I mostly talk with Rian, Jack, the Let Em Burn crew, and a few folks from the Married Red Pill. That’s a very small group of folks that are part of a much larger group of guys talking about (broadly) men’s issues. But the more I hear about the others, the more I don’t want to know what they’re about. In a very fundamental way, they don’t get it. They don’t get it, or they’ve forgotten it. They don’t get why so many men flock to the internet every day and discover this space. After watching all the red meat online, somewhere along the way, they’ve put the focus on whamen behaving badly, whamen getting their comeuppance, or dudes being chumps, or society breaking the backs of men, and have forgotten about themselves.

I’ve been here way too long. While complying with my government’s rules to stay at home for two years, I’ve preoccupied my time devouring Red Pill material. Once I’ve gotten fed up and left the house, I’ve done the approaches, got the dating apps, and eventually got laid. But in the middle of it all, I had to be called aside and asked, “Dante, you’re doing all this, what is it you actually want?”. This question rocked me to my core, because I spent so much time and energy doing shit, not realizing that I was actually lost. It took me several months, but since then I’ve come up with my answer. And to my surprise, it’s an answer that I think everyone in this space had at one point, but forgotten. So to save you the time, here’s my answer and, most likely, the reason you’re here. Class is in session.

Men and women, together

Rollo makes the claim that “Men and women are better together than they are apart”. And if you buy evolutionary biology, this is true. Every sexual (with male and female) species is designed to have the two sexes get together and reproduce. If these traits passed down from our evolutionary ancestors to present day you, it’s most likely that you are evolutionarily programmed to have the opposite sex in your life too. By being human (not me, I’m a panda), you are programmed to get women, fuck them, and be in their company. If you can’t accept this, stop and don’t go any further. We’re never going to agree on the succeeding paragraphs.

One key idea I found in Ian Ironwood’s writings (I’m summarizing and extending his thoughts here) is that men have an impetus for individual sovereignty, while women have an impetus for social harmony. From a sociological standpoint, having both in your court is highly advantageous. Without individual sovereignty, you cannot go after your wants and desires. Without social harmony, almost everyone would be dead. The most successful strategy therefore is to build a society whose foundation is a social harmony built on protecting individual sovereignty — men and women together.

Another example from personal experience: I remember when my sister and I were little, she’d clutch my arm when we cross the street and have her anxiety about getting hit by an oncoming car depend upon me for emotional support. The mundane experience of crossing the street became more exciting for me. Instead of me just getting to where I have to go, it became a game of “don’t get hit by a car”. And my sister wasn’t doing this deliberately. It was her instinct that drove her to do this, and I benefit from it as a result. There’s something about men that women need, and there is something about women that men need. It just is. Don’t be surprised then that men and women together would mean an increase in happiness overall.

Why this space exists

The early pickup artists were not going around hitting on women because they hated them and wanted to hold them accountable. Quite the contrary. The early red pill guys were not online discussing women’s nature because they wanted to exploit it and harm the women in their lives. Quite the contrary. The early married red pill guys do not talk all day about their wives because they wished she was dead. Quite the contrary. They decided, by dare I say instinct, that not having women/sexual companionship in their lives kinda sucked. This is the very core of it. And everyone talking about men’s issues has become distracted with talking about other things, like holding women accountable, getting back at feminism, posturing on Twitter, etc. This is an absolute tragedy. Because instead of solving this core issue, we’re coping and blaming and proselytizing and grifting.

As a coping strategy came forth the Men’s Right’s Activists – whose sole hope is that the state give them more stuff, the Incel movement – guys who hate women because they themselves lack the skill and courage to talk to them, the original MGTOW movement – guys who once made women the center of their lives and are sick of it, and the Black Pill (MGTOW 2.0) – guys who are looking for a reason to believe that getting a girl is a hopeless endeavor and that we should all give up. Coping strategies that cause general misery. Every guy here at one point did not want to hate women, did not want to fight feminism, didn’t want to blame everything on Biden or anything like that. They wanted to get laid, have girls stick around, and get their marriages right. It’s amazing how the algorithm and Smart TVs have gotten us to change our wants and desires for something that is ultimately against our nature. The modern relationship discourse by both men and women is one of the most toxic spaces to listen to.

But men did not originally come here for this reason. They came here to have a great relationship with the opposite sex.

Conclusion

So what’s in this for you? Ignore 90% of the content out there, and focus on this key idea: how are these tips, tricks, and ideas, helping me build a great interaction with the opposite sex? You will thank yourself for it, and you will realize your life gets better as a result. At least I know it did for me.

Originally posted on Substack.

Hi, Dante here.

This is my first post on Rob’s blog. If you’re curious about who I am and what I’m about, I run a discord server around “Red Pill” ideas without any of the red meat. I occasionally write on a separate blog around about my own experiences around these ideas. I’ve asked Rob if I could syndicate my blog content here, and he agreed.

Both Jack and Rob are much more senile and frail than I am 😛. This means that if there are any contradictions between what I say and what they say, you should probably put more weight on the older fucks’ words.

But at the very least, I hope that whatever you read of mine either makes you think, or keeps you entertained.

Cheers, and onto the article.

