Appreciating Women

woman holding flowers
It’s all about the Sun Hat Gods. LOL 😉

I’m probably going to catch hell from certain circles of the ‘Sphere about this essay. I imagine that there are going to be guys who will think that I’ve lost my mind and that I’m going “purple” or “blue pill” on them. I’m not. This isn’t about women all being sugar and spice and boy, do they smell nice. This isn’t about “you too can find and get your One.” This isn’t about pedestalization. In fact, it’s not really about women at all, or at least for the most part. It’s about You. Let’s carry on…

I’ve been thinking a lot about things lately, and something showed up for me that I’ve never really given a lot of thought to. Let me start off with a little back story…

The other day I was drinking and shitposting on Twitter as I usually do, and I had a conversation via DM’s with a guy that I follow and have a ton of respect for. We got to bullshitting as we do, and he sends me this link. Now in this link some asshole author called him an Esquire. The Red Pill Douche, Esq to be exact. Which got me to thinking, “this guy is fucking royalty!” That or the author of the blog post has a real hard-on for my guy. Either way, I decided right then and there that I too, wanted a title. So I knighted myself and gave myself the title of Esq. as well because, why the fuck not?

What did this little story have to do with anything? Absolutely nothing. I just decided to share it because I found it immensely amusing and immensely entertaining.

Anyways, after I knighted and anointed a few other guys and drank a couple more beers, I decided to see what my “daygamers” were up to. I have a lot of respect for these guys because they are out there in the field, hitting on the babes, getting shot down, getting the number, getting the close, and in some cases, getting the lay.

These guys are bulletproof, let me tell you. So I’m scrolling their timelines, reading their shit, and of course, links and blogs galore start showing up. And of course, yours truly has to go down THAT rabbit hole.

Many clicks later, I stumbled across a blog that I had only heard mention of, I’m sure the pick up guys will snicker and call me a noob as I’m sure this particular blog is old hat to that crew, but hey, you can teach an old dog like me new tricks.

So I’m combing through this particular blog and I stumble across a post written in 2016. It’s titled How To Appreciate Every Woman (At least temporarily), and it got me to thinking…

First off, it’s a great article and I highly recommend you read it, especially if you are a Man, and here’s what I got thinking about:

I’ve had a lot of experience with women over the years. I’m not just talking about sexually, but in general. Women don’t bother me for the most part. They are who they are, warts and all. Sometimes I see guys post some crazy shit about women, and I’m thinking to myself, “Really? Is that what happened to you? Man, that sucks. I’ve never had that happen to me, thank God.” And then I move on.

I see guys stressing about hypergamy, which is a thing, but it isn’t the be-all-end-all of women. There’s more going on there than that, and after I read that article that I just linked, it got me to thinking, “Are some guys opinions and points of view simply because they lack the experience with women that I’ve had?” Honestly I don’t know. I don’t have the answer to that question, but it sounds plausible.

Guys, I won’t know how you answer this question, so at least be honest with yourselves:

How much experience have you had relating to women? I’m not just talking sexually. And I’m not talking about family either. How much interaction have you had with them besides, “Hello, how are you? How’s your day going?”

Based on my observations, I would think that there are some guys out there that have had little to no interaction with women. And that’s okay. I’m not judging.

Like the article mentions though, what if you decided to go out there and interact with women? Don’t worry about “getting the number,” or “getting the lay.” What if you just decided to talk to them? Have a conversation with them?

One of the things that I found really profound in that article was this:

Instead of looking for imperfections when you see a girl, look for her best feature.

This alone can transform your sex life.

I realize that I do this a lot. Every day, when I’m out and about, I run into women all over the place. A gigantic proportion of them I would not find sexually attractive, and I wouldn’t want to get them into bed. But I make it a point to find something about them that I find attractive, at least for that moment.

Maybe it’s her hair. The length of it. The color. The way she styles it. Maybe it’s the way she pushes her glasses up onto her nose. Maybe it’s her smile, or the way she snorts when she giggles. Maybe it’s something she is wearing. Maybe it’s her perfume.

I’ve even been able to find something attractive about a tatted up, pierced, and multi-colored hair SJW. After all, she is still a woman (at least as far as I know) and she may be pissed off at the world, but chances are it’s because she drank too much of the kool-aid.

