Tag: life and death

When Cancer Strikes Close To Home

Rob Says1 Comment

awareness cancer design pink

It’s been at least a week or more since I’ve updated my blog. It’s been even longer since I’ve updated my e-mail list and my Twitter really.

Here’s what’s been going on recently…

First I’d like to start off at the beginning. This would have been around November or December of 2015.

I was working my job as a reader when my Father called me on a Friday night and told me that he needed to talk to me. I asked him what it was about and he said that he would rather tell it to me to my face than do it over the phone.

I knew something was up and I knew it wasn’t good if that was what he wanted to do. I also knew that my Mother was in the hospital at the time. I believe at the time it was because she had blood clots either in her legs, her lungs, or both.

I tried to get my Dad to just tell me what was going on, but he was having none of it. I would have to wait until the next day to find out what was up.

I couldn’t wait, so I called my Mom on her cell phone. She answered and I asked her what was going on.

That was when she told me that she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. At that time, it had spread to her liver, her colon, and a few other places in her body.

She went in because she thought there was blood clots going on in her lungs or legs, or both, and found out she had cancer instead.

The doctor’s were optimistic. They thought that surgery and chemotherapy would take care of this particular cancer. And in the beginning, they were right.

She had her ovaries removed and had several treatments of chemotherapy over the next few months, so early to mid 2016, and the chemo killed the cancer. All of her test results came back negative. She appeared to be cured.

About 6 to 8 months later she went back for a follow up visit, only to find out the cancer was back.

She then went through another round of chemotherapy, this time a stronger version of chemo. This particular chemo almost killed her. Luckily she was already in the hospital at the time of the treatment, or she would have never made it there. It was touch and go for about two weeks initially. Would her body recover from the chemo or succumb to it?

She recovered, went through a little physical therapy because of how much the chemo had weakened her and then was initially given a choice: go home and let the cancer do its thing and die, or do another round of this particular chemo and have it kill her outright.

There was another option though. She could go back to the original chemo that wasn’t as strong, but it wouldn’t kill her. It would never “cure” her cancer, it would just hold it in limbo. Keep it in check. She would have to get treatments on and off for the rest of her life, but in theory, she could live a full life and possibly die of old age.

She chose that latter option, and that’s what she had been doing from late 2016 until a few weeks ago.

On September 1st of this year, she went back in to the hospital, she was weak and was thinking that something was wrong with either her gall bladder, or that maybe she was having blood clots in her lungs again as it was hard for her to breathe.

The doctors ran all of the usual tests on the usual areas, looking for any of the usual signs and found nothing physically wrong with her.

The only thing that was off was her blood platelets. They weren’t going back up after her last chemo treatment from a couple months ago. In fact her platelets kept going down.

The doctor wanted to check her bone marrow and see what was going on there. In order to do that her blood platelets needed to be over 50 or higher. She was at 50. Apparently if your blood platelets are at 50 or under and you get a puncture, a cut, or a wound, you can bleed to death. You don’t have enough platelets to create clotting.

So they gave her a transfusion of blood platelets and got her numbers up to 75 and were able to do the procedure. They drilled into a spot in her hip bone and extracted some of her bone marrow and sent it off to the lab to see what was going on.

The preliminary results are back and they aren’t good.

Her stem cells in her bones are damaged. They may be damaged beyond repair. If that is the case, there is nothing the doctors can do for her.

Her options will be to either receive blood platelet transfusions a few times a week, but she will never get better, she will still stay sick. Not much of a quality of life there. Or she can come home and get her affairs in order, or she can go to a center and have hospice come and administer morphine to keep her comfortable until the end comes.

My family and I knew that someday something like this would happen. We knew that the cancer itself or something related to the cancer would be what ultimately ended her life.

I know about this latest procedure she had because again, my Father called me, again while I was doing readings on a Friday night. Just this last Friday night. So three days ago as I publish this.

My Father asked the doctor about an approximate time line from the day that the test was ran until the results come back definitively.  As I write this and post this, I haven’t heard the exact and final analysis. So I’m holding out for a miracle there. But I’m not going to delude myself.

Even knowing that cancer in one way or another is what is going to kill my Mother, and I’ve had a couple of years to prepare for that, it still took the wind out of me when my Father gave me that estimated time line.

Four to six weeks. That’s her time left. That’s what she has remaining.

 

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The Future of Us

Rob Says1 Comment
dangerous crime safety security
It’s Coming.

This is probably going to be one of my “darkest” and “grimmest” posts to date, but I have to go there.

For a long time, at least for the last two decades, maybe longer for me, I’ve had, for lack of a better phrase, a “sense of dread.”

Our economy at the moment is doing well, better than it has in a long time, but I don’t think it’s enough. If we are to survive as a country economically, we need to be way better off than we are.

While our economic conditions have improved somewhat, our cultural conditions have worsened. It seems like everyone is polarized. Definitely more so than 10 or 20 years ago. Tensions are high and I honestly think it’s just going to get worse. A boil over point is coming.

2020 or 2024 is going to be interesting to say the least.

I’ve always figured that our country is going to experience another civil war. I just didn’t figure that it would be in my lifetime. I’ve had to reconsider that in light of the last few years. Now I’m thinking that it will happen in my lifetime and that I’m going to be affected by it, maybe even an active participant in it. If it does happen, we will all be affected and most likely will be participants in it.

