Tag: manosphere

Let ‘Em Burn Part 2

Rob SaysLeave a comment

fire warm radio flame

The Latest Dumpster Fire Brought To You By BullRush.

Hang on with me here for a minute while I give you some definitions. I promise, there’s a point to it.

The definition of sadism: A delight in cruelty. Yes, there’s a sexual component in the main definition as well, but for the purposes of this article, I’m not using the sexual part, just the delight in cruelty.

The definition of masochism: pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering.

Normally, I’m not one to go back and read my blog posts once I’ve done the initial proof-reading and submitted it for posting. I’m definitely a “one and done guy” when it comes to what I write. Otherwise I would be constantly going back, changing shit up, adding something here, deleting something there, and the work would probably never see the light of day. My perfectionism in what I do is one way that I definitely set myself on fire.

I had to go back today though and read my first post about letting them burn. I wanted to make sure that what I’m going to bring up today isn’t just an entire repeat and rehash of that prior work.

Side note:

I’m really proud of that post. I’m also really proud of myself that I didn’t go back and start nitpicking it and rearranging it like I thought I would. I guess while I doused myself in gasoline with the thought of going back and revisiting it, I didn’t actually strike a match and set myself on fire.

The post still stands. I should hope it does, since it’s sort of my mantra.  Most of the stuff I write about is more, “notes to myself” than anything.

Here’s a funny thing I’ve realized:

I have a little sadistic streak. I get a little giddy when I watch someone burn. I find myself giggling when it happens. I’m not going to lie, it’s fun to watch them burn. I want to pull out the marshmallows and start cooking them over the fire, and then ask them, “How’s that working out for ya, bud?” But I know they won’t hear me over the sound of the flames.

I’m beginning to think in terms of sadism and masochism lately. The only thing I can think of when someone sets themselves on fire is that they want to burn, that they want to suffer. You and have both seen someone set themselves on fire again and again, over the same issue or issues. I’m thinking that if you do that, you’re probably a masochist. You enjoy the suffering. With the power of the internet at your fingertips, a group of Men in the ‘Sphere who are willing and able to help you out, and you ignore that help, or even better, you refuse it? You are a masochist in my eyes. You definitely get to burn. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you are a decent person, but burn you will. And I will enjoy watching it happen. I’ll warm my hands over your fire.

Every now and then, I’ll stumble across someone burning and get this impulse to want to help them, to save them from themselves. I have to take a step back, take a deep breath, and tell myself, “Let ‘Em Burn.” And then I can smile and nod, tell them what they want to hear if necessary, and get on with my life. I don’t get nearly as pissed off as I used to.

I have empathy, believe me I do. Whatever dumb shit someone is doing at that moment, I’ve probably done it before. So I most likely know where they are coming from. I just don’t do pity. I’m not going to feel sorry for myself when I set myself on fire, and I’m not going to feel sorry for you or anyone else when they set themselves on fire. You just get to burn.

I’m finding myself wanting to add fuel to that fire these days. It’s that sadist in me. Instead of just sitting back and roasting marshmallows, I’m wanting to “agree and amplify” the inferno in front of me. I’m thinking and hoping that what will happen is that you will burn hotter, faster, and brighter than before, and therefore you’ll burn out or put your own fire out faster so that we can get on with the business of getting on. Maybe that will work out. Maybe not. We’ll see. Time will tell.

Guys, if you are going to take “Let ‘Em Burn” to heart and actually use it, you’re going to have to get merciless and ruthless, especially with yourselves. Don’t do pity on yourselves. Don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Don’t kill yourselves when you set yourselves on fire, but don’t have a pity party either. It’s okay when you burn, that’s hopefully when and where you will learn about yourselves. Maybe you won’t be so eager to light another match on the next go around. Then again, maybe you’re a masochist and you enjoy your suffering. I understand that too. And if you want, I’m more than happy and willing to help you in that endeavor as well. I like to watch people twist in the wind. I enjoy the bonfires. The marshmallows are especially tasty when I’m toasting them over you. I enjoy it when I roast those babies over myself. Guess I’m kind of a masochist too.

When you’re either done burning and have put yourself out, or it burned out on it’s own, I’ll be there for you if you would like. I can either hand you a damp towel so that you can wipe the soot off of your face, or I can hand you another container of gasoline and another match.

