Thoughts on Military Service, Part 3: The Bad

Morning, recruits!  The time is now 0630.  I see that you fine men are in your PT gear, sleep-deprived, bleary-eyed, and shivering in the cold.  Good!  The cold will wake you up – and you better be frosty this morning, ‘cause I got some troofs to lay down to you. 

Listen up! 

Last time, I covered some things to keep in mind about military service as a whole, and how you should, as much as possible, make it work for you.  (Otherwise, the military will gladly make you work for its own purposes.)  I also covered the differences between enlisted and officer, and which might be better route for you to take.  In short, I recommend that one try to become an officer if you’re doing to be a “lifer,” because life as an officer is relatively easier, is paid better, and garners more respect.  However, if you want to do only one tour of duty, then it’s not necessary to become an officer, and it might work against you if you’re looking for some solid job training and experience to set you up in the civilian world once you get out.  Officers are trained to be generalists and “leaders,” but also within the parameters of their particular branch.  For the short-termers out there, being a “leader” doesn’t amount to much in the civilian world, so don’t get hung up on it.

This time, I’d like to cover the bad of the military.  As with anything in life, there’s the upside and the downside.  Concerning the military, there’s definitely the bad.  But, I must also caution that, to deal with the bad, you must be in the right headspace.  As I’ve said before, the draft disappeared in 1973, and the military became an all-volunteer force in the ensuing years.  (Though men still had to sign up with the Selective Service, or risk losing some benefits of being an average citizen.) 

If you decide to join the military, no one is compelling you to. 

You’re free to go to a recruiter, of any service, and discuss options.  If the recruiter is indifferent, evasive, blowing smoke up your ass, or is just a plain dick, you can get up and walk out without signing any papers or taking any oaths.  You’re free to go to another recruiter, who might be better to deal with, or you can drop the idea of going into the military altogether. 

Again, no one is compelling you to do so.  That’s your choice, and your choice alone. 

But, if you do make the choice, then I strongly recommend you know the good and the bad (and the ugly, which I’ll get to next time).  Know enough to make an informed decision.  Then, pull the trigger and get things moving. 

All right, you maggots.  Time to get to the bad . . .

