Teriyaki

October 26, 2020June 11, 2022 Rob Says15 Comments

This is “Teriyaki.” I call her that because of an inside joke between us. I met her back in July of this year. It all started with this text:

Screenshot_20200720-160444_LI (2) — The text that started it all.

It’s been a lot of fun hanging around her and getting to know her, and I can’t complain about the sex, there’s been plenty of it, and she’s pretty open-minded about trying and doing new and different things.

The woman has gone through some things in her life, some of them are totally out of her control, because sometimes shit just does happen, and some of the things are her doing. Watching her as she talks about those things, what she has learned about those things and herself, I think she’s seriously wanting to change her life around compared to when she was much younger. Let’s just say that her actions are speaking louder than her words when it comes to cleaning her life up.

I’m bringing her up today because of a post that I read earlier. Madd Monk is a blog that I follow and I read when he posts something. I haven’t read all of his stuff yet, but from what I gather, he’s a younger guy who got divorced, took the Red Pill, has been owning his shit, and has been learning game and spinning plates to one degree or another. I like reading his blog because he’s actually a really good writer. I feel like I’m right there, listening to him say what he’s got to say. His blog is mostly about his different adventures with the different women that he’s met over the last several months and how he feels about them and about himself. He’s definitely a guy who is blogging his own personal journey with women.

On one of his latest posts, he had this to say:

I genuinely enjoy Midwest’s [one of his girls -ed.] company whether we’re having sex or not. That’s enough for me to keep her around. I don’t feel drained when I’m around her.

I get where he’s coming from. While I enjoy random, casual sex with what my ex-wife referred to as my “strange women,” I also enjoy them for their company. I don’t always have to have sex, and sometimes I’m just not in the mood, although it doesn’t take much for me to get in the mood. That’s one of many things that I like about Teriyaki. We don’t just have sex. We have conversations and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. She’s actually fun to be around.

One of the things that I noticed pretty early on with her is that she is comfortable with silence. She doesn’t feel the need to fill up the empty space between us with a lot of conversation and sound. When I’m working on something like a video or a blog post, she’s perfectly content to do her own thing. She doesn’t need constant communication and constant talk. Just being in some form of proximity is good enough for her.

I like that about her. When I was married, my ex-wife couldn’t stand silence and so she constantly talked. She once told me, “There wasn’t an unspoken thought in her head,” and she wasn’t kidding. Having to constantly listen and keep track of all the babble that came out of that woman’s mouth was exhausting to say the least. I tried for a while, but eventually gave up as it became too much for me to keep track of everything going on in my own head, let alone her head. The only time that my ex-wife would shut up was when one of her favorite TV shows was on. Then at least I wouldn’t have to hear her ramble on about whatever was rattling around in her head. Until it was commercial time, then let the onslaught commence. That’s how it was for the entire duration of our marriage.

My ex-girlfriend was good with silence and was good with doing her own thing too. I didn’t have to listen and keep up with every little thought that ran around in her head. Teriyaki is no different. I guess I’m doing something “right.” It goes to show that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

My whole point of writing this post isn’t to wax poetically about Teriyaki, but it is to say that I know that I look for more than “just sex.” I may not be looking for monogamy and “playing house,” and while a fast “pump and dump” is nice on occasion, I mostly look for a stronger connection than just a sexual one. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I sometimes wonder if one of the reasons that guys will readily and willingly jump into monogamy and commitment isn’t just because of thirst and the availability of easy sex, but is also because they sometimes stumble upon someone, at least early on, who they genuinely enjoy being around, or they think that they enjoy being around. Someone that they can have a conversation and do stuff with as well as have sex with.

I’m pretty sure that this is the case to one degree or another, but I felt it needed to be said. Sometimes the guys on the internet get so caught up in “only banging 9’s and 10’s” and what is or isn’t “Alpha,” and painting green lines on pictures, and pointing out that the more you lean, the bigger simp you are, that they forget why they are there.

It isn’t about leaning or not leaning, it isn’t about what is or isn’t alpha, it’s about creating connections. Whether those connections only last for a few hours, or they last for years, it’s about creating connections.

Hopefully some of those guys that I previously mentioned will see this and read it and it’ll help them get themselves back on course.

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Be Gone. Stay Gone.

October 14, 2020January 2, 2021 Rob Says3 Comments

2020-10-12 (4)

I tweeted this little nugget the other day:

“If you’re gone, then be gone. Stay gone. I don’t have time for anything else.” – Me

I tweeted this because out of nowhere, my ex-girlfriend decided to text me. I haven’t texted with her in over 8 months and it’s been over 9 months since I last actually talked to her. The funny thing is, she texted me 9 months to the exact day from the last time that I talked to her.

I’m not going to go into the particulars of her text other than it felt like a “feeler.” Like she wanted to dip her toes in the water and test out the temperature. Maybe that’s what she is doing, maybe not. I do know that I had posted some videos and pictures to Instagram from The Village By The Lake that had been taken about a week before I posted them. I also happen to know that she follows me on Instagram.

