Tag: immoral

Honor, Virtue, and Chivalry

Rob SaysLeave a comment
knight in front of woman in green dress
Bending The Knee For M’Lady.

The definition of honor according to Webster: A good name or public esteem.

The definition of virtue according to Webster: Conformity to a standard of right.

The definition of chivalry according to Webster: Literally, mounted men-at-arms. Or, a gallant or distinguished gentleman.

These things all sound great don’t they? Sure they do. They all sound great on paper and in theory. However, honor, virtue, and chivalry are nothing but “container” words. What is a “good name?” You get to decide what that is. You get to put that meaning in the container. What is a standard of right? Again, you get to put that meaning into the container. Same with a gallant or distinguished gentleman. As a bonus, gallant and distinguished are also container words.

They are vague. They are “hypnotic.” What they have in common though, is expectations. When you throw around words like honor, virtue, and chivalry, what you are really doing is telegraphing your expectations. Your expectations of you, and most likely, other people. News flash: You are setting yourself up for disappointment. People are going to do what they want to do and rationalize it and justify it after the fact, but they are still going to do it. Meanwhile, you are going to be disappointed because they didn’t live up to that expectation of your definition of honor, virtue, or chivalry. But hey, you get to burn.

I’ve had a problem with honor, virtue, and chivalry because they are going to mean something different to everybody. Sort of like the word, love. We all “know” what it is, but it’s going to be different for everybody. I have a problem with honor, virtue, and chivalry because more likely than not, your definition of these words are going to differ from mine. I know I’m not going to hold you to my definition of these words, and that’s because I don’t “deal” in them. I guess I’m not “honorable, virtuous, and chivalrous” like “everybody else.”

I would rather deal in “what is,” instead of what was, or even better, what ought to be.

To me, talking about honor, virtue, and chivalry is mostly mental masturbation. We are jerking off over definitions of something that is vague and is out of reach. It’s an ideal. Philosophers both recent and long deceased have argued the merits and terms of these words, and that’s fine. I don’t care. I’m just going to live my life and “do me.”

I would rather choose to live for experiences than argue or discuss what is or isn’t honorable or virtuous. I would rather feel the burn of a good scotch going down my throat than talk of the mythical days of yore.

I would rather feel the sting of cigar smoke in my eye, especially if it brings a tear. That’s an experience.

Here’s a fun experience I had recently:

Me: “Mmmm…You are salty!”

Her: “My attitude or my skin?”

Me: “Yes.”

Massive amounts of laughter ensued.

That’s the kind of shit I live for.

Maybe my lack of interest in honor, virtue, and chivalry may make me “immoral” in some people’s eyes. I don’t care. I don’t consider myself moral or immoral. I guess I’m amoral. I do what I want to do for the experience that doing whatever it is, brings. I try not to infringe on other people and what they are doing, because I don’t care for it when they infringe upon me.

I guess I spent so many years in my head, talking about ideals and codes and what ought to be, and ultimately ending up miserable, that now as I’ve gotten older, I realize that ultimately, nobody gives a shit, and that set me free. For the most part, I can do what I want. If people don’t like it, nobody gives a shit, especially me. As long as I’m not putting you in harm’s way, I’m good.

If you want to wax poetic about honor, virtue, and chivalry, that’s totally fine by me. You do you. You do your thing. I’m not interested in those subjects though, and frankly, I don’t think I would have anything to add to it, other than what I’m saying about it right here, right now.

I’ll be over here, feeling the burn of booze in the back of my throat, smelling the sweet smell of a good cigar, tasting the spice and heat of some good food, and enjoying her salty attitude and her salty skin.

Cheers.

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Morality

Rob Says6 Comments

belief bible book business

I’ve unfollowed a handful of people on Twitter lately. Many of these guys I’ve followed for years. The two main reasons that I’ve stopped following them is part of the same thing really. Morality.

Older guys telling younger guys to “man up.” Older guys telling younger guys, “how it was back in the good old days.” When I say older guys, some of them are older than me, some are my age, and a couple are a few years younger than me. Don’t even get me started on the young guys who are preaching morality. All I can say to them is, “I appreciate what you are trying to do, I’ll give you credit for the effort, now sit down.” Not to sound condescending to these up and coming young men, but guys, the world hasn’t even begun to fuck with you yet. You have no idea. So sit down and close your mouths.