  1. First off, regardless of what branch you go into (including the Coast Guard), and regardless if you’re enlisted or officer, if this is your first enlistment, you incur a total eight-year commitment in the military.  This is also regardless of how long you serve either on active duty, or in the Reserves or National Guard.  Keep this in mind to avoid any misunderstanding.  If, for example, you take the oath of enlistment on July 1, 2020, you won’t receive your (usually honorable) discharge papers until July 1, 2028.  This is if you make it through your first (and maybe second) term of enlistment, and don’t wash out of basic training, maybe are medically discharged, or did something else to get yourself kicked out.  If you do just one four-year term, then you will be in the Inactive Ready Reserve for another four years, and are subject to recall. 
  2. Your life isn’t entirely your own.  (Duh.)  You have to do what you’re told, or risk punishment.  That punishment could be immediate (“Drop and give me 20!”) or it could be longer term (confined to barracks, extra duty).  You could also have non-commissioned officers (NCO) who are intrusive into your personal life (for enlisted), looking over your lifestyle, comings and goings, the people you associate with, your personal property, etc.  If you’re not ready to deal with this, then I recommend you rethink going in.
  3. You could get killed (again, duh) or at least get seriously injured.  This is, after all, the military, and you agree to take on this risk when you go in.  If you get seriously injured, even while in training, and you get medically discharged with a disability rating, you’ll have to deal with unpleasant things like chronic pain, Veterans Administration (VA) problems, stigma attached to being a disabled vet (often from employers, who don’t want the responsibility of accommodating you), lack of job opportunities, etc.  On the bright side, things are nowhere near as bad as they were for Vietnam vets back in the 1970s and 1980s.  You’ll garner more respect from John Q. Public, as active duty and a veteran, and won’t be spat upon – in today’s society.
  4. You might not have a choice with your military occupational specialty (MOS)/job.  Though you intended to be a firefighter, for example, you might end up being military police (MP) because that’s where there’s the most need.  So, make sure that you go into a branch where there’s a better than average chance to get what you want.  Make sure to score as highly as you can on the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB).  Make sure to get your job assignment in writing.  Also, do what you can to increase your chances of getting what you want and have a backup plan: e.g., you accept going into medical instead of engineering as a consolation prize. 
  5. “Doing the 20” (i.e., wearing the uniform until it’s time to retire) isn’t a guaranteeLife happens, and shit happens.  You could get so sick of deployments, the people you routinely work with, inane and petty bullshit, etc., to where it’s affecting your physical/mental health and well-being, that you decide to hang up the uniform before the 20 years is up.  You could also get injured and be medically discharged, which isn’t in your control and depends on needs of the service branch, how much your command needs you, what some officer says, etc.  (Some service branches, because of staffing concerns, are more likely to get rid of “problems” instead of keep them in and do something more constructive with them.) You coud also get married and have kids, and wifey-poo, because she doesn’t like deployments or being stuck home all day with the kids (because she has few job prospects), demands that you get out and become a civilian. The list is endless.
  6. Some branches are more physically demanding and combat-oriented (the Marines), while others are more like civilians (the Air Force).  You might have a rough time finding your comfy little spot, where you can ride things out.  You might have expected to have a desk job, only to be out the field for months at a time, doing baby wipe showers (gentle on your ball sac, ineffective for your asshole), eating meals-ready-to-eat (MRE) three times a day, and doing exercises out in the rain and snow.  As they say in the military, “Not the one you want.”
  7. You could miss promotions or have them delayed, regardless of how well you do with your tests, your time in service, time in grade, etc.  If there are no open billets, you get no promotion.  And, the higher up you go in rank, the less you’re doing your job and the more you become a “manager.”
  8. Your choice of duty station is often limited, especially during your first term of enlistment, where you’re sent where the greatest need is.  And, you could be going straight into a unit that’s getting ready to deploy.  Then, you repeat the process when you permanent change of station (PCS) to another unit, never catching a break.  Worse, as many Iraq and Afghanistan folks abruptly experienced, you could be stop-lossed, where you’re stuck in your current unit and can’t PCS or ETS.)  Lastly, with some branches (e.g., the Air Force), you could get stuck at the same base for years.  Sometimes, you could get stuck at a remote base (e.g., Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota or Schofield Barracks in Hawaii) where little is going on or the cost of living is very high where you can’t do much on your piddling monthly pay.
  9. Even though you have a desk job while in garrison, you still could still be deployed and you could still see combat while deployed.  (Again, this is the risk you accept when you go in.) Especially for Army and Marines, remember that, first and foremost, you’re infantry and have been trained to work as such when needed.  Your job, no matter what non-combat role it is, comes second.  Fortunately, if you have a job that’s mainly support, that will be your job during the deployment.
  10. Deployments, sadly, are a given in most branches of the military, though there’s a wide spread of different kinds.  At bottom, “deployment” means “out of garrison” or “in the field, in a combat zone.”  A field exercise near one’s garrison, either in the US or overseas, isn’t necessarily a deployment.  Being in a combat zone, is a deployment.  Since 2001, deployment has been equated with Iraq and Afghanistan, but soldiers, sailors, airmen, and even some Coasties, have been deployed to places such as Kosovo, Djibouti, Romania, Poland, and Saudi Arabia.  Deployments last anywhere from just a few months, up to one year, depending on the service branch.
  11. Deployments are really where you embrace the suck.  Though, I have to say, during my two deployments to Iraq, it wasn’t all bad.  If you were on a large military base (e.g., Camp Victory in Iraq or Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan), you could get your own room with a small bed, air conditioning, a decent (but shared) shower, paid wifi, the Base Exchange (BX) and Post Exchange (PX), the DFAC (dining facility) with four meals a day and free-ish (i.e., taxpayer funded) food and drinks.  You have morale, welfare, and recreation (MWR) tents where you can take out board games or cards, or watch DVDs.  There are also gyms where you can work out 24/7.  In short, you’re home away from home, if you modulate your standards accordingly.
  12. On the other hand, deployment could also mean being at a remote patrol base with no running water, pissing in a tube sticking out of the ground, shitting in a can (where, according to regulations, you have to mix the shit with diesel and then burn it), and coming under mortar attacks and small arms fire every day.  Oh, and then there are the convoys racing down the road, trying to avoid IEDs and small arms fire.  Fun times.
  13. Tons of stupid shit, done for no express purpose except that “it’s in the regulations” and because some NCO (especially the sergeant major (SGM) or equivalent), or officer, has nothing better to do and what he (or she) decides to do that moment is the most important thing.  One salient example from my days in the Army is how soldiers had to wear berets all the time, unless they were in the field or in the motor pool.  This started, according to my understanding, during then Army Chief of Staff Eric Shinseki’s term.  The scuttlebutt I heard was that, to push a more “professional” veneer onto the military, all soldiers shifted from wearing patrol caps, which had been part of the uniform for many years, while in garrison to wearing berets.  (Also part of the scuttlebutt was that Shinseki had financial interests with the company that manufactured the berets.)  All during my time, I had to wear the beret except in the motor pool, and so had to carry around two hats with me all the time, switching the one for the other constantly.
  14. There’s lots of shitwork for enlisted to do.  There will be many times when, both in garrison and while deployed, there’s, quite frankly, “nothing to do.”  You’ve finished with your tasks and now you have some “free time.”  Oh . . . oh . . . silly boy.  No such thing, really.  As lower enlisted, you’re “free labor” to dig ditches, clean out storage closets, be chauffeur to other personnel, drive Humvees and 5-ton trucks around, and be the pack animal.  There’s always plenty to do in this department.  It’s times like these when you wish that you were an officer, because they push paper and sit in meetings while in garrison.  Other times, they walk the general’s dog.
  15. Very few jobs out there in the civilian world for military, unless you choose to be a war-zone contractor, work for the Federal or state or local government, the police, or manage to get an in-demand skill that has open positions.  This is regardless of how bad-ass you were while on active duty.  If you don’t have the skills and the experience, then you don’t get to pay the bills, and might have to reenlist to eat and stay off the street.  So, think carefully about your job and choose wisely.