According to her, she had been thinking about me lately. I guess seeing videos and pictures of someone from your past will do that.

I saw this little gem right before I started writing this particular post:

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“If your ex texts you, it’s probably because she tried to replace you, but failed.” – @GotPickup

I wonder if there is any truth to that.

I’ve always wondered about this when an ex shows up back in my life. I’ve always wondered why. I only did that one time, and that was over 28 years ago. I had reached out to my “One,” and I had wanted her back. I recall her saying, “I’m sorry Rob, but that door is closed to you forever.” It crushed me then, but looking back on it with the eyes of wisdom, it was a good thing that we never did try again.

I’ve never really been good at “being friends” when a relationship ends. If I end it, I realize that I don’t want her in my life anymore and I don’t see any reason for staying in touch. In a great majority of the cases, I don’t hold any animosity or harbor any grudges or bad feelings, I just don’t see the point in staying in touch. As I see it, the only thing that we have in common is our past and I don’t see the point in strolling down memory lane.

If my partner ended the relationship, well I don’t see any point in staying in touch there either. The hard truth that you need to accept is that that person decided that they no longer want to be with you and have you in their lives to the degree that you were when you were together. As far as I’m concerned, if someone doesn’t want to be with me, I don’t want to be with them. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?

I tried explaining this to my Mother many years ago and all she could say about it was that I “wasn’t a sentimental person.” Maybe that’s true to some degree. I don’t live in my past like a lot of people do, I would rather live in the present and look toward the future.

Here’s a short passage from Fuccfiles by Rian Stone:

EkILfdtX0AAVrX0

While he is talking more specifically about guys being beta orbiters, the point still stands. I think he’s totally correct here. She doesn’t want you, she wants to know she could have you. Otherwise you would be together. Maybe that’s just another way of saying what was said earlier about she tried to replace you and most likely failed. I honestly don’t know.

“She didn’t want me, but she didn’t want me to be with anyone else.” – My Dad talking about my Mother after she died.

I still get a sick feeling in my stomach and those words still ring in my ears when I think about what my Father said to me the day after my Mother died.

In all of my years and all of my experiences with women over those years, that has to be the most brutal thing I have ever heard from another man. I still try to fathom why a guy would choose to stick around a woman who doesn’t want to be with him and I can’t wrap my head around it. I can understand if he knows that she doesn’t want him and he’s just biding his time to exit, like waiting for his children who are close to adulthood to finish growing up, and then he is out. I can understand that ulterior motive, but the “unrequited love” thing, I just don’t get it. I can’t comprehend it.

I’m not sure how many women read my blog, but I imagine that there are a couple of you out there who do. I’m going to say something that is going to be pretty unpopular:

Men and women can’t “just be friends.”

Actually they can, but only in two circumstances:

There is no attraction from either party.
Both of you are gay.

If there is attraction from one side, but not the other, there will be “unrequited love,” covert contracts, and ultimately conflict, confusion, and heartbreak. While I do believe that men and women can possibly be friends if there is no attraction from either party, I also believe that we are different enough when it comes to the goals, aspirations, and desires that we each have. Basically, if there is no mutual attraction, there isn’t enough “other things” there to keep a serious, stable friendship between a man and a woman. In short, you want a friend? Get a dog.

When I have said that I would like to “remain friends” with a woman after a relationship had ended, the truth was that I was looking not for a chance to “get back together,” but more for a chance at still having sex with that person. If sex wasn’t an option, then why bother being friends? It was the sex and intimacy that was the glue of the relationship and our interests were different enough that they wouldn’t carry us through as “just friends.”

Basically, I don’t give a shit about her interests unless I’m having sex with her or that there could be the possibility of me having sex with her. My interests are going to be unique enough that most women aren’t going to be into the same things that I am and that’s okay. If we aren’t having sex or the possibility of us having sex isn’t there though, why should I care about what she cares about?

This is why I don’t “remain friends” with women. I either know that sex isn’t a possibility or I don’t want it from her anymore, so why waste time talking about things that I don’t care about and she probably doesn’t care about either? Why waste either of our time?

No hard feelings, but if you are gone, then be gone and stay gone.

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Gaming And OnlyFans

October 7, 2020January 2, 2021 Rob Says8 Comments

2020-10-05 (3)

The Red Quest asked an important question on Twitter the other day:

“Is it just me, or are pretty much no guys in their 20’s writing about the game? Is the next generation illiterate? Too addicted to video games? Where are they?”

It got me to thinking because while I know that there are much younger guys out there talking about “game,” that number is incredibly small. I would hazard that the majority of guys who are talking and writing about game are either in their 30’s and definitely into their 40’s. It seems interesting to me that the majority of guys writing about game are in fact, older. Why is that?

A reply to the Red Quest may shed some light on the subject:

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“Dude the whole Game stuff is kinda Boomer tbh. Newer gens more interested in gaming and Onlyfans.” – H.M. Brough @HMBroughMD

If that is in fact true, then the future generations may actually be genuinely lost.