—

This article was first posted on The Divine Comedy.

Most guys who are in these spaces learn what they have to learn and move on. Once you learn to spend your time in a way that’s most valuable to you, you have less and less patience for retards on the internet. Most people can’t be helped. And that’s okay. You can only help yourself. Sounds reasonable.

But that begs the question then: why are Rian, Rob, Nick, Bullrush, Mish, business—travel, whinemoreplease, threekindsoflucky, RuleZeroDad, and Turk Innocenti here? All of these guys can make more money doing anything else but talk sexual strategy and life advice. Some of them have families and real lives that they can just go out and enjoy. More importantly, why should you, the young inexperienced moron, care about this question? If the old dogs are giving free meat, why don’t we just take it and run with it?

Here’s why that question was important to me: If there’s anything you learn about being a man from this space, it’s that you become valuable to other people when you provide something of value. Nothing is ever free. Facebook taught us that if you don’t pay for the product, you are the product. So something must be keeping them here. And if you’re after your own best interest, it better not be at your expense. Facebook takes your away your personal information and uses it to sell you stuff advertisers want to advertise. So don’t be fooled. These guys are getting something out of this.

Also, a good question to ask is, what incentive do they have to give honest advice? If they have nothing to gain, why would they bother sharing the real stuff they’ve learned over years and years of experience? That isn’t free.

There’s people making money hand over fist in this space I’m sure. That’s almost become the mainstream thing. Some guys are here for clout. Those validation seeking behaviors seem to just never go away. But if you’re here long enough, you’ll realize the guys I talk about seem to do it for something other than money or attention. Something money just can’t buy. I’ve spent money on the stuff some of these guys produce. And I’m getting back more than 10x, 20x the value of what I’ve been given. Sometimes, I get it all for free. So they’re not pricing it all in. A lot of them have been anon and have kept a very low profile. So they’re not here for the attention.

You might say “well maybe they just want to help you”. But I don’t think so. They’ll tell you over and over that they really don’t care about you. And it’s not because they hate you. All of us are avatars on the internet until a situation forces us to have a common reason to care about each others’ well-being. I’ve met some of these folks on video, and if I die tomorrow, there might be one day for me, maybe even only a half day, but the rest of their years will be for them. So they’re not here because they want to help men or that they’re passionate about helping men necessarily.

Are these guys just bored? Maybe. But if you’ve worked on yourself long enough, you’ll have plenty of things to do that’ll kill time that’s worth more than reading about somebody who’s blowing up his life. Boredom might still be a problem for these guys, but it’s one of the problems they’re old enough to know how to deal with. And if there’s anything learned about going out into the real world and living life, it’s that real life is so much better than being here.

So they’re not after money and attention, They’re not here to “help.” And they’re not bored. Why are they here watching you step on your own dick?

Remember they had to go through the same stuff you’re going through now. All the approaches, dating, fucking, and plating. They’ll read that field report you’ve written and they already know it through and through. It took them years of experience before they got to where they are now. Unfortunately, time is a motherfucker and that struggle goes by real quick. There’s a sweet spot where it’s still challenging and fun that’s great to be in. But for them, it’s gone now. You don’t realize it now because it sucks and you’re struggling. But even now, I look back fondly at the time I first started approaching. That was when my excitement for it was the highest. I still get nervous when approaching a girl that I think is really hot. But for most girls, approaching them is like brushing my teeth.

These guys are way past where I am. They’re so successful that they don’t have to think about approaching. Most girls become “meh”, and “Game” becomes part of their day to day. That raw excitement that I talked about is mostly gone. It’s not new anymore and they’ve moved on. They’d love to go back to that and do it all over again. But you can’t turn back time.

But a new guy’s field report is new. It’s fresh. It comes with the difficulties and emotions that they once felt but are way past now. You can’t go back in time and get that back but you can read someone going through the same issues and look back fondly over those experiences. When they tell stories about what they did, when you see them swap notes with you, you can see their eyes light up and their voice get excited.

If you’re doing honest work, and you’re writing about it online, your experience will resonate with theirs. Even if you post about your failures in the game, chances are they did exactly the same thing! They get to relive and fondly remember those foolish, awkward, dangerous, and exciting experiences they had when they were starting out in a concrete way!

So what does this mean for you, the reader?

This is a lesson in what it’s like to bring value effortlessly. It’s not you deliberately trying to give them nostalgia. It’s that by doing what you do for your own self, other people are choosing to get what they can from you. You don’t have to give these guys anything. But they capture the value from you nonetheless. And for the most part, they’re willing to offer you advice mostly for free, and with nothing but time and patience (God knows I’ve abused it).

Just doing your own thing and writing about it publicly. You don’t have to cater it to anyone. You don’t have to make it sound nostalgic to the reader. Just make it for you and then they’ll take it from there.

So if you’re a new guy, it’s in your best interest to:

Keep.

Posting.

Field.

Reports.

We’re in this weird economy of guys exchanging nostalgia for advice. And so long as there are honest guys doing honest work on their own lives, they bring that value with themto any more seasoned folks in this space.

Update: Turk Innocenti posted a great thread riffing on this post. I’m sure you’re interested in what he has to say.