymore.

My tolerance for guilt and shame is at an all time low these days. I barely tolerated it from my own Mother, and at least my Dad doesn’t pull that shit with me. I barely tolerated it from my own blood, why in the hell would I even dream of tolerating it from someone not even related to me? Why would I even consider it for one second of one moment from a complete stranger?

Feminists and white knights do this tactic all the time on Men. I’ve seen it so often that it doesn’t even faze me anymore. It’s expected. It’s what they do. I just shake my head, roll my eyes, laugh, ignore, and move on. But when it comes from people who claim to be “on your side,” that’s when I take issue.

I used to be very liberal when I was younger, hell, once upon a time, I considered myself a Democrat and voted that way for the most part. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself a lot more moderate, and even conservative in many of my views. Not necessarily a full on Republican, but definitely more Libertarian in my political views.

It’s the Traditional Conservatives that I seem to have a love-hate relationship with these days, and it’s because they dress like me, talk like me, act like me, and have very similar views as me. And then they start with the guilt and shame. They are no better than the feminists that they claim to despise. In fact, they are just the other side of the same coin. Same tactics, guilt, and shame. They just tend to dress better, tend to look better, and tend to be healthier in their weight and diet. Otherwise, there is not much difference between them and the feminists. Just better looking women is all.

If you are using guilt and shame, especially when it comes to what I do in the privacy of my own home and bedroom, you have the problem, not me. What I do behind closed doors is none of your business.

Trying to whitewash sexuality isn’t going to work bud. Trying to sanitize and diminish the sexual libido will only intensify it. While you wail that “PUA’s” and “men of low repute” are “spoiling your women” for you, understand this:

Your women are just women. Nothing more and nothing less. They are human beings full of desires and emotions. Trying to control that through guilt and shame, for them and for other men, is just going to backfire and blow up in your face eventually. All they are going to do is take those desires and hide them from you. Then they will find someone like me, who will accept their desires as normal and natural, and I will listen to them. I won’t judge them for what they yearn for. All I will do is accept it for what it is, and then become the invitation for them to act on those desires if they so choose.

I don’t know how someone cannot or will not appreciate an earthy, lusty woman. Someone who is fully embracing her sexuality and her desires and has no fear of showing them. All of the women I meet show me this side of them, eventually. Definitely sooner rather than later, and I love that about them. And no, these aren’t the “empowered, multicolored hair, don’t shave the pits, but shaves the side of the head, with a million piercings and tats” women. These are the girls next door. These are the so-called “sunhat gods.” These are the women who dress modestly, at least for you. These are the “fresh as a summer breeze, smells nice, and sits in a pew on Sunday,” women. These are the women that you want to “wife up.” These are the women that you wait six months before having sex with. These are the women that you marry.

All Women Are Like That. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

A guy I follow on Twitter, @gospodin_rey, summed it up beautifully:

While you joke about degeneracy, the wild animal soul inside each one of us yearns to break out of the cage we put it in. And our giving permission to women and the world around us, to live true to the animal soul, is addictive and beautiful, key to the human experience.

But once you let the animal out, it is by definition… wild. And most people aren’t built for the jungle. We’re all trying to figure this crazy world out. We’re in a jungle whether we like it or not.

We are a sweaty, smelly, emotional, hormonal, lusty, angry, cranky, beautiful mess. Ignore and deny this at your own peril. Downplay it to your own dissatisfaction. Accept this for what it is and work with it, or perish on your platitudes. The choice is yours.

Welcome to the Jungle.

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Morality Part 2

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A few days ago, I talked about unfollowing a few dudes, and I touched on morality. I couldn’t quite express myself well enough, as to why it bugs me so much, but then I found this conversation on Twitter. As you can tell, I’ve wiped out the names of all the parties involved to protect their identities.

The original tweet, which I’ve added above, seems to start out innocent enough. The person wants to have a discussion about the Red Pill being “anti-Christian” or not. Now follow my line of thought here carefully…

I think this question is a loaded question. In short, it’s a trap. I don’t believe the OP of the tweet is really looking for a debate, I think the OP is looking for someone to come along and agree with them that the Red Pill is indeed “anti-Christian.” But, let’s have a look at the bio of the author of the tweet shall we?

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Uh oh. The author is Christian. God, family, health. In that order. Plus a pinned tweet that is scripture from the Bible. Okay. So we aren’t really here to have a debate are we? The OP is either looking for confirmation bias, or would most likely throw out anything that doesn’t conform to his or her beliefs.

Moving right along….

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Okay, the OP is stating his or her position that the Red Pill is in fact, “anti-Christian.” Nothing wrong with that except that the Red Pill isn’t an ideology. It’s a praxeology. Basically it is a set of tools to help one navigate through the minefield known as inter-gender dynamics. It doesn’t have dogma or a book of scripture that you follow. The Red Pill is neither moral or immoral. In fact, it is amoral. Much like a hammer or a firearm, the Red Pill is simply a tool. Put a hammer in the hand of a carpenter, and he can build you a home, an office, or any other type of structure that provides comfort and shelter. Put the hammer in the hands of a serial killer and we have death, mayhem, and serious bodily harm. The hammer itself is amoral, it falls back on the user and the user’s intent. Same with the Red Pill. I really wish these guys would stop trying to equate the Red Pill with ideology.

Anyway, let’s go a little further shall we?

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Now we are getting to the heart of the matter. The reply here, mentions what I just talked about, that the Red Pill is a tool. So far, so good. But then we go down a slippery slope with the addition of, “[those] who use it to justify depravity are the issue.” Followed up by the OP replying with, “Now we’re getting somewhere. I was hoping my question would bring out this point.”

This is where I take issue with morality. This is the very message, the very thing that “triggers” me or sets me off.

The OP just revealed what he was looking for. He doesn’t really want a debate, he wants to discuss “depravity.” Of course depravity is going to be defined by his religious beliefs, his scripture, his book. And of course, he is going to be on the side of the righteous and the moral. He’s drawn his line in the sand and he’s on the “right” side of it. Depravity is the issue indeed. But my question is this:

Why is depravity the “issue?” If you are living by whatever moral code that your faith, your church, your god insists upon, what’s the issue? The issue is that other people aren’t living by your faith, your church, your god. That’s the fucking issue.

This is why I don’t follow TradCons on social media. They want to use something that is amoral, in this case, the Red Pill, and put it through their religious belief system. I don’t have a problem with anyone using something like the Red Pill for their own intents and purposes, but let’s not try and push, force, or persuade me to see it in the same light okay?

What you do with the Red Pill is up to you. If you want to use it within your religious belief system in order to find a mate, build and maintain a strong marriage, and have children, by all means please do so. And if you are someone that wants to live a bachelor, playboy lifestyle, never settling down, banging different women on a daily basis, by all means, that’s your right to do so as well.

But when you start speaking of “depravity is the issue,” guess what? Your mask is slipping.

What do you honestly care what I do with my life and how I do it? When did what I do in my own home, behind closed doors, become your business? Guess what? It’s none of your business. Back the fuck off.

Tend to your own family. Tend to your own flock. Stay the fuck out of mine.

Here’s a little scripture for you:

John 8:7

“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

Yes, I’m aware that this particular scripture isn’t about depravity, I know what it means. It still stands for what I’m trying to say here.

One more as food for thought:

Matthew 7:15

“Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”

Yeah guys, your fucking mask is slipping.

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