Either way, I’m good.

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The New Little Rascals Building Forts

Rob SaysLeave a comment
two-cats-one-box-fort-asshole
The Problem Is, You Can Only Have One Asshole In Fort Asshole

Hat tip to Nick August, @StoicRed1 on Twitter, for the title and the inspiration for this post.

Without knowing it at the time, Nick brought up something for me that has been an itch that I’ve been needing to scratch. His quote above brought it to the surface for me, and now, hopefully, I’ll get to scratch that motherfucker.

So here’s the deal:

I’ve always considered myself as a guy who is interested in what “is” instead of what “ought to be,” or what “was.” I’ve always been interested in improving myself instead of trying to be a part of a group. I know that the desire to be a part of something “bigger” is a real thing, and we are herd animals by nature. We are social, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’ve been a part of different groups over the years. Everything from the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts when I was a kid, to having a band in high school, to being in an honor society during college, and the last group that I affliliated with and belonged to was a Motorcycle Club. I understand group affiliation and the need to belong.

I also understand that you should seriously consider what it is that you’re looking for before joining a group. TJ Martinell wrote about it awhile ago, and it had something to do with “gamma’s” and also if you want to know how the group is, look to its leader. How is the leader, or leadership? The problem that I’ve encountered with most groups, especially those that are online, is that nothing actually gets accomplished or gets done except for possibly the “worship” of the leadership, and a lot of back patting each other. A lot of sitting around, talking shit, buying yet more “courses” or “secret information” from the leadership, a lot of digital “high-fives,” and a lot of mental masturbation.

I’m not part of any online groups at this time, other than hanging out with the guys from Masculine Geek. I do know and have happened to talk to some guys who either are, or were, a part of some online “exclusive” groups, groups coincidentally that you had to pay some sort of fee to join, and these people have given me a small taste of what is going on in these online groups. All the shit that I just mentioned? Yeah, that’s what’s going on.

Larping with a side of mental masturbation is what is going on. That and for a lot of guys in these groups, a lightening of their wallets. Personally, I don’t have an issue with the leadership fleecing its flock. A fool and his money are soon parted, or something like that. Sometimes that is the lesson that is needed. “What did you get out of that group, bud?” “Nothing but broke. But hey, I won’t be doing that again!” You get to burn.

The New Little Rascals Building Forts. In this case, cardboard box forts. Forts made of farts and hot air. But don’t worry Brother! We are going to save the West! Join us now and together we will rule the galaxy as father and son!

Ooops, my bad, wrong quote.

The West can’t be saved because it doesn’t want to be saved. It would have already been saved by now, but here we are, on an express train to hell, with no engineer at the controls, and if you were to get inside the engine cab, you would find that the controls are broken and nobody has the manual or the tools to fix it. And nobody wants to fix it. Except for maybe that one leader guy and his seven subscribers to his online group. But even they don’t want to “Save the West.” They just want to talk about saving the West. The leader just wants to keep them around longer in order to get more money from the monthly memberships and whatever online courses he can sell to them. Otherwise, he’ll have to go back out in the real world and get an actual job. But fuck it, you’ve got money to blow and the camaraderie is awesome, so why not?

I’m more interested in how I can be more self-sufficient and how the world actually operates, instead of how I wished it operated. I understand that a Man cannot be an island unto himself, that teamwork gets things done faster, better, and more efficiently. But when the leadership and the group itself has no real idea of what is going on, and they have no real idea of how to deal with the situation that they claim to know about, yeah, that can be a problem. But hey, go ahead and join that group and build a cardboard box fort with your new buddies. Tell me how’s that working out for ya, bud?

Like most platitudes, mantras, and slogans, “building forts” is another narcotic. It makes you feel good getting those high-fives and back slaps, but at the end of the day, are you actually accomplishing something? Did you learn a skill? Are you learning something of actual substance?

Or did you get the latest “secret?” The latest “insider information?” If whatever it is made you feel good, it’s probably bullshit and a narcotic. Have fun with that. At least when I hang out with my group, I drink beer.

I’ll be over here dealing with “what is,” instead of building paper forts with the buds.

