I’m sitting here and as of this writing, it’s currently 3am in the morning. I’m exhausted in many ways and at the same time, I’m wired and wide awake. It’s been a minute since I’ve felt this way.

I saw a woman the other night and we enjoyed each other’s company and I specifically enjoyed her flesh, and that’s what prompted me to write what I’m going to write about today.

How did we as Men go from enjoying the company of women, enjoying them as people, and enjoying their flesh, to perceiving them as “the enemy?” How did we come to talk about them, not as individuals with personalities and skin that you could touch, taste, and feel, to seeing them as something abstract, something theoretical?

I don’t understand this “space” online anymore. “The Manosphere.” At one time we were “swapping notes” about improving our sex lives, learning how to date and have sex with women, and even finding ways to get a girlfriend or wife if that was what you desired. Now it’s “whamen bad,” “semen retention,” “saving the West,” and all sorts of nonsense that is totally irrelevant to most Men’s lives. I know it’s totally irrelevant to mine.

Guys have gone from practical, pragmatic solutions, to platitudes and naval gazing. It’s “chick crack woo-woo,” only it’s for guys. All I can do is shake my head and wonder what happened and where we took a wrong turn. Or at least where most of the guys online took a wrong turn. All I can figure is that most of them don’t actually want to get laid. The flesh is a beautiful and terrifying thing. There’s nothing like it in the world as far as sensation goes. There’s nothing like touching and caressing a woman’s cheek and jaw. There’s nothing like sliding your hand up and down her arm, there’s nothing like licking the sweat off of her breasts and stomach and tasting the salt, and of course, there’s nothing like that sensation when you first penetrate her.

It’s terrifying too, because when you are dealing with the flesh you are “vulnerable.” All the macho, “alpha male” bullshit is going to go right out the window. If it doesn’t, you’ll be too much in your own head to be able to enjoy her and enjoy yourself in the moment. You’ll be too worried about things that don’t matter and you might even blow yourself out of the water when “victory” was literally spread-eagle in front of you.

All I can figure with all of the platitudes, nonsense, and general bullshit that is irrelevant that is going on is that if you are one of the guys who are doing it, you must be terrified. Terrified of women. Terrified of the flesh. You would rather talk about green lines, leaning in, black coffee, cold showers, semen retention, saving the west, 9’s and 10’s, ad nauseum, than actually going out, meeting women, and getting to sex.

Know that from here on out, I’m just going to shake my head, laugh at you, even pity you to a certain degree, and consider that you have no idea what you are talking about, and that you’re probably a virgin to boot. Petty I know, but I’m done fucking around with the nonsense. I’m just going to see whatever it is that you’re saying as a way of saying, “I’m telling you I don’t fuck without telling you I don’t fuck, Rob.”

It’s a shame that you cannot or will not enjoy the flesh. It’s literally how you, me, and everyone else on this planet got here. It’s literally why we are here.

It’s what gets me up in the morning, gets me to go to work, and it’s what puts me to sleep at night. What’s the point in doing anything at all if there isn’t women around to fuck? Why work? Why “stack cash?” Why go to the gym? Why do anything at all? I’ve talked about this before, back in 2019 no less, so I’m not going to go on and beat a dead horse here.

Guys, life is short. And there’s nothing better than an orgasm. Everything else is LARPing. Keep that in mind.

A couple of years ago, I stumbled across a blog called Black Dragon. That blog is now known as Caleb Jones. Caleb aka, Black Dragon is a guy who is trying to help other guys improve their lives, both physically, financially, and sexually. He “specializes” in being an older guy who picks up much younger women. In one of his blog posts, he talked about Change. I’ll be damned if I can’t find that article anymore, maybe he took it down at some point, but it really got me to thinking.

In that article about change, Black Dragon speculated that most guys, when it comes to their women, need some form of change. In many cases it can be just changing up sexual positions, role-playing, adding a wig or a different outfit to the mix, but they are still really good with the same woman.

But then there are other guys who need Change. Entirely different women. I think I tend to fall into this latter category. I’ve loved and lost over the years and I’ve been with some truly beautiful (at least in my eyes) women and they are fantastic in their own right. But I always catch myself wandering. Looking at other women. Wondering what it would be like to have sex with them. I’m sure most guys have “wandering eye syndrome” and have fantasized about having sex with someone entirely different from their current partner, but how many have actually taken steps to go from that fantasy to a reality?