So guys, you want to “up your chances” with women? You need to get out there and meet women and interact with them. It doesn’t mean you have to bed every woman you meet. Just talk to them. I challenge you to find one thing, just one thing that you can find attractive about her, and focus on that. See where it goes. You might surprise yourselves.

Picking up women is a numbers game. In many cases, as I have found through my own personal experience, it’s also a matter of being the right guy, in the right place, at the right time.

So here’s my challenge to you, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with women:

Go out and do your things like you always do. (That means you have to leave the house.)

See women all around you, and they really are all around you, so pay attention.

Every woman you see, find something about her that you find attractive. Could be anything. Her hair, her clothes, the way she walks, her laugh. Literally anything.

Make a mental note to yourself of whatever it was. Talk to her if you want. Or don’t. Move on. Rinse and repeat.

Our society and our culture has men and women at war with each other. It doesn’t have to be this way. It starts with you making a choice. Choose to look for something attractive about her when you see her. I don’t care if you talk to her or not. I don’t care how old she is. I don’t care if she’s “not your type.” Just find one thing, that one thing, that you can say to yourself that you find attractive about her. Instead of looking for reasons to reject her, look for something that you like about her.

It brings the humanity back to her. It takes the “us versus them” mentality down a notch.

One of the things that I have noticed is this: The more you can find something attractive about a woman, the easier it gets to talk to her. The more “experience” you have with women, the more success you will have with women. The more you interact with women, I’m not talking about texting and doing stuff online, I’m talking real life, face-to-face interactions with them, the more their humanity comes out. This whole, us vs them mentality starts to fade.

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And Now Here’s Something We Hope You’ll Really Like!

download
Presto!

So the last couple of days, maybe a week or so, I’ve been reading “Finally Some Good News,” and “The Pussy” from the author Delicious Tacos. His material is raw to say the least. For a guy who is anonymous, and I’ve never met him, at least as far as I know, he’s got to be one of the most honest men I’ve ever read in my life.

His material isn’t for everybody, that’s for sure. Dark in many places, even bordering on nihilistic, and it’s more about the sex than anything I’ve read in awhile. If you have delicate sensitivities, I’m warning you now, you’ll probably not want to read his stuff. But if you want to have a gander inside of a man’s mind, his mind at least, check him out.

Delicious Tacos has said some things that I’ve found thought provoking to say the least.

Here’s a quote from The Pussy:

You solve writer’s block by eating shit and being in agony for years. Force yourself to hammer out worse than useless garbage for hours that feel like lifetimes. Every day, until something clicks and you suddenly need it as therapy.

This quote stood out to me for a couple of reasons. Lately I feel that the “creativity well” is drying up. Every day it gets harder to think about things to write about, let alone actually write about them. Most of the time I think, “why bother? No one gives a shit.” And in all honesty, that’s true. No one gives a shit. And I think, why am I doing this? Why am I writing on this blog? What the fuck am I doing here? And yet here I am, running my mouth yet again, or pounding on the keys is more like it. Screaming into the Void.

I sit down and write a post, craft it lovingly, and I think to myself, “This is the one! This one! This one will finally get some traction!” And so I hit “publish,” the post goes live when it’s supposed to, and…..Crickets.

And I’m like, “Damn…”

And then I post a rant and the fucker takes off. Go figure. In all seriousness though, I owe a huge debt of gratitude and thanks to some of my guys on Twitter. A couple of retweets of my posts and I feel like Stephen King going to the bank to cash a check from all the royalties. I guess I write some things sometimes that are relevant or hit a nerve. Timing is impeccable sometimes.

Another quote from Delicious Tacos that stood out for me:

The purpose of this hobby web site is to help other people feel less alone. You can feel less alone about good things too. Hopeful things.

That one really got under my skin. That’s part of why I write too. Whether you read and comment or not, I like to think that it (my site) helps you out in some way. Even if it is just that you feel a little less alone.

It does for me. I feel a little less alone fantasizing and imagining people reading my shit and getting something from it. Which then makes me wonder about my audience. Who are you? Where do you live? What do you do for a living? Are you single? Divorced? Widowed? Some of you I know because of my newsletter. You guys rock, you are Kings amongst commoners. You all know who you are.

I imagine that the majority of my readership are Men. And why wouldn’t you be? I’m a Man, writing about Men shit for the most part, catering specifically to Men. But I do imagine that some of my audience are women. I mean, I know that some of you are, or at least one or two of you. Which makes me wonder, what are you getting from my site? Is it just general curiosity? Is something I’m saying making your life better? Are you taking notes and handing them off to your brother? Or a boyfriend? Husband? Is it my mug? Do I make you laugh? I don’t dwell on these questions too often, but they do come up from time to time.