Honestly, you would be better off looking for something in your locality, literally in your own neighborhood when it comes to joining a group. At least I got to drink and ride with my Brothers in the club and we had each other’s back when shit went down. Real life beats online hands down, every time.

Like Nick said, “The question is, what do you need for the most important part of your journey, the part where you have to go it alone?” Are your buddies in their digital online fort going to be there for you? Probably not. When the money runs out, your money, let’s see where you are left standing, and who is still standing with you. Hint: I’m not going to hold my breath.

Better hope your new online buddies in your new online group, building their new online cardboard box fort are teaching you how to go it alone. You’ve got to be able to go it alone, because at some point, you’ll have no other choice but to go it alone. I guarantee you that.

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Abundance

Rob Says2 Comments
image (1)
Yoda Knows What’s Up

A Long Time Ago… In a Galaxy Far, Far Away… I got bit by the Oneitis bug. I’m not going to go back into that, except to say that since that time so long ago, my outlook on women, and on pretty much anything else for that matter, has changed.

Guys, there’s always Another.

There’s always another job.

There’s always another way to make money.

There’s always another place to live.

There’s always more things (that you don’t need) to buy.

There’s always another woman.

7.7 billion people currently inhabit planet Earth, and the number keeps growing. I touched on it here.

You want to know why shit doesn’t really bother me all that much anymore? Because there is always “another.”

Sure, each woman you meet is going to be unique in her own way. She’s going to have life experiences that other women will not have had, at least at the time that you run across her. She’s going to have her own views and opinions on how the world turns and what makes it tick. She’s going to have freckles and moles on areas of her body that no other woman will have in the same spot. Her laugh will be different from many other women’s laughs. The scars on her body, the “flaws and imperfections” will be different from any other woman’s.

But there will always be “another.” The woman that you’ve been seeing for awhile? The woman that you are dating? The woman that you married and have lived with for years and years? I’m sure she is fantastic and you can’t imagine what life would be like without her. And yet, there is another.

There is another woman out there who will be just as compatible as the woman you are with. She will have different scars and marks on her body, she may be a little shorter or taller than your current woman. She will absolutely have different life experiences and opinions than your current woman, but you two will get along just fine. You may even get along better than you and your current woman do.

So she walked out on you? So what? There’s another woman out there for you. More than one actually. It hurts for awhile for me when a relationship ends, especially when I’m the one not wanting it to end, but there will be another one out there for me. All I have to do is get off my ass and go out and get it. That’s all you need to do too. Get off your ass, go out there, and get it, if that’s what you want.

Don’t want an LTR? Don’t want to “play house?” That’s fine too. There are plenty of women out there who don’t want to play house or have an LTR either. It’s like grocery shopping, only the aisles are never-ending, and the shelves are always stocked.

Everything I’ve said about women also applies to things like jobs. You’re stuck in a shitty job that you hate? There’s always another one out there. It may not pay the same as your current soul-sucker, but given time, you can get the amount you want and need. Same can be said for making money in general. There’s always a way. It might be legal, it might not. That’s up to you.

If you expect your “dream job,” or your “dream girl” to just magically fall into your lap, sorry, it doesn’t work that way. You’re going to have to bust your ass to make it happen. The women and the jobs are out there, but you’re going to have to do more than just wishful thinking.

All of the things, everything that you want is out there, it’s up to you to get off your ass and go and get it. You get to do the work. You get to be rejected. You get to be denied. And then you get to do it all over again. That’s life. Get used to it.

Abundance, at least to me, means that there’s always “another.” That’s why shit doesn’t get me down or keep me down for long. There’s always another….Whatever. There’s always more friends to make. There’s always more places to visit and/or live in. There’s always another meal to be eaten and a drink to be drank. Unless maybe you live somewhere where food and water are scarce. But then again, if that’s you, you wouldn’t be reading this right now, you’d be looking for your next meal and your next drink of water. And most likely, you’d find it. I know I would.

Don’t let a woman walking out of your life get you down. Sure, take the time to grieve the loss. But then get back out there. “Get back on the horse.” Don’t sell yourself short and don’t sell your soul for “that woman,” whoever she is, because there will always be another. And maybe, just maybe, she’ll enhance your life in ways that your previous woman couldn’t or wouldn’t. Ditto for your job situation. Same for everything else.

There’s always another.

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