This is “Teriyaki.” I call her that because of an inside joke between us. I met her back in July of this year. It all started with this text:

It’s been a lot of fun hanging around her and getting to know her, and I can’t complain about the sex, there’s been plenty of it, and she’s pretty open-minded about trying and doing new and different things.

The woman has gone through some things in her life, some of them are totally out of her control, because sometimes shit just does happen, and some of the things are her doing. Watching her as she talks about those things, what she has learned about those things and herself, I think she’s seriously wanting to change her life around compared to when she was much younger. Let’s just say that her actions are speaking louder than her words when it comes to cleaning her life up.

I’m bringing her up today because of a post that I read earlier. Madd Monk is a blog that I follow and I read when he posts something. I haven’t read all of his stuff yet, but from what I gather, he’s a younger guy who got divorced, took the Red Pill, has been owning his shit, and has been learning game and spinning plates to one degree or another. I like reading his blog because he’s actually a really good writer. I feel like I’m right there, listening to him say what he’s got to say. His blog is mostly about his different adventures with the different women that he’s met over the last several months and how he feels about them and about himself. He’s definitely a guy who is blogging his own personal journey with women.

On one of his latest posts, he had this to say:

I genuinely enjoy Midwest’s [one of his girls -ed.] company whether we’re having sex or not. That’s enough for me to keep her around. I don’t feel drained when I’m around her.

I get where he’s coming from. While I enjoy random, casual sex with what my ex-wife referred to as my “strange women,” I also enjoy them for their company. I don’t always have to have sex, and sometimes I’m just not in the mood, although it doesn’t take much for me to get in the mood. That’s one of many things that I like about Teriyaki. We don’t just have sex. We have conversations and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. She’s actually fun to be around.

One of the things that I noticed pretty early on with her is that she is comfortable with silence. She doesn’t feel the need to fill up the empty space between us with a lot of conversation and sound. When I’m working on something like a video or a blog post, she’s perfectly content to do her own thing. She doesn’t need constant communication and constant talk. Just being in some form of proximity is good enough for her.

I like that about her. When I was married, my ex-wife couldn’t stand silence and so she constantly talked. She once told me, “There wasn’t an unspoken thought in her head,” and she wasn’t kidding. Having to constantly listen and keep track of all the babble that came out of that woman’s mouth was exhausting to say the least. I tried for a while, but eventually gave up as it became too much for me to keep track of everything going on in my own head, let alone her head. The only time that my ex-wife would shut up was when one of her favorite TV shows was on. Then at least I wouldn’t have to hear her ramble on about whatever was rattling around in her head. Until it was commercial time, then let the onslaught commence. That’s how it was for the entire duration of our marriage.

My ex-girlfriend was good with silence and was good with doing her own thing too. I didn’t have to listen and keep up with every little thought that ran around in her head. Teriyaki is no different. I guess I’m doing something “right.” It goes to show that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

My whole point of writing this post isn’t to wax poetically about Teriyaki, but it is to say that I know that I look for more than “just sex.” I may not be looking for monogamy and “playing house,” and while a fast “pump and dump” is nice on occasion, I mostly look for a stronger connection than just a sexual one. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I sometimes wonder if one of the reasons that guys will readily and willingly jump into monogamy and commitment isn’t just because of thirst and the availability of easy sex, but is also because they sometimes stumble upon someone, at least early on, who they genuinely enjoy being around, or they think that they enjoy being around. Someone that they can have a conversation and do stuff with as well as have sex with.

I’m pretty sure that this is the case to one degree or another, but I felt it needed to be said. Sometimes the guys on the internet get so caught up in “only banging 9’s and 10’s” and what is or isn’t “Alpha,” and painting green lines on pictures, and pointing out that the more you lean, the bigger simp you are, that they forget why they are there.

It isn’t about leaning or not leaning, it isn’t about what is or isn’t alpha, it’s about creating connections. Whether those connections only last for a few hours, or they last for years, it’s about creating connections.

Hopefully some of those guys that I previously mentioned will see this and read it and it’ll help them get themselves back on course.

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