When I first met my ex-wife, she knew that I was seeing other people. She referred to them as my “Strange Women.” She knew that I had no problem going out and picking women up in clubs or bars and taking them home. And it’s not a problem if you don’t step on your own dick and you don’t look like a complete schlub. Bars, not noisy, overly loud dance clubs, are great places to meet women who want and are looking to get laid. Many of my past successes when it came to one night stands came from bars and karaoke clubs. It was definitely a place where I was the right guy, in the right place, at the right time. Trust me, my game was nowhere near “tight.” But going to a bar, meeting a woman, talking with her, flirting with her, dancing with her if there is music going on, and then making out with her to some degree is possible in my world. Not only is it possible, it’s probable. Not only is it probable, it’s normal. Taking them home or somewhere else is normal and is part of the plan. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way I’m good.

When my marriage was starting to deteriorate, my now ex-wife asked me why I with her. I was honest. It was because at the time that I had met her, she was new. She wasn’t new anymore. Granted our marriage fell apart over much much more than just the fact that she wasn’t “new” anymore. The collapse was a lot more complex than just that. But it was a part of it.

It was also a part of my last serious long term relationship falling apart. My ex-girlfriend would have been a hard 8 on the scale for most guys, and she was definitely a hard 8 for me. And yet…. There were all these other women out there.

I’m not delusional in thinking that the “grass is greener on the other side of the fence.” It doesn’t stop me from wanting to go roll around in that grass anyways.

I was mentioning this to BullRush after the Let ‘Em Burn show that we had recently done and he said I was “Chasing the Dragon.” I like the sound of that phrase. It has a ring to it. I also looked it up online and found there is an actual definition to it. Chasing the Dragon is primarily about heroin users chasing a high. It’s drug users that are chasing that rush. He wasn’t wrong though.

That chemical cocktail that courses through our bodies, that we either call Lust or Love, is more potent than any drug on this planet as far as I’m concerned. More potent than heroin, opium, cocaine, or even meth. More potent than alcohol. I know I have said and done some completely stupid fucked up shit while being high from being either in Lust or Love. I know I can’t think straight when I’m caught up in it. I know that I know this and I keep chasing the dragon anyways.

While I do know and would agree with just about anyone who says that sex over time with the same person usually gets better and better, and it does, I also know that there is something about that very first time that you have sex with someone that is literally more of a stranger than not. It’s a rush. While I may not come as hard as I have with someone who has gotten to know my body over time, that first orgasm in some strange literally can’t be beat, at least for me.

Call it “the hunt” vs “the kill” or whatever you want, but to me, it’s Chasing the Dragon. And I don’t know if I’ll ever “get over it” or “beat it.” And honestly, I don’t know if I want to “get over it” or “beat it.”

I want to give credit to the guys who have been with the same woman for years and years. You’ve got something there that I have never had and probably never will have. In that sense, you are a “better” man than me. But I’m okay with who and what I am. Honestly, the concept of being with the same woman for the majority of my life is an alien and foreign concept to me. Much like people talking about siblings. I’ve never had a sibling or siblings, so to know what that is like is completely foreign to me. It’s simply beyond my grasp other than in a theoretical stance.

The longest I have ever had only one woman in my life was 7 years total, and that was my ex-wife. We were together for two years and married for five years after that. My last long term relationship was just barely over 4 years when it ended. Those are my two longest relationships that I have ever had since I started dating back when I was 16. Everything else was a handful of one night stands, a few “dirty weekends,” a couple of things that lasted anywhere from a month to about 8 months, with an average of maybe 3 months total. It’s usually around 3 months, if not sooner, that I start wanting to “Chase the Dragon” once again.

Oh Rob, you just haven’t “met the right woman yet.” Maybe. I highly doubt that though. Maybe it’s just me and who I am. Maybe I’m wired differently in that respect from the so-called “average guy.” Maybe it’s because I’m so fascinated with “strange.” Maybe it’s because I know, deep down, that unless we have something truly apocalyptic and bizarre that wipes the majority of the women off the face of the map, there’s always another woman. Because there is. There’s always another woman. My problem is there’s so many women that I want to meet, and yes, to fuck, and I don’t have enough energy or time left on this planet to do it.