Author: Rob Says

A man who loves and likes women.

New Years 2020

Rob Says2 Comments

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Happy New Year everyone, here we are not only a new year, but a new decade. Where are coming from? Where are we going? More specifically, where did I come from and where am I going?

2019 was a fantastic year for the most part for me. In that time I got to:

Be a part of Masculine Geek.

Be a part of Red Evening.

Meet a whole bunch of great Men online.

Meet a bunch of great Men in person, and some of them live close by.

Meet up with Vince, TJ, and Aaron Clarey during the Masculine Geek Village By The Sea.

Meet some great Men during the Village By The Sea.

Grow on all of my social media platforms.

Date and relate with a bunch of fantastic women.

Push myself to put out more content than I did in 2018.

I’m very satisfied with what I have accomplished in 2019. I’m not done yet, not by a long shot. Some of the plans I have for 2020 include:

Being a part of Masculine Geek taking Italy By Storm (my name for it.)

Doing a show called Let ‘Em Burn with Nick August and Rob.

Meeting even more people in real life and this includes a trip to Houston, Texas. Why Houston? Why not? Many of the people that I have met online live either in Houston or nearby, so that would be a great opportunity to meet them all, if possible. Besides, I do have a thing for Texas. Say what you will about soy infiltrating it, Texas is still a pretty great state.

I want to take a trip up North beyond the Wall and visit with people I’ve met that live in Canada.

Will I be able to make all of this happen? I don’t know. Funds and time are at a premium for me, but I’m going to do what I can.

Of course I plan to keep on keeping on with Masculine Geek, Red Evening, and putting out my own content. This is my legacy as far as I’m concerned. This is my mission.

What else is 2020 going to bring? I don’t know for sure, other than I want Men and women both to understand something:

We all ultimately have to bow down or bend the knee to something. Whether you bow down to a god or the State, you are bowing down and bending the knee. I know that even I bend the knee on some level. I pay my taxes, I go to court when I have to, and I pay my bills. So yes, even I have to bend the knee. Honestly it bugs the shit out of me to a large degree, but it is what it is. I’m just finding ways to minimize how much bowing I have to do and for how long I need to be on my knee.

I want to point out to anyone that stumbles across my work that you are bowing down to one system or another. Maybe even more than one system. Realize this now. How many systems or people do you bend the knee to? Why do you do it?

Everybody has a system or an idea that they want to pitch and sell to you. They want your time, your money, and in their own way, they want you to bend the knee to them.

All religions do this. The State does this. Anyone telling you otherwise is lying to you. Even I’m doing it to you right now as you read this. I’m wanting you to NOT bend the knee to me, but to only bend it for yourself, when it benefits you. Stay sharp, stay alert. Stay focused. Use your critical thinking skills. Realize that damn near everyone “out there” has an agenda.

These agendas may not be “negative” per se, but they are agendas nonetheless. The question is, does their agenda benefit you? If so, great. If not, why should you bend the knee to it? Again, what’s in it for you?

I got pitched an agenda a few days before New Year’s on Twitter. I was told that there was a solution to our modern problems. Would I support it? I asked, “What’s in it for me?”

You want me to kiss a new ring, which is really the old ring. You want me to swear loyalty and fealty to your “new way” which in the end, is just the old way.

“We will get rid of divorce,” they said.

“Okay, what else?”

“You can’t have it both ways,” they said.

“I understand what you are saying, but what is in it for me?”

“We’ll get rid of the drag-queen show in schools,” they said.

“That is irrelevant to me, for I have no children of my own, and I don’t care about your children.” I said. “Again, what is in it for me? Here is a serious question for you, can I have multiple wives?”

“No. Monogamy is what we are offering.”

“Then you have nothing to offer me, for I already have multiple women in my life who understand that I am non-exclusive and non-monogamous. Why would I choose just one when I can have many?”

The new crown is the old crown, without even a new veneer. Religion has nothing new to offer me. No new answers, no actionable solutions, just more bend the knee. Thank you, but I’ll pass.

I may never totally leave the plantation, because honestly there is nowhere to go, but I can minimize what the plantation takes from me. I encourage you to do the same.

If you want “real change” in the world around you, it begins with you, of course. Then you have to change the laws and the State, which is the One True God. All religions bow before the One True God in the West. All else is live action roleplaying. Keep that in mind when those that would have you join their cause, or buy their course,  or join their digital online fort start preaching “patriarchy” or anything else. The only real Patriarch in the West is the One True God, the State. If you are a Man in the West, the One True God does not care for you or about you except as a tax base.

Stay alert, stay sharp, and stay focused. Ask, “What’s in it for me?” You may have to bend the knee, but you will be the one to get to decide when and where you do, and for how long you do it.

