Online Dating: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.

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First off, I want to say that learning how to do day game, night game, or whatever you want to call it is better than doing online game, at least in general. With day and night game, you get immediate feedback from the girls you are approaching, you learn how to interact better socially, and ultimately you start to lose a lot of what is called approach anxiety.

I’m in agreement with the guys who say do day game or night game over online dating, learn that before dealing with the online dating world. You’ll get better results with the women that you are actually attracted to over enough time if you keep at it and are consistent.

That being said, I personally like to keep all of my options open. I don’t believe in a day game or night game only, model. The more opportunities that I can have, the better.

So here’s some things about online dating, some pro’s and con’s if you will, and ultimately why online dating works for me.

Like I said earlier, with day game or night game, you can approach a lot of women quick and get immediate feedback. No waiting around to see if they “match” or “like” you. Also there is no waiting around for feedback. Online dating takes time, much like fishing. But for me, that works.

I don’t mind baiting my lure, casting it out, and then settling in and waiting to see what happens.

First off: I’m lazy. I’ll admit it. I work 10 hour shifts 4 sometimes 5 days a week. I spend most of that time driving around, dealing with traffic, dealing with pedestrians, dealing with parking, and dealing with high temperatures in the summer and cold temperatures in the winter. I’m out in the elements most of my day. My job is physically taxing and by the time I get done with my day and I go home, the last thing I want to do, especially on the week days, is get cleaned up, jump back into my car, head back downtown to where all the action is, wander around and approach only to get shot down and then go home to go to bed so that I can get up and do it all again the next day.

At one point several years ago, I asked myself a question. I didn’t care how outlandish the answer seemed, I just wanted to get my creativity going and go from there. That question was: “When it comes to women, what do I want?”

My answer was: “I want them to come over to my house, have sex with me, and then go home.” That way, no matter what, I “won.” I “won” because they would either show up and we would have sex and then they would go home, or they wouldn’t show up because they flaked, or ghosted, or changed their minds. Either way, I was where I wanted to be: Home.

Enter online dating.

I can do it from my laptop or my phone. I don’t have to get dressed up and go somewhere to do it. I can do it from my bed before I go to sleep if I want to. I have my full time job, I have all my assorted shows, videos, audios, books, meals, housekeeping, and sleep to do. My days are pretty much full from the time I get up to the time that I go to bed. Having some spare time to literally “do nothing” is almost a foreign concept to me and I treasure it when it happens to come along.

Online dating takes longer, you’ll still get ghosted and flaked on, you have the added hassle of catfishing and spam bots, and the quality of the women has a ceiling. You won’t find hard 7’s or higher on online dating. That’s because they don’t need to use online dating because guys will approach them and hit on them at work, or at the bar, or at the grocery store, or wherever they happen to be.

You also have to realize that all women are wizards and that they will use makeup, filters, and bizarre and strange photo angles to hide what their bodies actually look like. Protip for the noobs: If all you see are head shots, she’s fat.

Since my life is pretty full and I happen to be lazy, at least when it comes to wanting to go out and “do shit,” online dating works for me. I can carpet bomb the women that I find attractive, shut down the app or the site, do whatever else it is that I need to do, and then go back and deal with any hits.

Remember my ultimate goal is to get them to come to my house, fuck me, and then go home. I’m not looking for a wife. I’m not looking for “a keeper.” I’m not looking to play house. I’m not Mr. Right, I’m Mr. Right Now. I’m a big fan of catch and release. I like sport fucking. I like slumber parties. And when it comes to attractiveness, I don’t care what strangers and assholes on the internet think. I don’t care what my Dad thinks. I don’t care what my real life friends think. All that matters to me is do I find her attractive. Does she pass the “boner test” for me? If yes, swipe right. If not, swipe left.

When I get a “match” my goal is then to get her off the app and get her on the phone. I do this by being funny and showing her that I have a sense of humor and that I’m a fun, mostly sane guy who isn’t going to murder her and bury her in a shallow grave. I’ll do 3 or 4 texts on the app and then go for the phone number.

Either I get the number and I’ll then drop the app and do everything by phone calls from that point forward, or she won’t give me the number and usually from there I move on to better prospects. My time is valuable and I don’t want to waste it. I’m still “winning” though, because I’m home.

