Category: *

Random Assholes On The Internet

Rob Says3 Comments

person wearing black topcoat holding black umbrella

What started out as a post on the Masculine Geek newsletter turned into a post here. I’ve fleshed it out a little bit more here, but you should go and sign up for the newsletter there if you haven’t. You’re missing out if you don’t.

Okay guys, this is a little “tongue-in-cheek,” but then again, not really.

I’m sitting here listening to a guy talk about the coronavirus while I’m typing this, wondering what the deal is with the coronavirus. Is it a big deal? Is it a “natural phenomenon?” Is it a biological weapon that got loose? I wonder if we will ever know, and does it really even matter?

Point is, the guy I’m listening to right now, I know nothing about this guy. He’s a random asshole on the internet. He mentioned his credentials, but are they real? Do they even matter? (In this particular circumstance, I would say that his credentials DO in fact matter.) Credentials can be manufactured, see “diploma mill.” Credentials can be made up with nothing but an imagination and a half decent printer, and that’s if you want to print something out and hang it on the wall. Otherwise you can keep it as a handy PDF to distribute as needed.

Most people, and I’ve been guilty of this myself, are lazy. They don’t take the time to do the research to find out if a set of credentials are in fact, legitimate. 

We live in a day and age of information overload. It’s not that there isn’t enough information available, it’s that we have too much information available. We are literally swamped with information and not all of it is accurate or even true. The internet is awesome make no doubt, but it is a double-edged sword as well. While it’s easier now than ever to “reach out and touch someone,” you need to keep in mind who some of those “someone’s” are.

I have a general rule of thumb when it comes to people on the internet, and that is, they are all “random asshole’s on the internet.” Until I meet them, preferably face-to-face, but at a bare minimum, a video call/conference, whatever you want to call it, is what is in order for me to move them from “random asshole” to something above and beyond “random asshole.”

I’ve met Vince, TJ, and Aaron face to face as well as several other guys. They aren’t random assholes. They may still be assholes, but they aren’t random anymore. They are guys who walk the walk and talk the talk. When they say something I tend to listen to them and give what they say some weight. That’s because I’ve actually gotten to know them. You should strive to do the same thing.

Even with me.

Right now, if I haven’t met you in some form, I’m just a random asshole on the internet running my mouth. I could be completely full of shit and have no idea what I’m talking about, and it would be to your detriment to take what I say and run with it.

Keep this in mind when you are dealing with anyone, especially on the internet. You don’t know them from a hole in the ground and whatever they are saying and/or selling could be complete garbage that will end up only hurting you. It’s okay to be skeptical, in fact, I consider a healthy dose of skepticism to be normal and healthy. Too many people today are far too willing and eager to jump on somebody’s bandwagon simply because that person either looked good, or they liked what they had to say.

Another thing to keep in mind:

Familiarity.

You see it all the time. Guys who are constantly posting on social media, whether it’s because that’s how they earn their living, or because they are attention seeking whores, or simply because they are bored and have nothing better to do with their lives. You see them spouting off all the time. That doesn’t mean that they know what they are talking about. However, you get comfortable seeing them running their mouths. You get used to them, they become a part of the background of your daily routine. And then they say or do something that grabs your attention. Maybe you liked what they said or did. Next thing you know, you’re buying their program and repeating their mantras and you became one of their biggest fans.

That’s all well and good if what you are getting from them is good for you and you are getting value out of it. But then again, maybe it’s not good for you, but you are too close to it to see it. You can’t see the forest because of all the trees. You’ve become too invested.

While familiarity can breed contempt, it can also breed comfort. Many affairs start out in the workplace simply because of proximity, common goals, and familiarity. There’s a certain level of comfort there and arousal can be generated from it.

The guy spouting off all the time on the internet can be creating that sense of comfort and familiarity as well. Maybe it’s intentional, maybe not, but you need to be aware of it and keep it in mind when dealing with them.

It’s easy to want to take short-cuts in our thinking. We do it all the time. In fact, if we had to critically think about every single thing that we want to do, we would either end up completely exhausted from just getting out of bed and using the bathroom in the morning, or we would probably end up going crazy. It’s easy to listen to someone that actually knows what they are talking about because they have proven it time and time again. Nothing wrong with that.

It’s also easy to take that short-cut and hand it off to some random person on the internet simply because they are saying what we want to hear or because they dress a certain way, or because we consider them attractive. Or because they remind us of someone that we like and trust. These are the times that we really need to slow down and use our critical thinking skills and say to ourselves, “Hey, this is just some random asshole on the internet. Maybe I need to look into this some more before going all in.”

Better that way than learning the lesson the hard way.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

“I Only Bang 9’s and 10’s Brah”

Rob Says2 Comments
group of woman wearing bikini on body of water
How Would You Rate These Hunnies, Brah?

I’ve always sort of struggled with the “1-10 scale,” and that’s because, at least to me, it’s so subjective. What I consider an “8” you might consider a “5.” I see and hear guys on Twitter all the time saying stupid shit like, “I only bang 9’s and 10’s brah,” and it makes me laugh and roll my eyes.