Finally, though one obvious benefit you have is that you can form close bonds with other guys in your unit, there are some prominent caveats here.  For one thing, everyone is an individual and acts as such.  You and the other guys, and gals, were certain people at the time you enlisted, went through basic training, and when you arrived at your first unit.  Basic training made you a soldier, sailor, airman, Marine, or Coastie.  But, you did not magically erase any things happening under the surface, which surely is going to affect how well you perform while on active duty and how well you relate to others. 

For example:

Were you a mama’s boy?  Were you daddy’s little princess?  Were you a sheltered kid?

Did you come from a single-mother household, and was your father maybe in jail?

Did you grow up in poverty?  Did you live in a trailer park?  Were you ever homeless?

Were you physically, mentally, or sexually abused?  Have you ever acted out because of this trauma – most likely undiagnosed and unprocessed?

Do you have problems with substance abuse?  How many times a month do you get black-out drunk?

Do you have a college degree and think you’re smarter than everyone else? 

Do you have a severe inferiority complex and feel the need to play hero?

Do you come from a military family and are you under pressure to “carry the torch”?

Do you have a problem keeping your dick in your pants or your legs crossed? 

I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  As one guy from my first unit said, “You were a certain kind of person before you came into the military.”  You’ll very likely remain that person, unless you display some self-awareness and work to get rid of, or at least minimize, the uglier parts of yourself.

Secondly, small groups and cliques will unavoidably form, even though everyone is in the same unit and wearing the same uniform.  (This starts with rank.)  Those that are married and have families, or who are permitted to live off post because of their rank, won’t hang around with the singles in the barracks.  You’re not likely to always have cohesion with your team members, or the people who work in your shop.  At my first unit, my NCO and I didn’t get along, and he caused a lot of tension in the commo shop.  Once he left the unit to go elsewhere, things calmed down significantly.  At my second unit, I pal-ed around with a few “misfits” from the other shops, because they had their own friction with the guys in those shops.  You form alliances against the shitbags and fucktards a good deal of the time.  Us vs. them.  I know, this flies in the face of “one team, one fight,” but I’m laying down unpleasant truths here.

Lastly, once the people you’ve worked with PCS and go to another unit, or are getting out of the military altogether, unless either of you keep up the relationship, it will wither and die.  The lack of upkeep could come from either end.  In my case, there were certain people with whom I had a good working relationship while in the same unit with them, but I didn’t hesitate to leave them behind once that working relationship was done and I never had to deal with them ever again.  Ditto for them once they became civilians, and this is despite them being just a few hours’ drive from me.  On the flip side, those guys that I was interested in keeping in touch with, didn’t hesitate to tell me to fuck off on their last day in the unit.  Basically, people, on their last day, will simply finish their affairs, say nothing to anyone or might say goodbyes to just a small handful, and drive off in their car.  Or, they might have a big going-away party.  Or, they take pains to tear some of their fellows a new asshole, releasing the pent-up frustration and hostility toward that person they’ve had for a year or two.  Lastly, I saw this only with enlisted; I didn’t see anything with officers so I can’t comment.

All right, troops, I’ve said enough this time.  If I’ve brought you down, get over it. Better that you hear this from me instead of a recruiter, or some former military dude who only wants to talk about the “glory days.”  It gets worse, trust me, but that’s for next time.

Dismissed.

Thoughts on Military Service, Part 2: Enlisted vs. Officer

In my last article, I covered my story about why I enlisted in the military. Also, what are some preliminary things to consider if you want to enlist.  I want to stress that you should always be playing the long game, and play it based on your current term of enlistment.  That is, if you’re planning on only doing one four- or six-year tour of duty, for example, where do you want to be when you get out?  If you like being on active duty by that time, then reenlist and the plan out your life for the next tour of duty.  If just one tour is enough (and this is quite common), then you should be planning to be on as firm a footing as you possibly can because returning to the civilian world is often a major challenge, particularly for the unprepared.  Strive not to be one of the hordes of former military who can’t get a job because they have no experience, they have no proper credentials, and they’ve put themselves into a position that severely handicaps them.  Or, one that irreparably fucks up their life: e.g., a sexual assault charge, knocking some chick up, or getting a bad conduct discharge.

This likely won’t change anytime soon.  You can’t change groups; you can only change yourself.  Keep this in mind.

Second, related to the above, and which I didn’t cover last time, is that, especially for the short-termer, you must make the military work for you, as much as you possibly can.  Keep in mind that, at bottom, the military exists to fight wars and do force projection for the United States.  The draft was abolished in 1973, shortly before Vietnam ended, and so the military has been voluntary and not compulsory.  As a partial consequence, the military has provided some definite perks for those active duty, Reserve, and National Guard personnel to get them to enlist and to stay in.  While in, use these perks to your benefit, because your tax dollars are going to support them.  Nothing that you get from the military hasn’t been paid for by your tax dollars.

Yes, the military can provide some kick-ass training, and the military is one of the very few organizations in the US that provides initial, and continuing training, regardless of one’s educational or professional background.  But, remember that the training the military provides is specific to the military.  There are few analogues, or paths, back into the civilian world.  That’s why you find former infantry who are stuck either being cops or used car salesmen.  If that’s your bag, then more power to you.  If you aspire to something other than shit jobs, then be very careful about which job you choose going into the military.  In many cases, you might not have a choice, because most service branches are based on “needs of.”  The Army, from what I understand, is the only service branch that legally guarantees which job you have at the time you enlist.  That’s not 100% guaranteed, but the chances of you doing it are higher than normal.