Here’s something completely random and out of left field:

There’s been many times on Masculine Geek, I’m sitting there chilling, Vince is doing whatever he’s doing, I’m watching the guys on the chat doing their thing, and TJ is “being brief,” and out of nowhere, I start thinking, “I wonder if there’s any women watching the show right now.” As far as I know, when it comes to the chat at least, they’re all dudes. Awesome dudes. Intelligent dudes. Dudes from all walks of life, from all over the globe. And they are choosing to spend a couple of hours with me and my amigos on a Wednesday night. I love you guys. You are the best audience in the world. I’m blessed and humbled with you choosing to spend time with me. You could be doing anything else in the world, and here you are, choosing to shoot the shit with me. Thank you guys. Seriously.

But, “where da wimmin at?” I know you ladies are watching. I can feel it. Okay maybe I can’t. But the statistical probability is that there are a couple of you lurking in the background watching us geeks doing geek shit.

In my neck of the woods, at least on Twitter, there’s been a lot of talk lately about the “Brand of Me.” Guys doing and saying shit to promote their brand, and that’s okay. I’ve been reflecting on that for a moment and I’ve come to realize that I don’t really have a “brand” so to speak. Sure, I tend to talk about things that pertain to Men and would interest them in general. At least it interests me. And that’s just it, I find it interesting. I’m actually glad that I don’t have a “brand.” I can say whatever I want now that I think about it, and it won’t be incongruous with my “branding.”

If I decide to talk about photography, it’ll work here, because that’s something that I do. Same with firearms and motorcycles. Same with VPN’s, networking, and “the dark web.” All of these things interest me. Even piracy. Yes, I’m talking about eye patches and “arrg.”

I could even talk about sex if I want to. Here’s something for Delicous Tacos if he ever happens to stumble across my humble little blog and this post:

Dude, you are like what? 40? Early 40’s? You mention your desire to have sex with damn near anything female within grabbing distance? (I’m sort of paraphrasing here.) I’ve got some bad news for you buddy. That desire? That need? That urge? It never goes away. Ever. I’m serious as a heart attack when I say that. It never goes away. I’m closer to 48 than 47 now and that urge, that desire, hasn’t diminished in the slightest. The only reprieve I get compared to when I was in my 20’s is I don’t walk around with a hard on pitching a tent in my gym shorts as often. Other than that, welcome to the rest of your life. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Let ‘Em Burn

bonfire during sunset
Enjoy The Decline.

I’m sitting here thinking about all the people I’ve met so far, all of the adventures that I have had. One of the recurring things that keep coming up, time and time again, is “how to save someone.”

The truth is, you can’t save them. Only they can save themselves. You have to let them burn. While I would like to save others, it’s not my job, nor is it appreciated for the most part. You can learn from other’s mistakes, but at the end of the day, it’s first hand experience that teaches best and teaches the most.

You see a guy about to do something really dumb when it comes to women? Let ’em burn. He’ll get the message eventually. Or maybe not. Maybe he’s going to make that same mistake over and over until the end of his days. Not your problem. Not my problem. Don’t get me wrong, once he falls on his ass and burns, if he’s willing to take my hand, I’ll help him up and dust him off, help him get going again. But he’s got to burn first. He’s got to feel that pain, that loss, that total sense of “I fucked up royally,” in order to get where he needs to go.

You see a woman about to do something that could potentially fuck her entire life up? Let her burn. I’m pretty sure it goes against our nature as Men to stand by and watch a woman flush her life, her looks, her health, and her beauty down the toilet, but you got to let her burn. It may be the only way to truly help her. She needs to understand that there’s consequences for her actions and her behaviors. “Saving her from herself” will only teach her that it’s okay to be irresponsible, and she’ll just keep doing the stupid shit that she’s doing and she’ll keep expecting that someone will bail her out. I’m pretty sure this is part of why we are where we are now in today’s world.

And speaking about our modern world, where we are now, you can’t save society from itself. I’m not trying to be cynical and “doom and gloom,” but do you really think you can save an entire society by yourself? Especially one that seems hell-bent on destroying itself? I’m not talking about giving up hope, downing a bunch of drugs and booze and ultimately slitting your wrists or putting a gun to your head, because fuck it, why the hell not? I’m talking about carving out a life for yourself and yours that works for you. In the past, under the worst conditions, under the most oppressive regimes, in the darkest of times, people carved out lives for themselves. They made it work with what they had. They had their moments, they had their joys. They thrived in their own ways.

