Love is….

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Love is… Looking at them, looking deeply into their eyes, seeing the sparkle… Feeling that jolt of electricity racing through your body… Your heart pounding in your chest… Feeling the tingle of excitement and anticipation as you move towards them…

Love is… That first touch of their skin on yours…Fingers in their hair…Running down their arms…Touching finger to finger and locking hands together….

Love is… A slamming of the door….Raised voices…Angry voices…The screech of tires of a car leaving….

Love is… Seeing them for the first time… The laugh lines on their face… The twinkle in their eyes… Hearing the sound of their laughter… Seeing your future right then and now… Knowing that this person will change you… Has changed you… Forever.

Love is… Not being able to call them back to you… To say you are sorry… To take it all back… The accident… So swift… So sudden… So utterly, terrifyingly brutal…

Love is… Holding them in your arms… Feeling their body against yours… Their body heat mingling…Their sweat…Tasting them…Tongues in each other’s mouths… Their passion… Their heat…The orgasm…

Love is… The swift finality… The looking at pictures of the past… Knowing you can never get it back… The removing of personal belongings… The cleaning out… The cleaning up…

Love is… Your heart being filled with joy… And light… A sense of completion…

Love is… Sharing your lives together… Growing old… Together…

Love is… All of the laughter… All of the tears… All of the joy… All of the pain…

Love is… The complete loss… The shattering of your heart into a thousand pieces… When they leave you for another… When they wither from a crippling disease… And die in your arms…

Love is… The funeral… The grave… The absolute loss…

Love is… The hugs… Those magical embraces… That stop time… Your arm around their waist… A slap on the ass…

Love is… Their head on your shoulder while watching a storm… Hearing their sigh of contentment… Their feet against your side while curled up on the couch while reading a book…

Love is… Washing each other’s backs in the shower… Combing their hair…

Love is… Kissing them before leaving for work… Kissing them when you get home from work…

Love is… Cooking food for each other… Drinking a glass of wine… Together… Sharing a dessert…

Love is… Telling them you love them… Hearing them say, “I love you…”

Love is… The slamming of the Door.

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It’s Been A Minute

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So it’s been a minute since I last wrote something. Life has a funny way of getting in the way. First it’s life in general, the usual shit. Car needs to be fixed, winter is here and there is snow to be shoveled. Oh and then there is the visit to the orthopedic surgeon to get your knee operated on. By the way, if you are ever in the position to need to have your knee operated on, while I don’t recommend surgery in general, in this case, I highly recommend it. Night and day difference from the word go. No need for crutches from the moment I exited the hospital and no need to use industrial strength pain killers. I could have passed on the compression socks though. On a positive note, they don’t fall down like “regular” socks. I guess that’s a good thing. And that was right before Christmas! Now it’s physical therapy, light duty on the job, and putting off writing here.

Why did I keep putting things off? First, I felt and feel that I have A LOT to say. Yet at the same time, it’s not much different from what other Men in the manosphere have been saying, and quite a few of them have been doing it longer than me and they could gather their thoughts and say what needs to be said much more clearly and succinctly than I could ever say it. My inner perfectionist has been screaming at me from day one about writing down this whole journey. “You need to make sure that what you are saying can be comprehended! Spell check! Grammar! What makes your blog so different?!” And on and on and on. The truth is, I was scared. Scared that I would be boring. Scared that nobody would actually give a shit about what I have to say. Scared that I don’t have a cool, slick blog with pretty pictures in the beginning of my post to distract whoever comes along and just happens to read what I’m saying and goes, “What?! He doesn’t have a picture of a cloud, a cat, a couple! I’m fucking out of here!” But they have to leave the Comment first. You know the comment. “Dude! Your blog sucks balls! You were random and all over the place! You didn’t use semi-colons, colons, and whatever other grammatically correct punctuation that you should be using! Your spelling was atrocious! Christ! I lost I.Q. points just trying to read your inane shit! You didn’t even have any pictures or links to Youtube or to other blogs when you found something you felt was worthwhile!” You get the picture.

I realize now that I was copping out. Is the words that come from my brain and onto the screen going to be amazing epiphanies? Probably not. Most of it has been said before and by better writers and thinkers. Am I going to get a million visitors a day, a week, a month, a year? Again, no. I don’t care though. Really this blog is actually for me rather than for anyone else. If I do happen to garner a few visitors, that’s fine, but all in all, it’s not about the people on the internet, it’s about me going through my own process. So it’s better to write and get it out of me and get it out there, warts and all. Misspellings and bad punctuation and all. It’s not like I’m trying to win the school spelling bee or win some kind of literary prize.

It’s better to write than not to write. It’s better to speak than not to speak. (I’ve got family who would argue this point.) It’s better to do than not to do.

I could go on about going on, but I’m not going to. I’ll be talking about my Red Pill journey in the next post.

And to the 5 people who viewed my blog and decided for whatever crazy reason to follow me, thank you.

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