Author: Rob Says

A man who loves and likes women.

Roll With It

Rob Says2 Comments

people in concert

Mr. Skelton Elton and I went out again on Saturday night. We hit a couple of different bar/clubs, had a few drinks, and had a great time.

One area that I’m really “rusty” in is my night game. I haven’t gone clubbing in years, and even going to the occasional bar in the past, I’ve always had women with me, or it was a night with the guys, and there were few to no women around. Getting back out there with Skelton is good for him and for me as well. If you want to pick up women, it’s better in my opinion, to be able to meet them in all sorts of environments. Sure, it’s best when you can find a niche of your own to fish in, it will get you the best results overall, but it’s good to be able to move in any environment.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is to be open to pretty much anything happening at any time. I’ve learned to just “roll with it.”

Just “rolling with it” is when you’re out on the dance floor, moving to the music, and a woman slides up next to you, and starts to dance. Slide in to her, put your arms around her, and pull her in. Go all in. It’s a yes until it’s a no, that’s one that Vincent mentioned to me when I first met him and it’s a good mentality to have. It’s a yes until it’s a no.

When I first met my ex-wife years ago, she knew a little about my past. I guess it preceded me. She called the women that I had met, my “strange women.” These were the women that I met at bars and clubs, and also on the street. These were the women that I took home rapidly. You can think and say what you want about these women, that they were “low hanging fruit,” or that they were “easy,” or whatever you want. Maybe they were, but I don’t think they were. They were just women. They were women doing what women do. They were out looking for an adventure, looking to have fun and have a good time, and I was the guy willing to give them that adventure and that good time. Nothing more, nothing less.

I had to be flexible and adaptable and open to whatever would show up though. Whether I would only mingle with those women for 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months or even 5 years, it didn’t matter to me. It was just living in that moment, being in the present, and being open to whatever without having a whole lot of expectations.

Guys,

It’s a yes until it’s a no.

Be open to whatever shows up.

Be open to the idea that whatever does show up for you, that it’s normal. And not only that it’s normal, but it’s basically “business as usual.” It happens all the time. It’s just another day in your amazing life.

When whatever shows up in your life is normal and business as usual, and it’s a yes until it’s a no, you lead from there. Taking her hand and leading her where you want to go, whether it’s on the dance floor, or it’s taking her back to your home, that’s normal and it’s business as usual. Just roll with it.

“Dirty dancing” with a woman and you don’t even know her name? That’s normal. Kissing her on the same dance floor after only dancing with her for a short time? That’s normal. Taking her somewhere else and ultimately ending up in bed with her that same night? That’s normal. It’s a yes until it’s a no. It’s business as usual. It’s no big deal. It’s just another day in your life. Just roll with it. Don’t overthink it. Just roll with it. All of it is normal. All of it is expected, it’s just who you are and what you do.

And if it goes to a no? That’s no big deal either. It happens. No need to overthink that one either. No need to beat yourself up. Just roll with that too. Make a mental note about it, and then move on. Next woman, next dance, next place. Same amazing life though. She decided that it’s a no for whatever reason? Roll with it. It’s a no from her, but there’s another woman right behind her that it’s a yes until it’s a no. Keep at it and keep rolling.

Whatever you believe is normal in your life is what you will see and what you will get. It’s what you will be open to. If you think women are strange, mystical unicorns that are unfathomable, and therefore unapproachable, that’s what you will see and what you will get. If you think that they are lusty, goofy, funny, insecure creatures that are just as confused and worried about themselves as you are about you, that’s what you will get. My question to you is: which one is more approachable? The mystical and the unknown one? Or the lusty, goofy, confused one? Which one do you think you would be able to relate to?

As a related aside, someone sent me a link which goes far more indepth as to what I’m speaking about here, and it gives some actual steps to getting through it and over it.

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Everyone Is A Critic…

Rob SaysLeave a comment

active ash cloud ashes blaze

Everyone is a critic, and when you are doing your thing, being you, they will eventually come out of the shadows and strike. Usually when you least expect it. Little snide remarks in most cases. Sometimes a back-handed compliment. Once in a great while, they will give it straight to you, something along the lines of, “I don’t like you and what you are saying or doing, you suck.” It’s rare, but it does happen.

Honestly I have more respect for a critic, or naysayer, that comes straight at me and pulls no punches. It’s the weasley back-handed, passive-aggressive one’s that I can’t stand. The one’s that say shit to others, but don’t have the balls to say it to you. The one’s who “joke” with you while handing out their dose of venom. The one’s that when you confront them, they say, “I was just kidding, it was just a joke.” The one’s that could “do it better” than you are doing it.

For you guys that could “do it better than me,” instead of talking shit to other’s, why don’t you just shut your fucking mouths and do it then? Write your own goddamn blog posts and make your own videos. Do your own shows. If you don’t like it, don’t read it, don’t watch it, move on, and do your own?

I’d let you get to me, but I’ve got shit to do. While you are talking shit to other’s, I’m busy doing my thing. And honestly, I wouldn’t trade my life for yours. Keep on talking shit, it’s all you’re good at anyways. Keep consuming instead of producing. Keep on reading my shit and watching my videos, you’re just adding to my traffic count and my analytics. You’re actually not a “hater,” you’re a fan.

Critics will show up the more you do your thing and live your life, and they don’t matter. Critics don’t matter at all, except one:

The Inner Critic. The critic that resides deep inside each and every one of us. That’s the only one that matters, and it’s your job to listen to that critic, because every once in awhile, that critic actually offers some insight and some good advice. Most of the time though, your job is to either ignore that fucker, just like you would ignore the critics of the world, or it’s your job to shut that fucker up.