Regardless, if you do decide to enlist, then make sure to choose at least three jobs that you’d like to do, and which are have some kind of civilian equivalent.  That’s the best way you can prepare when it comes time for you to hang up the uniform.  My recommendations are IT/STEM, medical, the trades, or intelligence.

With that out of the way, let me know cover which path you might want to consider.

ENLISTED VS. OFFICER

I speak from my experience in the Army here, so your mileage may vary concerning the other services.  Also, do not take what I say here, or in my subsequent posts, as gospel.  Remember that I was on active duty with the Army from early 2004-2010 — some years before.  At the time I enlisted, Afghanistan had been under way since 2001, and the eventual misadventure in Iraq wasn’t even two years old.  Demand for new recruits was high and, therefore, the Army had less of an incentive to turn people away for minor things, whereas they would have done so in the early to mid-90s, when the Cold War ended and there was no need to have such a large force.  Not surprising, then, that you had soldiers with criminal records, and the like.

Quickly, about enlisted vs. officers, are there are benefits and perks to both.  Over the long term, it’s better to be an officer because of the rank, the relative prestige, and the nature of the work.  For the short term, enlisted is fine.  You want to get in, get the training, get the certifications, and some hands-on work experience.  But, you also are the first to be called upon to do the shitwork.

The decision is yours.  Now, let me break down the two in more detail.

Enlisted (E). Enlisted make up the bulk of the active, Reserve, and National Guard forces.  To use a factory metaphor here, enlisted are the line workers who get shit done, but who also bear the brunt of problems to a much greater degree than others.  Scratch a vet today, and you’re very likely to meet someone who was enlisted, especially for those that did just one or two tours of duty, either voluntarily (since 1973) or through conscription (WW II, Korea, and Vietnam).

Mid-level and senior enlisted are called non-commissioned officers (NCO), and are called “officers” because of their leadership capacity.  These are your sergeants (Army, Air Force, and Marines) and petty officers (Navy and Coast Guard).  The NCO ranks start at E-5 (e.g., Army sergeants), though there are some E-4s (Army corporals) who might have limited leadership capacity.  These are your factory foreman, overseeing how things are going with the line workers, and carrying out the orders of the commissioned officers.  E-5s can lead small teams of soldiers or Marines.

Despite being the ones who bust their asses the most, who get stuck with shitwork, and who might face the most danger, there are two major benefits to being enlisted.  First, you’re assigned a job from the day you enlist for the first time, or when you reenlist and reclass into another job field.  If the job is high-demand (e.g., IT or medical), chances are high that you’ll be doing your job, at your unit while in garrison or while deployed, for the duration of your enlistment.  If the job isn’t high-demand, then you run the risk of either being idle a good deal of the time or repurposed to do something else (e.g., artillery reclassed to be military police, or working in the arms room at your unit while in garrison).  One important saying in the Army and the Marines is “infantryman first.”  Meaning, you’re trained to be combat arms, and everyone is expected to fall back on their infantry training if needed.  In my view, the further you are from that infantry training, in a high-demand job, the less likely that you’ll get stuck doing a job you don’t want to do.  But, also remember that, particularly with the Army and Marines, your non-combat role is to support the combat folks.

The second benefit to being enlisted is that you can stay in the military for a long time, provided that you don’t royally fuck up, don’t sustain serious injuries that permanently hobble you and that end up in a medical discharge, or are kicked out for other reasons (e.g., a sexual assault charge).  Unlike officers, who generally must work to make it to the next rank the higher up they go in rank (see more below), enlisted can coast if they choose and then reenlist when the time comes.  There are downsides to this of course, such as being stuck at a particular rank for a long time because your job is overstrength and there are few slots for you to move into, even if you’re qualified because of time in service and time in rank.  That comes with the territory, so you want to make sure that you get the best job you can get, and then take each enlistment as it comes.

As I’ve stated before, when it comes time for you to reenlist, you want to do so on your terms.  Have enough money in the bank, for starters, where you don’t need the military.  Or, have enough money in the bank so that, if you do choose to reenlist because it’s, overall, a better option, you can protect yourself against problems as they arise.  If you do stay in and do your 20 years, you can retire with a pension and whatever money you have saved in the bank.  But, that’s not guaranteed, so that’s a long, long term goal.

How does one become enlisted?  Just to a recruiter, tell him or her that you want to join up and be enlisted, and then go through the tests and the processing rigmarole.  If you make it, then you have your basic training start date, and you must periodically check in with your recruiter before you ship out.

Officer (O).  To continue with the factory analogy, officers are mid- and senior-managers, discussing plans and strategies, and issuing orders for the NCOs to carry out.  They’re also generalists who are trained to work in leadership, and in paperwork.  On the face of it, there are benefits to being an officer that enlisted don’t have.  You don’t do shitwork involving heavy lifting, because you’re at headquarters working on your computer, writing reports.  On the other hand, you could be the bitch boy (sorry, admirative assistant) to the general or admiral.  Ultimately, all officers answer to both the commander and the executive officer (XO).  If either one of them is a dick, then you have to put up with that.  Enlisted rarely interact with senior officers, unless they’re at an HQ level.

