The road to hell is paved with good intentions. – Unknown

Several years ago in a prior life at a prior job, I had a co-worker who recommended a film to me. The title of that film escapes me now, but I do remember watching it, and it was terrible. It was so bad that I wanted the two hours of my life back. I remember that same co-worker asking me if I had seen the film and when I said yes, I remember them looking delighted and then offering another suggestion of something to watch. I had already seen this particular film, and it was another film that I wanted my two hours back from.

The point I’m getting at here is:

Be careful who you listen to. We all want to listen to our loved ones and our friends. We all want to listen to those people that we have a vested interest in. It’s hard not to. I even think to some degree we may be hard-wired to do this.

All of your friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and even guys on the internet probably have good intentions. Not all, but I would say most have good intentions.

Like the quote at the beginning of this article though, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

“Crabs in a bucket” is one way to look at it. It’s easy to see the crabs in the bucket when you don’t have a vested interest in the person. That co-worker that you only interact with while you are at work comes to mind and is an easy example. But what about the people you care about? Your family and your close friends? It’s harder to see that “crabs in the bucket” mentality when you are dealing with them on a daily basis or you live with them.

This isn’t anything new by any means, but the reason I bring it up is because of some recent developments in my life with people that I am close to. I’m having to reassess my involvement with certain people because of what direction they are going and what they choose to focus on. There are things that I used to believe in that I don’t anymore because they no longer serve me. Those beliefs served their purpose at the time, but now I’ve moved on. I’ve been trying to get those people close to me to move on as well, but they don’t want to yet. They aren’t ready, and that’s okay. This is where we part ways.

We tend to believe in the same things that other people that are close to us believe in. We tend to have the same points of view and that’s normal. When you change your point of view or when you change what you believe and they don’t, that’s when it’s time to reassess the situation. Sometimes it isn’t that we no longer believe in something, because we still do, it’s just that that “thing” is no longer a priority for us, while it is still a priority for the other person.

I watch guys get “stuck” in the “red pill rage phase” and I totally understand where they are because I’ve been there. The thing is, I’m not there anymore and haven’t been there for a while. I want to move on to other things and so I create a bit of distance in order to do that. When I talk to some of these people that I call friends or acquaintances though, I see they are still stuck where they are and it’s disappointing and sad. At the end of the day though, it’s where they choose to be. I just can’t be there with them anymore.

Be careful who you listen to because you can get “sucked back in.” It’s really easy when that’s where you came from or where you started. It’s easy to get caught up in old routines, old ways, and old habits. It’s easy to get caught up in outrage again. Corporations bashing on men aren’t hitting the buttons anymore? No problem, we have Karen. Karen isn’t doing it anymore? No problem, we have “LooksMax.” That isn’t doing it anymore? We have… You get the idea. Outrage is easy to manufacture. If it isn’t one thing, it’s something else.

Everybody has their “hot button.” Their “thing” that sets them off and gets them going. You and I are no different. I know what my buttons are and I keep a close eye on them because I know what will “set me off.” I do this because I know how easy it is to fall back into old patterns and habits. It’s easy to fall back on outrage and do nothing. It’s easy to get pissed off and angry. It’s much harder to do something, anything else. That’s what I want to do though, something else.

So that’s what I’m going to do. Time to say goodbye for now to some people, and it’s time to say goodbye period, to others.

Be careful who you listen to and who you spend time with. Your time is your most precious commodity and you can never get it back.

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