Prove that critic wrong. Show him that yes, you can. And you will. Push beyond the doubt and the fear and do it anyway. Do it out of spite if you have to. Do it, whatever it takes.

Here’s something I’ve realized while running my mouth, I’ve got way more guys who are thanking me for what I’m doing than dipshits who “could do it better.” Mostly I do what I do for myself, it’s me making mental notes and figuring my own shit out as I go, but I also do this for those of you that find it, to let you know you are not alone out there in the dark. I’m leaving “bread crumbs” in the forest. I’m holding a torch. I’m letting you know you aren’t crazy, it’s the world that is crazy, and you’ve known that for a long time. Welcome to sanity.

So for you that have found this and found me, I’m glad you’re here. Honestly you were never lost in the first place, you just had to burn for awhile. I get it, I’ve been there and done that too. And I’m positive I’ll be setting myself on fire again in short order, because that’s part of what I do.

Here’s what I would like you to do though, should you choose to accept it:

Boost the signal.

You were wandering around, setting yourself on fire with your head up your ass, and yet you started unfucking yourself by whatever means were necessary. Help the next guy out. I’m not saying embrace him while he’s burning, that’s not your job. You’re not here to save him. Just boost the signal. Start your own blog of your own journey of unfucking yourself. Talk about the stupid shit you have done to yourself. Start your own video channel. Boost the signal. Leave your own bread crumbs around for other’s to find. Light your own torch in the dark for other’s to see their way.

I don’t want to be too cliched, but “build it and they will come.” It’s what has been showing up in my life. Maybe you’ll say something that I haven’t heard before. Maybe you’ll say something in a different way than I do. Maybe you’ll say it better than I ever could. And all of that is necessary and needed.

To my Inner Critic, I’m listening and I’m summarily ignoring you in most cases, and in others, I’m choosing to do something just to spite you.

To all of my other critic’s, thank you for being my fans. You make me laugh and smile. When I hear from you, whether you come straight at me or you play sneaky bastard behind my back, I know I’m doing it right because I’m irritating you.

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Insomnia

Rob Says1 Comment

man in blue and brown plaid dress shirt touching his hair

It’s 1am in the morning as I write this. I went to bed early, around 9pm, promptly fell asleep, and then woke up at 11pm.

And now I’m wide awake. After tossing and turning for 2 hours, I decided to hell with it, I’m getting up and doing something. Maybe after I write this, I’ll be able to go back to bed and get back to sleep. If not, the rest of this day is going to be a long day.

I’ve got so many things on my mind right now, it’s a tornado inside my head. The crazy thing is, I can’t seem to really pin any of these thoughts down for very long, if at all. I’m gonna try and pin a couple of them down though. Forgive my “stream of consciousness.”

I’ve got some concerns over finances. The registration on the car is coming up by the end of the month, and of course property taxes are just around the corner. I’ve got excitement for my upcoming trip to visit with Vince, TJ, Aaron, and anyone else who decides to show up. I want to get the motorcycle out and do some rides before the weather turns to shit. I’m excited for an event that’s coming up in late October.

And then there’s my Mom. It’s been almost a year since she died. September 17th will be one whole year. Where has the time gone? In some ways, it feels like it was only yesterday that she died. In other ways, it feels like it’s been an eternity. Some days I can still hear her voice very clearly, almost like she is in the next room. Other days, like right now, I barely remember what she sounded like. As of right now, I still haven’t been to the cemetary to visit her grave.

My Dad asked me about that a little while ago. He’s been up to the cemetary to visit her grave and make sure that it looks nice. You know, make sure there isn’t garbage on her spot. Make sure there isn’t any weeds or other nonsense going on around her grave. He told me it’s been well taken care of and it looks nice. I guess the guys who carved the headstone did a really good job.

But I haven’t been there yet. And honestly I have no desire to go there. I’m sure I’m avoiding something here. I know she’s gone and I’m as good with that as I’ll ever be. Maybe seeing her grave will “break something loose.” Maybe not. Maybe it will be no big deal. Just another headstone in another cemetary.

In my current state, you’ll have to pardon me if I don’t remember if I posted about what I’m about to say or not:

People who dwell in the past tend towards depression. People who dwell in the future tend towards anxiety. This isn’t a medical or psychological diagnosis I’m making here, just an observation. Most of the people that I’ve encountered throughout my life that either dwelled on the past or the future ended up either depressed or anxious most of the time.

When I think about how I do “my thing,” I tend to focus pretty much on the present with some jumps into the future. I’ve never been one to dwell on the past. The past is the past right? You can’t change it and you can’t go back to it, so why dwell on it? I think a lot of sentimentality is created from dwelling on the past, for better or for worse. I guess that’s why I’m not much of a sentimental guy. I guess that’s why I’m not too bothered about things like old family photos or the lack of them.

I’ve started a couple of “relationships” with a couple different women at the moment. These relationships have a shelf life, they have an expiration date. I don’t know when they will expire, but I’m sure they will. I’m not seeking anything long term and my expectations are low. In fact, I don’t have any expectations of these women except that if they are going to show up, we’ll enjoy each other’s company until it’s time for one of us to go home. Maybe we’ll see each other for several days, weeks, months, or even years. I highly doubt it, but hey, stranger things have happened. If they walk tomorrow, that’s okay. I have enjoyed myself fully while I was with them and while I was around them. I accept them for who and what they are. I don’t dig deep into their going’s on, other than scheduling the next time that we will get together. Their lives are their own. Their circuses and their monkeys are theirs, not mine.

That’s living in the present to me. Come and be around me, but if you do, leave your drama at home. Don’t bring it to my doorstep please.

Have you guys ever had insomnia? You still dealing with it? What has worked for you? Tell me in the comments, or shoot me an email.

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