Two downsides to being an officer come to mind.  First, especially in the Army, officers don’t have a choice with their branch, unless they’re direct commission as in the case of a doctor, nurse, or chaplain.  Especially for males, one of the branches you must select is combat arms, which would include infantry, artillery, air defense artillery, and armor.  If you don’t luck out with a good branch and instead get assigned infantry, then you’re stuck with that branch until your tour is over.

A second downside is one I’ve mentioned above, which is that, once you get past the O-3 rank (captain for Army, Air Force, and Marines; lieutenant for Navy and Coast Guard), then you must continually work to make the next rank within a certain time period, and by a few chances.  If you fail, then you must resign your commission and get out.  This might happen before you complete your 20 years, if you decided to go that route.  Also, somewhat related, the higher up you go in rank, the more of a politician (“leader”) you become, and that takes you further away from the hands-on that you might have started out with.  Not that there’s much hands-on to begin with for officers anyway (except maybe infantry).  Officers are generalists, managers, and “leaders.”

One potential upside, in my view, is that, instead of a garden-variety commissioned officer, one chooses to go the warrant officer route.  Though they’re commissioned officers, warrant officers are less generalists/”leaders” and more technical experts in their respective branches.  They run shops, sections, etc. and aren’t engaged that much in overall strategy.  They tend to be left alone to run their shops, but can step in to take command where needed, and where a regular commissioned officer is absent.  One difficult is that promotions take much longer than commissioned officers, because warrant officers must first be prior enlisted and attain the proper rank before applying for training, and because there are fewer warrant officer slots.

There are four ways that one becomes an officer:

  1. Attend one of the service academies: e.g., West Point in New York State and the Naval Academy in Annapolis. Usually, you have to be a star student, star athlete or equivalent, and get the recommendation from one of your Congresspeople.  Nice work if you can get it, but don’t be worried if this is out of reach.  Because, you can . . .
  2. Go to college and join the Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC). This is where, in addition to doing the coursework for your major, you attend “military science” courses, wear a uniform, and do military things while on campus for the duration of your time there.  After you graduate, you then commit to a certain time being a commissioned officer in whatever service you did for ROTC.  For all intents and purposes, doing ROTC is training wheels for being an officer in the military.  It’s a popular option for the college crowd and has been for years.  One downside is that you get “the college crowd” mindset when you encounter someone who was in ROTC — but not as bad as someone from the service academies.
  3. Officer Candidate School (OCS). This is the term the Army uses, so check to see what the other services call it.  OCS is for those who already have a college degree or for prior enlisted that have a degree.  (Any degree is sufficient, in the military’s mind, but could bite you in the ass out in the civilian world, so watch it.)  In my view, though officers can be full of themselves because of their position, OCS graduates (especially those who are prior enlisted), tend to make the best officers because they know what it’s like to be the enlisted soldier, sailor, etc., doing the shitwork.  There’s a humbling process that takes place.  Contrast that with the early 20-somethng ROTC graduate at his (or her) first command, thinks their shit doesn’t stink, and then winds up leaning on their senior enlisted anyway.
  4. Warrant Officer Candidate School (WOCS).  Again, I’m going to speak from the standpoint of the Army here, so do your research for the other branches that have warrant officers.  First, you must serve for a time as enlisted.  When you attain at least the E-5 rank, you can apply to be a warrant officer either in the branch in which you’ve been serving (e.g., armor), or go into aviation, which doesn’t depend on your branch.  In either case, all warrant officers go for their initial training at the same place, and then to the respective base for technical training.

MY IMPRESSIONS

In general, most of the problems you get from current and former military come from the enlisted.  The vast majority are under 25, tend to come from middle to lower to underclass background, are immature, have physical and mental problems (but nothing so severe that it bars them from enlistment), have bad habits (e.g., drinking and smoking) and are in need of someone breaking them down and building them back up.  Such is life dealing with other enlisted.  Though, a good deal of the time, your peers are those that have your back and make the days of shitwork, when it happens, go by fast.

For the most part, I never had problems with any officers, or warrant officers, except for three – one of which was the XO for my basic training battalion, and who had to play the part of the big swinging dick.  I found officers professional, somewhat approachable, and thankful that I was there to handle their communications problems.  A few of them, on the younger side, were also easier to deal with than senior NCOs because they hadn’t spent much time being enlisted and picking up bad habits or manners of speaking.

On the other hand, remember that officers are people, too, and have the same sorts of personal problems that enlisted have – some of which can cross professional-personal boundaries.  Infidelity, domestic abuse, alcoholism, gambling problems, etc. can plague officers, and affect their performance.

That’s all for now, troops.  Ten hut!  Dismissed.

Welcome back, troops.  Stand at parade rest, please, as I have more information to pass along to you fine men.

In my last article, I covered my story about why I enlisted in the military. Also, what are some preliminary things to consider if you want to enlist.  I want to stress that you should always be playing the long game, and play it based on your current term of enlistment.  That is, if you’re planning on only doing one four- or six-year tour of duty, for example, where do you want to be when you get out?  If you like being on active duty by that time, then reenlist and the plan out your life for the next tour of duty.  If just one tour is enough (and this is quite common), then you should be planning to be on as firm a footing as you possibly can because returning to the civilian world is often a major challenge, particularly for the unprepared.  Strive not to be one the hordes of former military who can’t get a job because they have no experience, they have no proper credentials, and they’ve put themselves into a position that severely handicaps them.  Or, one that irreparably fucks up their life: e.g., a sexual assault charge, knocking some chick up, or getting a bad conduct discharge.