Maybe I’m an extremely harsh critic, but I’ve never seen a “10” in the wild. I’ve never met one personally or been introduced to one face-to-face. That’s because, to me, a “10” is literally “perfect.” There are literally no flaws, at least physically, that I can see. I’ve definitely seen my share of “5’s,” “6’s,” “7’s,” and “8’s,” and I’ve even encountered what I would consider to be a “9” or even a “9.5” in the wild. In all of the years that I’ve been walking on the planet, I could count all the “9’s” and the “9.5” on one hand, and probably still have a finger or two left over.

That being said, I don’t ever recall seeing someone so ugly, so deformed, so hideous, as to be considered a “1.” To me, a “1” would be that person that no one would want to fuck, it’s really that bad. So that leaves the “2’s” on up to the “9.5” that I’ve encountered in real life.

I know I have my standards, as I’m sure you do as well. It gets really interesting when you move from the purely physical, to such things as personality, scent, and voice. I’ve met women that on initial approach, I would have rated them a solid “8,” only to catch a whiff of them, or hear them talk, or find out her personality is, let us say, “unpleasant,” and she drops to maybe a “5.” Sometimes even lower if the smell, personality, and voice are all left to be desired.

I’ve also encountered women that on initial approach I would have rated a solid “6.5,” and due to their personality, the way they smell, and their pleasant sounding voice, they got bumped up to a “7.5,” or even an “8.” Have that “6” do her hair, put on a little makeup in just the right amount, and have her throw on her “little black dress” and she moves up to an “8.5.”

You see and understand where I’m going with this don’t you? Everybody has their standards of what they find as attractive and everybody is throwing random numbers around. I’ve seen women rated as “10’s” that I would never even come close to giving that high of a mark to them. Other than seeing models in magazines (do you remember those?) or pictures on the internet, I honestly don’t believe a “10” exists.

Back in the day, Hot or Not used to let you rate people based purely on their looks. You might have been able to guess or get an age, and you might have had a name thrown in there for good measure, but that was it. It would blow me away when I saw women getting “10’s” or “9’s” as their rating, when to me, they might have made for a good “7” or “7.5” At least with Hot or Not, they would average all of the ratings out and you had a better idea of their “true rating.” Not super scientific, but at least it was something.

I even threw a picture of myself up there for shits and giggles, because aren’t we all curious what other’s think of our attractiveness? Of course I got rated as a “1” a couple of times (ouch!) and there were even a couple of “9’s” and “10’s” thrown my way (all I could figure was that I either fit that person’s particular niche, or they were just being really generous.) Turns out after about 500 ratings or so, I averaged at a “6.5” Not bad. It’s actually about where I would have rated myself in the past.

The thing is, the 1-10 scale is not only subjective in the sense of what we individually find attractive, it’s also subjective in the sense of what we think women ought to be.

A “5” is the top of the bell curve. She is average in every sense. She’s neither too thin or too fat. She’s not ugly, but she’s not beautiful. She honestly wouldn’t garner a second look if you were to meet her on the street. She’s just, average.

However, women (and men) today have changed over the years. Obesity is unfortunately the norm now. An “average” woman today is going to be overweight. Maybe not the clinical definition of obese or morbidly obese, but she’s going to be overweight. I’ve seen this firsthand on dating sites and apps where women today are describing themselves as “average” and yet to me, they are overweight. “Thin” is actually still thin, or in some cases, what I would consider “average.” Average to me has always been height/weight proportionate.

What are we to do in order to have some sort of standard when it comes to the 1-10 scale? How are we supposed to come to a concensus of what an actual “5,” or any other number actually is? Are we just “fated” to leaving the 1-10 scale as simply a matter of subjective preference and just “know beauty when you see it?”

Aaron Clarey over at CaptainCapitalism actually came up with an answer that I think actually works out if we are going to have some sort of realistic concensus as to what an actual “5” or any other number actually means in today’s day and age.

Go check it out.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.

“My Legacy”

Rob Says2 Comments
man talking picture while smiling
Legacy Porn for Power Dads.

I’ve been seeing “My Legacy” tweets and posts a lot lately. If you are on Twitter and are part of the same circles that I run around in, I’m sure you are seeing it too.

Guys showing off their kids and what they are doing with them. Guys talking about their families and posting pictures of them.

On the surface, there is nothing wrong with this, as far as I’m concerned. It’s a guy who is trying to be a positive role model for other guys who either have families of their own, or for guys who are interested in starting a family of their own one day.

But let’s dig a little deeper…

Let’s start off with the guys who talk about “my legacy.” Notice the first word in the quotes. “My.” It’s not about his family or his kid’s. It’s not about their well-being or what they want, or even about how they are being raised. It’s about him. It’s about getting digital high-fives and back slaps. It’s about “atta boys” and recognition. In short, it’s about validation seeking. The “my legacy” types are more worried about their “legacies” than how their kids feel about it.