Societies decay over time. It’s a natural part of the life cycle for them. I do believe that we are in that declining phase and it’s just a matter of time before the last breath runs out of it.

I don’t know if we can stop the decline or reverse it. I believe that we’ve gone too far for that. If that is the case, we need to face the inevitable.

The Boy Scouts of America have a motto:

Be Prepared.

I agree with this motto 100%.

As men, not only should we be taking care of our health and our bodies, not only should we be taking care of our finances and our families, we should be preparing for the possibility of war in our neighborhoods, on our streets, in our backyards, in our very homes.

I wish that all the talk about “positive vibes in the universe,” was true. But it’s not. Maybe on an individual level we can make a difference in people’s lives and that may slow the decline, but I don’t think it will stop it.

There are too many people that want war. This is on both sides of the political spectrum. There are too many people that are polarized. There are too many angry souls out there. Too many people are against something instead of standing for something.

When you look at your life, especially if you are angry, what are you standing for? Or is it more likely that you are standing against something?

Let’s have a couple of examples of what I’m talking about shall we?

Trump versus Hillary. I know of many people who have told me that they didn’t vote for Trump, they voted against Hillary.

Think about the slogan that was being chanted during the election. It’s her turn. Not, it’s Hillary’s turn. No, it’s her turn. The masculine versus the feminine.

What about “pro-choice” versus “pro-life?” Strip away the religion and politics, abortion is still technically murder. It’s the killing of a life form. Are people who are “pro-choice” really choosing murder? Maybe. Or is it that they are against “pro-lifers” because of the politics and the morality?

What about the war on masculinity that is going down right now in real time? You are either for feminism or against it. If you are against feminism, does that make you pro-masculine? Does that make you “toxic?” Does that make you “sexist” and a “misogynist?”

There are those who would most definitely say yes.

Now that women can earn and even out earn men in the workforce, women’s provisional needs are being met by the women themselves. The feminists are right about “not needing a man” for that one. So where does that leave the men out there?

If you are a beta male, which at least 80% of the population are, it leaves you out in the cold. MGTOW might be your best option in that case. Worst case, you’ll end up an Incel.

The “Age of Chad” as Rian Stone put it is coming. Alpha fucks is coming. Hell, it’s here. You don’t want to go MGTOW or be an Incel? Better “alpha” up.

I don’t know how all of this is going to end, I don’t know when it’s going to happen, but it’s going to happen. There will be a revolution. I just hope that it will be as peaceful as possible, but I doubt that will be the case. Blood will most likely be shed, and probably lots of it. War is coming.

Time to prepare yourselves if you haven’t already.

Learn self defense. Train yourselves to be a weapon. Learn how to use weapons. Learn how to make your own bullets.

 

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The Most Unpleasant of Unpleasant Truths

Rob SaysLeave a comment
shallow focus photography of silver skeleton statue
The One Who Always Comes for You in the End.

I’ve covered this particular topic many times in the past. The most recent was here. I’ve also mentioned it to my e-mail subscribers on more than one occasion as well.

Why do I keep going over it? Why do you see, hear, and read other Men talking about it? It’s because it’s that important and if you don’t recognize it, realize it, and most importantly, do something about it, you’ll never change. You’ll never get better than what you already are.

What is it that I’m talking about?

You are where you are in your life because of you and the choices you have made thus far. In short, your life is your fault. All of it.

Only you can decide for yourself if and when you want to do something different. Only you can give up your excuses. Until you do, you will stay right where you are. You will do nothing different, you’ll be nothing different, and you’re life will continue to go down the path that it is on. For some of you, that means your life will go nowhere.

Then one day you will die. And that will be it.

Over.

Finished.

Done.

When are you going to do something different? On your deathbed? Nice try, but too late then.

What are you putting off doing today for tomorrow?

Let me take the suspense and the drama out of it for you. There’s no tomorrow. There’s no, and I mean, ZERO guarantee that you’ll be around tomorrow.

Is this “too heavy” for you? Too serious? Too “dark?”

I’ve got news for you. I don’t care what you think about it. Neither does life, nature, the Universe, or what we know as reality, care either.

So what’s stopping you? Fear? Shame? Guilt? Mom and Dad’s approval? What excuse are you using to stop from truly living?

When are you going to do what you truly want to do? 5 years from now? 10? 20? Never?

If you are going to live your life trying to “do the right thing,” if you are going to live for someone else’s expectations, if you are going to live to “serve other’s,” guess what? You might as well not be alive at all.

If you want to serve other’s, you have got to serve yourself first. In order to give someone else 100%, you’ve got to give 100% to yourself first. Whatever you are giving to yourself is the most that you can give to someone else.

Giving yourself 50%? That’s the maximum you can give to other’s. 25%? Less? That’s all you will be able to give to other’s. At a maximum.

Stop putting off your life. Stop procrastinating. Go pick up chicks. Start your own business. Go travel and see sights and do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Stop seeking approval from other’s. Stop waiting around. Time is NOT your friend on this one.

You can always make more money. You can always get another job. You can always start another business. You can always get another woman. You can always get into another relationship. You can always make new friends.

You can’t, I repeat, you cannot get your time back.

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