This likely won’t change anytime soon.  You can’t change groups; you can only change yourself.  Keep this in mind.

Second, related to the above, and which I didn’t cover last time, is that, especially for the short-termer, you must make the military work for you, as much as you possibly can.  Keep in mind that, at bottom, the military exists to fight wars and do force projection for the United States.  The draft was abolished in 1973, shortly before Vietnam ended, and so the military has been voluntary and not compulsory.  As a partial consequence, the military has provided some definite perks for those active duty, Reserve, and National Guard personnel to get them to enlist and to stay in.  While in, use these perks to your benefit, because your tax dollars are going to support them.  Nothing that you get from the military hasn’t been paid for by your tax dollars.

Yes, the military can provide some kick-ass training, and the military is one of the very few organizations in the US that provides initial, and continuing training, regardless of one’s educational or professional background.  But, remember that the training the military provides is specific to the military.  There are few analogues, or paths, back into the civilian world.  That’s why you find former infantry who are stuck either being cops or used car salesmen.  If that’s your bag, then more power to you.  If you aspire to something other than shit jobs, then be very careful about which job you choose going into the military.  In many cases, you might not have a choice, because most service branches are based on “needs of.”  The Army, from what I understand, is the only service branch that legally guarantees which job you have at the time you enlist.  That’s not 100% guaranteed, but the chances of you doing it are higher than normal.

Regardless, if you do decide to enlist, then make sure to choose at least three jobs that you’d like to do, and which are have some kind of civilian equivalent.  That’s the best way you can prepare when it comes time for you to hang up the uniform.  My recommendations are IT/STEM, medical, the trades, or intelligence.

With that out of the way, let me know cover which path you might want to consider.

ENLISTED VS. OFFICER

I speak from my experience in the Army here, so your mileage may vary concerning the other services.  Also, do not take what I say here, or in my subsequent posts, as gospel.  Remember that I was on active duty with the Army from early 2004-2010 — some years before.  At the time I enlisted, Afghanistan had been under way since 2001, and the eventual misadventure in Iraq wasn’t even two years old.  Demand for new recruits was high and, therefore, the Army had less of an incentive to turn people away for minor things, whereas they would have done so in the early to mid-90s, when the Cold War ended and there was no need to have such a large force.  Not surprising, then, that you had soldiers with criminal records, and the like.

Quickly, about enlisted vs. officers, are there are benefits and perks to both.  Over the long term, it’s better to be an officer because of the rank, the relative prestige, and the nature of the work.  For the short term, enlisted is fine.  You want to get in, get the training, get the certifications, and some hands-on work experience.  But, you also are the first to be called upon to do the shitwork.

The decision is yours.  Now, let me break down the two in more detail.

Enlisted (E). Enlisted make up the bulk of the active, Reserve, and National Guard forces.  To use a factory metaphor here, enlisted are the line workers who get shit done, but who also bear the brunt of problems to a much greater degree than others.  Scratch a vet today, and you’re very likely to meet someone who was enlisted, especially for those that did just one or two tours of duty, either voluntarily (since 1973) or through conscription (WW II, Korea, and Vietnam).

Mid-level and senior enlisted are called non-commissioned officers (NCO), and are called “officers” because of their leadership capacity.  These are your sergeants (Army, Air Force, and Marines) and petty officers (Navy and Coast Guard).  The NCO ranks start at E-5 (e.g., Army sergeants), though there are some E-4s (Army corporals) who might have limited leadership capacity.  These are your factory foreman, overseeing how things are going with the line workers, and carrying out the orders of the commissioned officers.  E-5s can lead small teams of soldiers or Marines.

Despite being the ones who bust their asses the most, who get stuck with shitwork, and who might face the most danger, there are two major benefits to being enlisted.  First, you’re assigned a job from the day you enlist for the first time, or when you reenlist and reclass into another job field.  If the job is high-demand (e.g., IT or medical), chances are high that you’ll be doing your job, at your unit while in garrison or while deployed, for the duration of your enlistment.  If the job isn’t high-demand, then you run the risk of either being idle a good deal of the time or repurposed to do something else (e.g., artillery reclassed to be military police, or working in the arms room at your unit while in garrison).  One important saying in the Army and the Marines is “infantryman first.”  Meaning, you’re trained to be combat arms, and everyone is expected to fall back on their infantry training if needed.  In my view, the further you are from that infantry training, in a high-demand job, the less likely that you’ll get stuck doing a job you don’t want to do.  But, also remember that, particularly with the Army and Marines, your non-combat role is to support the combat folks.

The second benefit to being enlisted is that you can stay in the military for a long time, provided that you don’t royally fuck up, don’t sustain serious injuries that permanently hobble you and that end up in a medical discharge, or are kicked out for other reasons (e.g., a sexual assault charge).  Unlike officers, who generally must work to make it to the next rank the higher up they go in rank (see more below), enlisted can coast if they choose and then reenlist when the time comes.  There are downsides to this of course, such as being stuck at a particular rank for a long time because your job is overstrength and there are few slots for you to move into, even if you’re qualified because of time in service and time in rank.  That comes with the territory, so you want to make sure that you get the best job you can get, and then take each enlistment as it comes.