A lot of the guys that I’ve unfollowed are preaching their version of morality. Or what they learned in sunday school when they were kids. Nothing wrong with religion. If Jesus helps you be a better person, I’m all for it. If Jesus doesn’t do it for you, but Allah does, again, I’m all for it for you. But it isn’t for me.

When I say it isn’t for me, I mean all religions. I was raised under a certain religion from a tiny boy until about the age of 12 or so when I decided that that particular faith wasn’t for me. Through many years I’ve looked into a variety of religions and none of them fit me. I’ve gone down many rabbit holes of religion looking for answers only to find those rabbit holes either dead ended, or just kept spiralling around like a maze. I finally got to a place where I realized for me, that the religion rabbit hole doesn’t contain the answers that I have been looking for, and never did. Since that time, I’ve stopped looking for answers via religion.

One thing I’ve come to realize though is this, if you need religion to be moral, you’ve got problems. Big ones. If you need a book or scripture to tell you how to lead a moral life, if you can’t figure that out for yourself, you really have problems.

Morality is such a slippery thing in a lot of ways. When I grew up in the faith that I did, God and Jesus were perfect, we weren’t and aren’t. But man, you would be guilted and shamed for not doing everything in your power to be that perfection. Nothing you could do was good enough. You couldn’t pray enough. You couldn’t ask for forgiveness enough. And while God was a loving God, and was all-knowing and all-forgiving, somehow God just wouldn’t forgive you for that one little thing that you did that one time. God was all loving and a judgmental bastard at the same time. Now I realize that it wasn’t the religion itself per-se that was the problem, it was the “flock” or the “congregration.”

Still, religion is just not for me. You do you baby, and I’ll do me.

One of the things that I realized that helped me decide if I wanted to continue following these particular individuals on Twitter was the fact that they are preaching an outdated gospel. The times that they want to get back to are long dead and gone. Honestly I don’t think those time periods ever existed, I think what they are saying is mostly wishful thinking and delusional fantasy.

“Getting back to God” isn’t going to “save the west.” That ship has sailed. Religion has been compromised. The United States may have been founded under Christianity, but it won’t be saved by it. The only messiah that is going to save you is yourself. Stop looking to other’s to save you. They won’t. Stop wishing for “the good old days.” Those days are long gone or more likely never existed. We don’t live in a Normal Rockwell painting and we never have and we never will. Stop looking to the sky for your answers, they aren’t there. They are inside of you. You know what you need to do, so do it.

I’ve always been more interested in what IS than what OUGHT to be. I may not always like what I see, but I would rather deal with what is. Reality just is. It doesn’t care about you. It doesn’t care about me. It’s completely indifferent to you and me. It’s not benign nor is it malevolent. It’s like gravity. Gravity just is. It exists but is completely indifferent to us. You can rail against it when you fall down and tell it, “that’s not how it’s supposed to be!” But it won’t change anything. Gravity will do its thing to you again when you fall down. Might as well get used to that idea and maybe work on ways to not fall down so much.

I have my own moral code, just as I’m sure you have yours. I’m not going to tell you how to live, and I probably won’t judge you for the things that you do. I may not do things the way that you do, and that’s okay. Doing things my way doesn’t make me any less moral than you. At least in my book.

So yeah, I unfollowed a few dudes. I got tired of hearing guilt and shaming tactics that I heard almost 40 years ago. I got tired of hearing about “the good old days.” I got tired of hearing about things that amount to wishful thinking, platitudes, and living in a world that isn’t the world that I occupy. I got tired of hearing about how things ought to be instead of hearing about how things are.

Jack Donovan talked about being good at being a Man, and being a good Man. There is a difference between the two. Being a good Man is a moralistic perspective, while being good at being a Man, well, sometimes you do what you got to do to get things done, and sometimes those things can be immoral, or at least amoral.

In a perfect world, I think it would be best to be both, to be good at being a Man and a good Man. But when the shit hits the fan, being a good Man goes out the window and becomes irrelevant if and when the intruder is standing in front of you with a gun in his hand. You could be a good Man, but a dead Man. I know which one I would choose given that situation.

The issue of morality has always been a pressure point for me. That’s because everybody has their idea of what is moral, and they always stand on the side of being right when it comes to morality. What is right for you may not in fact be right for me. In fact, I would rather find something that “works” and gets me results than worry about being “right.”

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