Gaming and OnlyFans….

The gaming part I can sort of understand and relate to to some degree. I grew up with a video game console in hand. The Atari 2600 was the first console that I owned when I was a young lad.

I then “graduated” up to the original Nintendo (8 bit), moved on to the Atari Jaguar when that became the next thing, moved on yet again to the original Playstation, then to Playstation 2, and even ended up with a Wii.

Most of my gaming I got out of my system when I was under 20 and before I went on to college. My only “stint” with online gaming was back in about 2003 or 2004 when I got into Eve Online, and woo boy, I went down a dark rabbit hole on that one. Let’s just say that I spent about 4 years living inside that game. Every day from when I first started to when I “gave it up” in 2007 revolved around work and Eve and that was pretty much it for me.

Weekends were spent on Eve “ganking noobs in a gatecamp.” I would get up early to play before I needed to go to work and when I got home after a ten hour shift, it was time to pay Eve a visit. She was a cruel mistress that demanded absolute loyalty. During those years I would still occasionally get laid, but it was seriously like once or twice a year that sex would happen.

Picking up women wasn’t that hard, at least I didn’t think so. Then again I was using online dating at that time and I knew that the pickings weren’t all that great. Then again, I wasn’t looking to “date” or get into a relationship either. It was sex, pure and simple. After that, she could leave and if I saw her again, great. If not, that was okay too. Eve gave me most of my needs, other than physical, and that could be satisfied with the occasional random woman from the internet when that need became too pressing or too demanding.

It wasn’t until I met my future wife that gaming then took a backseat to everything else and I’m glad for that. I could have spent decades on Eve. It was that entertaining and that “powerful.” Even now I think about getting back into Eve, but I know that if I do, I’m pretty much done. It’s like a heroin addict or an alcoholic saying that they can have just one fix or just one drink after years of being off the juice or off the sauce. There’s no such thing as “just one.” Not really.

So I stay off Eve even though I’ve seen “teaser” videos show up in my timeline and on YouTube. Man it’s tempting, I’m not going to lie. If I ever just disappear off the internet altogether without a goodbye or some sort of “farewell,” you can figure that I gave up the fight and went back to Eve. Look for my corpse there if that happens. Call the police while you are at it so that they can do a welfare check on me.

I say this in jest somewhat, but not really. That’s how entertaining and powerful that game is. I can only imagine what other games are like these days. I was even hesitant to get into “Among Us” with some friends of mine, but I decided to take the leap and see what would happen. Thankfully I can play that game, have a ton of fun with other people, but I can turn it off no problem, walk away from it for days on end, and get on with the rest of my life. “Among Us” doesn’t have the power or the entertainment factor that Eve has apparently.

I get why the younger crowd can get sucked down the gaming rabbit hole, it’s actually fairly common, which I do find sad. OnlyFans though, that’s one that I don’t understand. I know it’s a relatively “new phenomenon” as far as porn and sex work go, but I don’t understand the appeal of it.

I get that women of all ages would want to start an OnlyFans account in the hopes of making easy money and if you already have an audience from another platform and you know how to market yourself, or you know someone that can do the marketing for you, you can actually make some decent money at it. Hell, if you know what you are doing, I would say that you can make a lot of money at it. What’s not to like about that? You get to be your own boss for the most part, you don’t have to interact with real live people in your physical space if you don’t want to, and you can pretty much set your price. “Safe sex,” no pimps, no violent, creepy people, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. What’s not to like about that?

For the guys who sign up for OnlyFans and become a “fan” though, I don’t understand that one. You are willing to pay money to a person that in all likelihood you will never meet in person. You are literally another nameless, faceless avatar throwing money at some person in the hopes that they will pay attention to you, even if it’s just for a moment. Maybe I’m wrong here, but that’s all it seems like to me. Guys throwing money in the hopes of gaining attention and currying favor with some cam person.

No physical contact, no actual sex, and no genuine intimacy. In short, no real human connection. That’s the saddest part of all. I just don’t understand it and to be honest, except from an intellectual standpoint, I don’t want to understand it.

Real life is far more interesting and savory than anything that can be found online. Take it from someone who came back from the rabbit hole of gaming. I know.

What’s to come for the future generations when the guys who write about game decide to move on with their lives and stop writing and communicating about it? Is it going to be guys “digging up” the “Mystery Method” and “Speed Seduction” and what is old is new again? Honestly, most likely. But then again, with things like OnlyFans thrown into the mix now, I have no idea how this is all going to turn out for the future guys. Sex robots? That seems just as likely too, why not? I just don’t know.

All I do know is that technology is causing a disconnect for everybody involved in its use. Tech giveth and tech taketh away. Use your tech judiciously and wisely is all that I can say. Play your games if that is what you enjoy but don’t let them consume you. And things like OnlyFans? My only advice on that one is to stay away from it entirely.

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