As I’ve stated before, when it comes time for you to reenlist, you want to do so on your terms.  Have enough money in the bank, for starters, where you don’t need the military.  Or, have enough money in the bank so that, if you do choose to reenlist because it’s, overall, a better option, you can protect yourself against problems as they arise.  If you do stay in and do your 20 years, you can retire with a pension and whatever money you have saved in the bank.  But, that’s not guaranteed, so that’s a long, long term goal.

How does one become enlisted?  Just to a recruiter, tell him or her that you want to join up and be enlisted, and then go through the tests and the processing rigmarole.  If you make it, then you have your basic training start date, and you must periodically check in with your recruiter before you ship out.

Officer (O).  To continue with the factory analogy, officers are mid- and senior-managers, discussing plans and strategies, and issuing orders for the NCOs to carry out.  They’re also generalists who are trained to work in leadership, and in paperwork.  On the face of it, there are benefits to being an officer that enlisted don’t have.  You don’t do shitwork involving heavy lifting, because you’re at headquarters working on your computer, writing reports.  On the other hand, you could be the bitch boy (sorry, admirative assistant) to the general or admiral.  Ultimately, all officers answer to both the commander and the executive officer (XO).  If either one of them is a dick, then you have to put up with that.  Enlisted rarely interact with senior officers, unless they’re at an HQ level.

Two downsides to being an officer come to mind.  First, especially in the Army, officers don’t have a choice with their branch, unless they’re direct commission as in the case of a doctor, nurse, or chaplain.  Especially for males, one of the branches you must select is combat arms, which would include infantry, artillery, air defense artillery, and armor.  If you don’t luck out with a good branch and instead get assigned infantry, then you’re stuck with that branch until your tour is over.

A second downside is one I’ve mentioned above, which is that, once you get past the O-3 rank (captain for Army, Air Force, and Marines; lieutenant for Navy and Coast Guard), then you must continually work to make the next rank within a certain time period, and by a few chances.  If you fail, then you must resign your commission and get out.  This might happen before you complete your 20 years, if you decided to go that route.  Also, somewhat related, the higher up you go in rank, the more of a politician (“leader”) you become, and that takes you further away from the hands-on that you might have started out with.  Not that there’s much hands-on to begin with for officers anyway (except maybe infantry).  Officers are generalists, managers, and “leaders.”

One potential upside, in my view, is that, instead of a garden-variety commissioned officer, one chooses to go the warrant officer route.  Though they’re commissioned officers, warrant officers are less generalists/”leaders” and more technical experts in their respective branches.  They run shops, sections, etc. and aren’t engaged that much in overall strategy.  They tend to be left alone to run their shops, but can step in to take command where needed, and where a regular commissioned officer is absent.  One difficult is that promotions take much longer than commissioned officers, because warrant officers must first be prior enlisted and attain the proper rank before applying for training, and because there are fewer warrant officer slots.

There are four ways that one becomes an officer:

  1. Attend one of the service academies: e.g., West Point in New York State and the Naval Academy in Annapolis. Usually, you have to be a star student, star athlete or equivalent, and get the recommendation from one of your Congresspeople.  Nice work if you can get it, but don’t be worried if this is out of reach.  Because, you can . . .
  2. Go to college and join the Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC). This is where, in addition to doing the coursework for your major, you attend “military science” courses, wear a uniform, and do military things while on campus for the duration of your time there.  After you graduate, you then commit to a certain time being a commissioned officer in whatever service you did for ROTC.  For all intents and purposes, doing ROTC is training wheels for being an officer in the military.  It’s a popular option for the college crowd and has been for years.  One downside is that you get “the college crowd” mindset when you encounter someone who was in ROTC — but not as bad as someone from the service academies.
  3. Officer Candidate School (OCS). This is the term the Army uses, so check to see what the other services call it.  OCS is for those who already have a college degree or for prior enlisted that have a degree.  (Any degree is sufficient, in the military’s mind, but could bite you in the ass out in the civilian world, so watch it.)  In my view, though officers can be full of themselves because of their position, OCS graduates (especially those who are prior enlisted), tend to make the best officers because they know what it’s like to be the enlisted soldier, sailor, etc., doing the shitwork.  There’s a humbling process that takes place.  Contrast that with the early 20-somethng ROTC graduate at his (or her) first command, thinks their shit doesn’t stink, and then winds up leaning on their senior enlisted anyway.
  4. Warrant Officer Candidate School (WOCS).  Again, I’m going to speak from the standpoint of the Army here, so do your research for the other branches that have warrant officers.  First, you must serve for a time as enlisted.  When you attain at least the E-5 rank, you can apply to be a warrant officer either in the branch in which you’ve been serving (e.g., armor), or go into aviation, which doesn’t depend on your branch.  In either case, all warrant officers go for their initial training at the same place, and then to the respective base for technical training.

MY IMPRESSIONS

In general, most of the problems you get from current and former military come from the enlisted.  The vast majority are under 25, tend to come from middle to lower to underclass background, are immature, have physical and mental problems (but nothing so severe that it bars them from enlistment), have bad habits (e.g., drinking and smoking) and are in need of someone breaking them down and building them back up.  Such is life dealing with other enlisted.  Though, a good deal of the time, your peers are those that have your back and make the days of shitwork, when it happens, go by fast.