Stop looking for answers from guru’s who are LARPing. They want you to stay stuck where you are so that you can keep paying them for promises they cannot and will not keep and for results that may not matter at the end of the day.

Decide for yourself what it is that you want in this world that you inhabit. Do your own investigations and your own research. Take your time looking into whatever it is that you are interested in. Don’t fall for the Fear of Missing Out and don’t fall for false time constraints. That sale will happen again, I promise you, and that “limited seating/limited availability” is just another lie. There will always be another seat for you at their table so long as you have the money to sit. The question I ask you to consider though is, “Is their table worth sitting at?”

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Let ‘Em Burn Part 2

Rob SaysLeave a comment

fire warm radio flame

The Latest Dumpster Fire Brought To You By BullRush.

Hang on with me here for a minute while I give you some definitions. I promise, there’s a point to it.

The definition of sadism: A delight in cruelty. Yes, there’s a sexual component in the main definition as well, but for the purposes of this article, I’m not using the sexual part, just the delight in cruelty.

The definition of masochism: pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering.

Normally, I’m not one to go back and read my blog posts once I’ve done the initial proof-reading and submitted it for posting. I’m definitely a “one and done guy” when it comes to what I write. Otherwise I would be constantly going back, changing shit up, adding something here, deleting something there, and the work would probably never see the light of day. My perfectionism in what I do is one way that I definitely set myself on fire.

I had to go back today though and read my first post about letting them burn. I wanted to make sure that what I’m going to bring up today isn’t just an entire repeat and rehash of that prior work.

Side note:

I’m really proud of that post. I’m also really proud of myself that I didn’t go back and start nitpicking it and rearranging it like I thought I would. I guess while I doused myself in gasoline with the thought of going back and revisiting it, I didn’t actually strike a match and set myself on fire.

The post still stands. I should hope it does, since it’s sort of my mantra.  Most of the stuff I write about is more, “notes to myself” than anything.

Here’s a funny thing I’ve realized:

I have a little sadistic streak. I get a little giddy when I watch someone burn. I find myself giggling when it happens. I’m not going to lie, it’s fun to watch them burn. I want to pull out the marshmallows and start cooking them over the fire, and then ask them, “How’s that working out for ya, bud?” But I know they won’t hear me over the sound of the flames.

I’m beginning to think in terms of sadism and masochism lately. The only thing I can think of when someone sets themselves on fire is that they want to burn, that they want to suffer. You and have both seen someone set themselves on fire again and again, over the same issue or issues. I’m thinking that if you do that, you’re probably a masochist. You enjoy the suffering. With the power of the internet at your fingertips, a group of Men in the ‘Sphere who are willing and able to help you out, and you ignore that help, or even better, you refuse it? You are a masochist in my eyes. You definitely get to burn. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you are a decent person, but burn you will. And I will enjoy watching it happen. I’ll warm my hands over your fire.

Every now and then, I’ll stumble across someone burning and get this impulse to want to help them, to save them from themselves. I have to take a step back, take a deep breath, and tell myself, “Let ‘Em Burn.” And then I can smile and nod, tell them what they want to hear if necessary, and get on with my life. I don’t get nearly as pissed off as I used to.

I have empathy, believe me I do. Whatever dumb shit someone is doing at that moment, I’ve probably done it before. So I most likely know where they are coming from. I just don’t do pity. I’m not going to feel sorry for myself when I set myself on fire, and I’m not going to feel sorry for you or anyone else when they set themselves on fire. You just get to burn.

I’m finding myself wanting to add fuel to that fire these days. It’s that sadist in me. Instead of just sitting back and roasting marshmallows, I’m wanting to “agree and amplify” the inferno in front of me. I’m thinking and hoping that what will happen is that you will burn hotter, faster, and brighter than before, and therefore you’ll burn out or put your own fire out faster so that we can get on with the business of getting on. Maybe that will work out. Maybe not. We’ll see. Time will tell.

Guys, if you are going to take “Let ‘Em Burn” to heart and actually use it, you’re going to have to get merciless and ruthless, especially with yourselves. Don’t do pity on yourselves. Don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Don’t kill yourselves when you set yourselves on fire, but don’t have a pity party either. It’s okay when you burn, that’s hopefully when and where you will learn about yourselves. Maybe you won’t be so eager to light another match on the next go around. Then again, maybe you’re a masochist and you enjoy your suffering. I understand that too. And if you want, I’m more than happy and willing to help you in that endeavor as well. I like to watch people twist in the wind. I enjoy the bonfires. The marshmallows are especially tasty when I’m toasting them over you. I enjoy it when I roast those babies over myself. Guess I’m kind of a masochist too.

When you’re either done burning and have put yourself out, or it burned out on it’s own, I’ll be there for you if you would like. I can either hand you a damp towel so that you can wipe the soot off of your face, or I can hand you another container of gasoline and another match.

