“My husband and your wife wanted us to be together…” – My Dad’s girlfriend on how and why she and my Dad got together.

I remember talking to my Dad a little while ago, and we got on the subject of his new girlfriend. Now by new, I mean that she and my Dad have been seeing each other for about a year now and she is the first woman that he took a shine to since my Mother died.

My Dad’s girlfriend is a year younger than my Dad, so she will be 69 in September. She’s been widowed not once, but twice. One of her husband’s died several years ago due to health complications and her last boyfriend before my Dad died from a heart attack after he had just finished shoveling snow during a winter storm a few years ago.

I joked with my Dad and told him that he needs to stay away from her since she is a “black widow” as she tends to kill the men that she is with. I don’t honestly think that she is killing the men in her life, since she isn’t receiving any sort of death benefits, especially from the last guy, but then again, I guess time will tell. Maybe she is killing them. Maybe they died to get away from her. Maybe it’s a series of unfortunate events. I tend to believe the latter.

I remember talking to my Dad, not only about her, but also about the strong possibility that there is no afterlife and therefore, there is no heaven or hell except what we make for ourselves here during our lives. He tends to agree with me. Both my Father and I aren’t “spiritual people” in the sense of believing that we have “souls” and that we go on with some form of existence after death. We’re both pretty pragmatic in that sense. Show me empirical proof of an afterlife and I’ll gladly change my mind. Until then, nah.

My Dad’s current girlfriend told him the quote that I mentioned at the beginning of this post, and from what I can tell, she firmly believes it. She honestly believes that her dead husband and my dead Mother got together wherever dead people go and decided that her and my Father needed to be together. That’s her story and she’s sticking to it.

I find it funny, not only because I don’t believe in all of that stuff, but also because I do believe in the power of proximity and “social game.” One of the things that my Dad’s current girlfriend tends to overlook or completely ignore is that they both run in the same social circles. They both share the same circle of friends and everyone there knows everybody else. All of their mutual friends practically pushed the two of them together, and why not? They are both single, they are both in reasonably good shape and health, and they both share a lot of the same values and goals. They have a lot of the same interests and have many things in common.

To me, it’s a no-brainer. He’s looking for company, she’s looking for company, they both like the same shit, why not? While it’s not the life I would choose for myself, he likes her, she likes him and they both like doing a lot of the same things together, so go for it.

It’s funny to me that women in general tend to put so many things in life out to “fate,” “God,” “the Universe,” and even “Karma.” It’s funny to me because if they only knew. If they only knew that I planned the date down to some of the most minute details and the only truly random variable was which woman was going to show up. Will it be this woman? Or will it be a different woman? Either way I’m going to go here, eat this, drink that, go see this, and then ultimately go do that.

Then again, maybe they do know, and they just don’t want to actually “see it” and admit to it. And why would they? Once you’ve seen how the magic trick is done and you realize just how simple it really is, all of the magic is gone.

Rian Stone had a great answer to a question on Twitter a little while ago. The question was: “Men, what’s one of the ways in your realm where she can earn sex with you?”

Rian answered: “Be available.”

Beautiful, simple, and to the point.

It’s not much different from “the other side” as well. A lot of guys talk about their game and how they dress and how they look and their wealth and what interesting and cool lines they used on a woman.

What if most of the time it was because you were the “right guy at the right place at the right time” though? It honestly didn’t have much to do with you except that you were there, you were available, and you didn’t step on your own dick?

Guys, let’s be honest with ourselves. We aren’t the Casnova’s that we think we are and that we want women and other men to believe us to be. We ain’t shit, and that’s okay.

We are opportunists.

We learn to recognize that she’s interested and we ideally strike while the iron is hot. We learn to give her the show without revealing the man behind the curtain. And ultimately we learn how to do this while keeping our fucking mouths shut so that we don’t give her a reason to not fuck us.

So when you are out with a woman and she’s waxing poetically about the sun and the stars aligning and that it was the Universe that brought you two together, you know in your own mind, that no, it wasn’t Karma. It was you setting the stage and dealing with the details and the logistics. All she needed to do was show up.

But you tell her with a twinkle in your eye, “I know right?! We were meant to be. It was fate.”

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