I may not be a father, but I am a son and I was once a teenager. What happened when I was a teenager and even a young man? I rebelled. I rebelled against my family because they too, were more concerned about their “legacy” than they were with what I wanted out of life and how I felt about it. Many of the father’s and even some of the mother’s that I see talking about their “legacy” have young children. Most of these children haven’t become teenagers yet. They are still at that young, fun, impressionable age where Mom and Dad are gods and good guys. It’s going to be interesting to see how that dynamic plays out in the next few years or the next decade.

Worrying about your “legacy” is self-centered in my opinion. I think a lot of the father’s writing about their families are missing the point. It’s not about you. It’s about your kid’s. They are autonomous human beings with feelings and wishes of their own. Growing up being brainwashed by religion and family is a great way to create rebels and black sheep.

I was raised and grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s pretty much the LDS capital of the world. On the surface, it looks idyllic. Nuclear families where the father is the patriarch, mom stays at home and raises the kids. Kids are happy, healthy, so on and so forth, etc., etc. The truth is, many of the families are not nuclear anymore. No-fault divorce is just as accepted and legal in Utah as it is anywhere else in the United States. Drug use, prescription drug use, is high here in Utah. Everybody is on anti-depressants. I’m not making this up. Google the statistics for yourself.

Most of the kids that I grew up with rebelled. Drug use, drinking, pre-marital sex, unplanned pregnancies, all of that was a thing during my youth and still is today. One thing that has changed is young people committing suicide. That has gone up since when I was younger. If life is so grand, why are they killing themselves? Boredom? They’ve peaked out and therefore life can’t get any better, so might as well end it now?

No. That’s not it.

I don’t have all the answers to that question because it’s a complex question, but I can say with certainty because I have lived in it and experienced it firsthand, a big part of it is about perfection. Being perfect, having the perfect little life and family. At least on first glance and on paper.

The truth is, Mom and Dad are popping pills and drinking heavily. The kids are doing the same. Mom and Dad are having affairs and the kids are out screwing like the human animals that they are, but nobody wants to talk about it or address it. Everybody shows up to church on Sunday and it’s business as usual. Teenage pregnancy is high because nobody wants to talk about sex except abstinence. “Sex is something that is between a husband and a wife. You don’t do it until you are married.”

I hate to throw around the term narcissistic fantasy, but the “my legacy” crowd is indeed doing that very thing. It’s not about their kids really. It’s about them. The only difference that I’m seeing now is that they are doing it online instead of in the pews on Sunday. Mother’s and Father’s bragging about how great and wonderful their kids are, while their son is out stealing cars. Talking about how their son is going to go on a mission when he is old enough to do so, and that same son is out drinking and smoking weed, saying he will never go on a mission to his friends. The bishop of the ward talking about the sins of premarital sex, and his son is busy knocking up his “one true love.”

I’m not exaggerating when I say this stuff, I witnessed all of this with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears. I grew up with it, and nothing has changed.

I think it’s going to be interesting when the “legacy” crowd has their sons and daughters hit their teenage years and many of them rebel. These young families think they have it hard now, they haven’t gone through the crucible of the teenage and early twenty-something years. What I can’t wrap my head around is, they were teenagers once themselves, and not too long ago. They are closer to their teenage years than I am. Have they already forgotten? Did they not rebel? Did they follow their parents’ blueprint to having a “great family?” Or are they going to “do it different” than dear old Mom and Dad did?

Your “legacy” shouldn’t be about your kids in all honesty. Raising children is something that almost everybody does at some point. Ejaculating in a woman and her getting pregnant isn’t a feat. You aren’t special because you had kids. Your kids aren’t your legacy.

Every time I see or hear someone spout off about their “legacy,” I can think of several people who decided that hanging around and taking care of their parents in their old age wasn’t in the plans. I’ve seen people disown their families, walk out the door, and never look back, and with no regrets. My ex-wife’s oldest daughter has two children of her own as I’m writing this, and my ex-wife, the grandmother of these two children, has never seen those children in person and never will. Her oldest daughter will talk to me, but she won’t talk to her own mother. There’s a legacy for you.

I’ve seen “legacies” end up behind bars. I’ve seen them drink themselves to death or overdose on heroin. I’ve seen them join gangs. Your legacy can’t be your family as far as I’m concerned because they don’t owe you anything and they aren’t obligated to you. They can walk out of your life legally the moment they hit the age of majority and never look back. They are autonomous beings with thoughts, feelings, and desires of their own. Give them the space to explore that without the pressure of trying to live up to your legacy.

You want to be a Dad and raise kids? Fine, do that. I don’t have a problem with that. I hope your kids turn out okay and that they are happy and healthy. But don’t make it about you. You chose to have kids, they didn’t choose you. If you want to leave a legacy behind, make it about something else. Otherwise you’ll probably fuck your kids up. That, and all families have kids right? That’s the very definition of a family. Raising kids isn’t an achievement, it’s what everybody does.

Sharpen Your Mind. Weaponize It. Start here and here. Sign up for my newsletter.