That’s what Enjoy The Decline means. Carve out a life worth living for you and yours. Enjoy the moments, both big and little as they come. Laugh. Celebrate your achievements, all of them, big and small. Don’t worry about saving the world. The world was here before all of us and will be here long after we are all gone.

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I tweeted the picture above a little while ago. There’s two ways you can look at life. You can be sad and depressed that nobody gives a shit, or you can be happy and excited that nobody gives a shit. Either way, nobody gives a shit. I know which one I’m choosing.

I have a cat sitting on my lap while I’m typing this. He’s content, he’s full, and he’s purring. He doesn’t give a shit about society and the world at large. His whole world is 1208 square feet of a condominium. It’s all he knows. It’s all he cares about. That and when he’s getting his next meal. I can’t read his mind, and I don’t speak cat, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t give a shit what I’m typing about. I’m also pretty sure that he doesn’t give a shit about you since he’s never met you. He’s friendly enough that if you were ever to meet him, I’m pretty sure he would like you though, but until then, you don’t exist to him, and he doesn’t give a shit about that either way.

We as Men live in a time, where let’s face it, the gender war is over. We have already lost. And that’s okay. We lost that war a long time ago. For most of us, the war was already over before we were even born. We can choose to mope around, saying shit like, “we lost…” Or we can choose to say, “Fuck it! We lost! What do we want to do now?” We aren’t needed for the most part, we aren’t necessary for the most part, and for many people, both men and women alike, hell, we aren’t even wanted for the most part. And that’s okay too. We as men live in a time where we can travel the world without having to wear a military uniform in order to do it, we can come and go for the most part as we please. If you have even a modicum of muscle to your body and aren’t grossly out of shape, you can even go out and get laid with ease. Women are easy like that these days. The stigma of being a slut is gone, the stigma of being a single mother is gone, and women want to take on the “curse of man” and join him, and even replace him in the workplace, why not let them?

Guys, we are adaptable by nature. We adapt and improvise. We can adapt and overcome. It’s what we do. We are good at it if you think about it. We can adapt and improvise to this as well. Honestly we have been doing it already, maybe just not in ways that work the best for us. Time to change your mindsets about that. If we are unnecessary, what then, works for you? Do that. If you aren’t needed and you won’t be missed by many, why not do the things you always wanted to do? Go motorcycling. Go see the world. Go and flirt with the girls. If they aren’t interested, that’s okay, because in the end, nobody gives a shit, so you move on and keep going. Learn a new language because you can. We live a life of leisure when you really think about it, at least compared to days of the past.

Some will try and shame you. They’ll say, “you disgrace your ancestors.” I say, “my ancestors are dead. They aren’t watching what I’m doing. And if they are, they don’t give a shit, because nobody gave a shit back then either.” I don’t know about your ancestors, but my most recent ones, the one’s that were alive when I was young, all they cared about when it concerned me, was that I was healthy and happy. I’m both. So I’m doing just fine by their standards. And the one’s that came way before me? I didn’t exist during their time. They didn’t know me and they didn’t know of me. I guarantee that they didn’t give a shit. So why should I give a shit?

If you want to wring your hands and clutch your pearls about society, that’s okay by me. You do you. I’ll let you burn. All the shaming and self flagellation isn’t going to change the world, just in case you were wondering. But hey, once you are done doing that, I’ll help you up, dust you off, and maybe we can drink a beer and enjoy the decline.

And if you are a woman, maybe when you stop shaving the side of your head, stop dying your hair multiple colors, you decide to shave your pits and your legs, and you lose a bit of weight, I’ll tease you for being the silly girl that you’ve always been, and we’ll drink a beer and enjoy the decline. Or you can keep railing against “the patriarchy,” you can focus on your corporate career (which no one gives a shit about except you, even your corporate masters don’t give a shit about you, you’re just another cog in the machine, trust me, I know) and you can keep telling yourself that your education and your things that you buy are more important than the people in your life. It’s okay, I’ll let you burn. Maybe you’ll figure it out in time, maybe not. Either way, nobody gives a shit. Not really. And that’s okay.

Enjoy the Decline.

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