For the most part, I never had problems with any officers, or warrant officers, except for three – one of which was the XO for my basic training battalion, and who had to play the part of the big swinging dick.  I found officers professional, somewhat approachable, and thankful that I was there to handle their communications problems.  A few of them, on the younger side, were also easier to deal with than senior NCOs because they hadn’t spent much time being enlisted and picking up bad habits or manners of speaking.

On the other hand, remember that officers are people, too, and have the same sorts of personal problems that enlisted have – some of which can cross professional-personal boundaries.  Infidelity, domestic abuse, alcoholism, gambling problems, etc. can plague officers, and affect their performance.

That’s all for now, troops.  Ten hut!  Dismissed.

The Hangover

blue drinking glass with water and white medicine pills

I woke up at 6:33 in the morning with a raging, pounding headache. I jumped out of bed and nearly missed making it to the toilet. All the shit that I had imbibed came back up in a rush. My stomach clenched and heaved, forcing the contents out.

My legs were shaky and it was a miracle that I was able to stand. I staggered to the sink to wash the bile from my mouth. I looked into my own bloodshot eyes as I cupped water from my hands into my mouth. A six day old corpse looked better.

I flushed the toilet before staggering back into the bedroom, the smell of vomit and last night’s, whatever, was potent. My stomach fluttered at the smell.

Goddammit, I need to quit doing this. I can’t keep doing this. Something has got to give. Enough is enough. I keep going at this rate I’m either going to overdose and die, or I’m going to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. This shit has got to stop.

Jumbled words and sentences swirl in my mind, voices screaming gibberish in the dark. It’s maddening.

“Semen retention!” “Alpha!” “Don’t lean in bro!” “Tell your son this!” “My legacy!” “I only bang 9’s and 10’s!” “Just lift!” “Keto!” “Carnivore!” “Feminism!” “Toxic masculinity!” “A real man!” “Save the west!” “In a society!” “Don’t call her immediately, wait a few days before you call her…”

Black coffee…

Cold showers…

I felt my stomach lurch and I sprinted to the bathroom, but this time I didn’t quite make it. The vomit splattered on my bare feet as it hit the floor.

Fucking guys.

Dumb assholes who don’t know anything about anything acting like they know everything about something. Fucking spergs.

You don’t really want to do anything except masturbate. It’s clear now that’s all you want to do. You want credit for something you haven’t done and probably never will. You want a participation trophy just for showing up.

You want that magic pill or that magic bullet that will magically make you… Whatever it is that you think you want to be. The problem is twofold though.

One. There is no magic bullet that will magically make you do or be anything.

Two. You don’t even know what you want. Except to jack off and waste both yours and my time.

I think you’re just mad. And possibly a little insane. You’re mad that things didn’t work out like your mom told you they would. She lied to you. That girl, that special one, that little prize on the pier lied to you too. She’s just like all the other girls. That’s what you tell yourself and what you say to me.

Newsflash: I don’t care. Tell it to someone who does. Go jerk off somewhere else, I don’t have time for your horseshit.

You have all of the information in the world right at your fingertips and yet you don’t want to do the work. Guess what? You get to burn. I realize now that you don’t really want solutions, you just want to masturbate and have someone pat you on the back.

A sheep in search of a shepherd is going to be slaughtered. Might as well be you. Better you than me. Besides, nothing has quite the taste like bitter tears. Your tears. Filling up my glass. I’ll toast your health as I down it. Better that than the pablum that you’ve been issuing from your sewage-hole called a mouth.

I’m not going to block you on social media. Oh no. That would be a trophy to you. “Did you see what that weesh guy did! He blocked me! What a sensitive asshole! LOL!”

I’ll just mute you. That way you’ll shut the fuck up.

You go on and on and on, typing your drivel on your keyboard for the other dipshits that follow you, and honestly, you remind me of my ex-wife. She wouldn’t shut the fuck up either.

A feminized man getting his fix from outrage and revenge porn, talking nonsense about saving the west and not jerking off. You sound just like the women that you hate. Oh I know, you claim you don’t hate them, and yet you do. You carry on about them like they are a scourge and how they “deserve” what they get. You’re fingering your own asshole the whole time.

I thought I disliked you, but I was wrong. Dislike is a strong word in this case. I actually pity you. I pity you because all you want to do is jerk off on your keyboard with nonsense, rationalizations, and excuses. You don’t want to do the work, you just want to be mad. So stay mad, I don’t care.

I’m going to do what I did when I did readings. I’m going to agree with you from now on and tell you what you want to hear. I’m going to bullshit you. I’m going to lie to you. I’m going to do it with a smile on my lips and a twinkle in my eye. You wanted it, you’re going to get it. After that I’m going to mute you so I don’t ever have to hear from you again. I’ll never see another word that you write again. It’s going to be such a relief.

What do you know? I’m feeling better already. The hangover from your bullshit is receding. The headache is gone and I think I can eat something and keep it down now.

I’ve got to go, I’ve got vomit to clean up. I need to take a shower and shave. Then maybe some lunch or something. After that, I’m off to get some sex.

Have a great day!

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