All this whole time, my mindset, my goal, is to get her out of her house and get her into mine so that we can have sex and then she can go home. The hardest time is the first time. After that, if she and I are interested in a “round 2” it’s simply a matter of calling her up, getting her to come over, and then working out logistics.

It’s totally possible to get a woman whom you have never met and she has never met you, to show up to your house, fuck you, and then leave if that is what you want. Once you’ve done it once, you can do it again. Repetition for the win.

Have I ever had a woman show up to my house and I realize that I DON’T want to have sex with her? Yes, that happened once many years ago. Call it a learning lesson. So now once I get the phone number, I get her to either send more photos, which tend to be more revealing, or in today’s world, I can get her on something like Messenger where I can video chat with her and see what she looks like better.

Ultimately this has been a long and rambling way of saying, while online dating and swipe apps aren’t always the way to go, don’t eliminate your options. While online dating is far from ideal, it can work. Know the limitations of it. Know yourself and what it is that you want, and be realistic in your expectations. Know your own limitations. Know your strengths.

Know what you want and what are your goals and go from there.

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Observations

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In addition to writing my blog posts, shit-posting on Twitter, making my videos on Youtube, doing shows with Masculine Geek and Jack Napier, working a full time job, and hanging out on Saturdays with Mr. Skelton, I’ve also been seeing 3 or 4 different women. I don’t know where I get the time in all honesty. Maybe I’m burning the candle at both ends. I probably am, but fuck it, you only live once, so you might as well make the most of it.

One of the things that has showed up with all of the women that I’ve been seeing is this:

They all think I’m amazing. Now this isn’t meant to sound like a humble-brag, that’s not my intention. It’s just an observation I’ve had from all of the women. Now just a little backstory on these women:

I’ve met all of them online, and they are all fairly close to my age. They range from 40 to 43. Two of them are divorced, single mothers, and two of them don’t have children for one reason or another.

I can hear the screams and the shouts of outrage from the peanut gallery now, “Rob! You don’t give single mothers the time of day! You don’t have anything to do with them!” And so on and so forth. Guys, I’m not “wifeing” any of them up, nor am I getting into LTR’s with any of them either. Give it a rest, I know what I’m doing. Maybe this is one of those “Let ’em burn” moments for me. I’ve said multiple times on Twitter, “I’m the posterboy of what NOT to do,” so keep that in mind.

What I’ve found is that they are fun to be around, they are about as well adjusted as any woman can be, and man, are they lusty.

I’m starting to get sidetracked here, so let’s get back on target.

Where was I? Oh yes, the whole “I’m amazing” bit. The funny thing is, I’m not going out of my way to do anything special or unique. I’m not “pulling out all the stops” or anything like that. I’m just doing me.

I take them by the hand and lead them where I want to go. I don’t ask them permission to hold their hands, I don’t ask permission to kiss them, I put my arm around their waist when I’ve escorted them through the occasional door, and I’ve been the one to decide where we are going if we are going out for the most part. Once we figure out the day that we want to get together, I start throwing times at them that I’ll meet up with them, that work for me. Then it’s just a matter of deciding what time works best.

It has been blowing these women away, and honestly, I don’t really understand it. Aren’t all guys “like that?” Apparently not. Now granted, maybe these women made a whole bunch of poor choices when it comes to dating and in some cases, marrying the men that they chose. I’m not going to eliminate that possibility. I’m sure that factors in somewhere to some degree.

But fucking really? Are guys that inept? Is the bar really that low? Are women’s expectations so few? Is it really that shitty out there in the dating world? Understand this: I’m literally nobody. I’m a short, bald dude who is maybe average in looks. Same with my dress. Nothing too fancy or too flashy, but at least my clothing fits and it isn’t loose-ass t-shirts, cargo shorts, and flip flops. I’m not fat, but I’m not “buff” either. I’m truly just “average.”

I would almost think that I met these women from the same neighborhood, or even the same family. Their experiences with the men in their pasts seem that abyssmal and almost identical. The thing is, they aren’t from the same family or neighborhood, and one of them is from another country. If I can do something as simple as hold their hand without asking, or lead them to where I want to sit, eat, or go, and they are blown away by it, guys, you have no excuse to not get out there if you are single and start absolutely killing it.

So what are you waiting for?

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