Either way, I’m good.

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Merry Christmas 2019

Rob Says1 Comment

red and green mistletoe decoration

As 2019 draws to a close and Christmas is here, I tend to get a bit introspective. Don’t worry, I’m going to save my “Things from 2019” post for New Year’s. Today I want to talk about some other things.

On this last Wednesday, Vince, TJ, and I did a Christmas Special on Masculine Geek. TJ won the vote from the guys in the chat and so he gets the prize, whatever that may be. I didn’t participate in the decorating of my home and compete with these guys, however, I ended up with 3 votes anyways. (One of them being my own.) Apparently having nothing but a green screen counts as Christmas in at least two other guys’ votes.

I don’t really care much for Christmas. I don’t even own any Christmas decorations. If you were to come to my home right now, you would find zero Christmas stuff going on. I’ve lived in the same home for almost 15 years now and never had any Christmas decorations of my own. My ex-wife had some when I moved her in, and I think my ex-girlfriend had one or two things as well. But me? Nothing.

When I was a young kid, I did the whole Christmas thing with my family. You know, bringing in the tree, hanging the lights and tinsel, wrapping the presents, and keeping the cats out of the tree. It was probably what the average person goes through with Christmas for the most part. Maybe that’s why I don’t have any memories that really stand out for me, they are all pretty par for the course.

The memories that do stand out for me are from darker times. My first memory was when I was 20 and it was right before Christmas, and I had actually picked up my shotgun, looked down the barrel, and entertained putting it in my mouth and pulling the trigger with my toe. I wrote about that time period and that particular relationship in another blog post that you can read about here if you so choose. I’ve already covered that one about as much as I want to talk about it.

The next strong memory I have of Christmas would have been 2014. In early November is when I told my now ex-wife that I wanted a divorce. Christmas was a joy that year, let me tell you. Again, my old friend, suicidal thoughts, had been showing up for a while. My only real options was to either put a bullet in my head, or get divorced. So I told her I wanted a divorce, and here we are.

Now let’s talk about Christmas of 2018. If any of you have been following me for a while, you’ll know or remember that in September of 2018 my Mother died and my ex-girlfriend decided to end our relationship. Christmas last year was easily the hardest Christmas I’ve had to date. The main saving grace for me on that one was reaching out on Twitter to literally anyone who would listen. Luckily for me, Vincent was the Man that reached out with a lifeline and helped talk me off the mental ledge that I was standing on.

Vincent doesn’t know it, well maybe he does now, but to me, I have a debt to him that I’ll probably never be able to repay. Not that he thinks I owe him anything, because I know that is not the case. Either way though, Vince, I can never repay you for what you did for me. You are a true Brother. I’m honored to be able to call you my Friend. You ever need anything, I’ll do whatever I can to make it happen. You know that. All you need to do is call and say the word.

I was reading a post written by Tim Beckett the other day, it’s called The Chasm. It’s a great read. You should check it out if you haven’t. In it, he talks about a college friend of his who committed suicide four years ago.

One of the things that Tim mentioned that really stood out for me was this:

His ex, after the initial shock, quietly called the police, had them clean up the mess, fake mourned with the kids, and resumed her life. Everything this horribly symbolic gesture he thought was supposed to get out of her, regret, sadness, misery, being lost, pining for him to come back, didn’t transpire. She cashed the life insurance check, went to the funeral, and then went on with her life.

There’s some brutal truth for you.

I remember when I was 20 and was considering eating a shotgun round. Why a shotgun? To make sure I did the job right the first time. I didn’t want to end up a vegetable or with brain damage or something of that nature. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it, and do it right.

The harsh truth: His ex didn’t give a flying fuck about his death.

I understand this completely. That girl that I pined over when I was 20, the one that was my “One,” she didn’t give a flying fuck either. How do I know this? Because I ran into her in 2015 not too long after I got divorced. 23 years later, life hadn’t been too kind to her. I remember seeing her and thinking to myself, “I seriously considered killing myself over you? Wow…” The best part of it all though was she barely remembered me. I guess I didn’t leave as much of an impression on her as she did on me. I’m positive it would have been the same for her had I followed through. She might have been shocked and traumatized for a short period of time, but eventually she would have moved on with her life. I would have still been dead.

Guys, the holidays are hard. I would say that the Christmas season is probably the hardest of them all, for all sorts of reasons. Whatever you are going through, you can get through it. Suicide isn’t the answer. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you are hurting, it’s okay to reach out and talk to someone. It’s what I did, both times I seriously thought about eating a bullet, and I’m still here because I did. Do the same. Reach out. Talk to someone. You can always reach out to me if you want. My DM’s on Twitter are always open, or you can reach out to me via e-mail.

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